You've just got to accept that America is home now. I have to face it, rather than fight it. I've been gone from the UK for the best part of a decade and would probably feel even more out of place if I returned tomorrow.

The healthcare issue sucks here, Republicans are wankers and I have failed to get into American sports thus far, but this enormous country is my home now.

Note to self: deal with it and get into the Boston Celtics.

Welcome to the dark side

I don't think the UK has changed that much, I think I would still fit in.

I find that each time I go back to the UK I fell less and less like I fit in. I even find it hard to watch TV, or listen to the radio, it takes me a while to "tune in" to the accent, even though I still have my English accent...scary

I probably would, but can't go back. I have to try to find a part of this country that I can be comfortable in. With the pending divorce, the USA is my oyster, so to speak of. New York, Pittsburgh, northern California, Oregon and Washington (state) are all high on the list.

Have I missed something, why can't you go back?

The UK will always be where I came from, but having spent the last few days / weeks soul searching, I know that I cannot go back there, not even to visit. I will still take solace in looking back at my time there while wearing heavily rose tinted specs, immersed in nostalgia, looking at it on Google Street View, but that's as far as it'll go. Logically, going back would just be "weird", especially as I have so many bad memories there and family that I'd rather were 4,000 miles away rather than 40 miles away.

Mostly personal reasons, i.e. bad memories, shitty family. Looking at it objectively, I'm way better off over here.

Don't tell them you've moved back

You seem to miss it though, emotionally and culturally. Don't underestimate that. And the door's never closed , btw. No, you can't go back to the way you saw things before you left, but I've found that doesn't matter. You haven't stood still and nor has the country - you both have changed, and it all works.

Having said that, if you miss the UK I think you will fit in culturally better at the edges of this country than the middle. You might like the Pacific Northwest.

Agreed, EtU you could always just pretend you were still living in the US, we won't tell

Exactly.

And really, it isn't "going back". It's "going on" - but just in your own country. What you do with it is up to you - but it certainly isn't returning to the past, because the past is another country, as they say.

LOL, I actually contemplated that, but while that may work as far as the wanky family is concerned, it won't keep the ghosts at bay. The UK isn't a big country; I have memories in quite a few corners of it. I've also lived here for so long that I have most likely underestimated how subconsciously Americanized I have most likely become over the last 9 years. I would be in no less of a difficult predicament back there - no one to rely on an I'd be in what would most likely feel like a foreign country at this stage = bad move.

My gut is telling me to tough it out here, even if my heart tells me otherwise and history has proven that my gut instincts are seldom wrong. At this point, I could literally go back to the UK pernanently this week, but that would be a bad idea. I have as little there as I do here.

Good way of putting it

Well it's your call, but from your posts you seem to have a struggle with the US.

It seems unlikely that there are 'ghosts' in every part of the UK