Disappearing pens, where the hell do they all go, and then when you do find one it runs out of ink as soon as you start trying to write something with it

When you get all geared up for a sneeze and it just goes away. It's the most unsatisfying feeling ever, that one ...

I have hundreds of pens, because I always take pens from hotel rooms, and when I go to conferences etc. snag as many promotional pens as possible. Also, my job at the library involves dealing with publishers, database vendors etc. So I always say to them (faux-joking, of course) "We do two hundred thousand dollars-worth of business with you every year. And you don't even give me a measly pen?" Of course, within a week a package arrives for me with 20 pens in it (plus brochures etc which go straight in the trash.)

Anywhere, here is the peeve part of it. Cheap stick-pens from La Quinta etc last forever and are generally reliable. Expensive looking, ergonomically designed pens from Oxford University Press, Elsevier, ProQuest etc. work once or twice then dry up???

On the subject of pens, does anyone else miss a nice simple, refillable, reliable Parker ball point pen, or one of those fancier Parker rollerball ones for when you want to write neat and that?

Gel pens are fine, as are the ubiquitous Bic crystals, but I like the convenience of the refills and those things used to last an entire school year.

I'd be happy to have one that bleedin' worked when I found it. We had hundreds of pens we bought of box of the bastards, I want to write a birthday card and found three, two which ran out after writing a couple of words, the other one fell apart....

Most of the time I can use a lighter on the end of the pen to warm up the ink and get a little more use from the pen.

The wee-un got into a brand new bag of Bics a while back. Including the one I brought into work with me (which subsequently got nicked, returned without the lid, then nicked again ), I'm buggered if I know where a single one of them is ...

I know our son nicks pens a lot then takes them apart. Are your children, perhaps, to blame?

I bet if we did find the place the pens went, I'd not have so many unpaired socks in my drawer anymore

whereas coat hangers breed.............

I have a pen fetish and can only stand one kind of pen. Even if I have 10 other kinds of pens at my fingertips I refuse to write until I have the right kind of pen. This is at home and at work. I've been addicted to these pens for 15 years and everywhere I work I force all of my office mates to use the same kind of pens so that no matter what desk is nearest I can have easy access to a decent pen.

Respect my pen authoritah!

Not in our house they don't. Unless my wife's clothes breed at a faster rate. That's pretty likely, actually.

Though I don't go to quite the extent you do, I can relate to this. There are probably only 2 or 3 pen varieties at the most that can render my handwriting even somewhat legible.

There it is. Isn't it beautiful.

Looks good right enough.

I like those gel pens myself, but I'm too cheap to buy them, so luckily the cheapo Bics are one of the few that I can write legibly with. Short of going back to using fountain pens again (which I'm not about to do) those will do the trick

Unless I can just get my ma to send me a job lot of Parker clicky ball pens and refills for Chrimbo ...

It's the uni-ball Roller Super Ink Micro 0.5

It has to be Micro 0.5. If you bring me something fatter I will send you back to the store.

I should work for uni-ball. I've converted millions over to their pens.

I've used similar ones in the past. They're pretty good - though they have to be, my writing's so bad I type illegibly

Hauling firewood. Especially when it needs a bit of rotating.

Donations towards our heating oil fund appreciated.

And how come wives who are all for gender equality, never seem to touch a piece of wood? Mother Godess not up to getting her hands dirty on one of her fallen creations I suppose.