Very handy though if staying in some US hotels, just plug them in the sockets in the base of table lamps by bed, ideal for laptop

In the UK the nearest socket is usually other side of room

Your laptop doesn't have a battery.

Yes it does but sadly the usable time on it is very short, so i try to use mains power when possible and save battery for when no power supply available

I feel for you - mine is now at the stage where it is more use as a doorstop than anything else....

Mine is very useful for gathering dog hairs and various items of foodstuff

Someecards. They were funny, about three years ago, but now they all seem to be associated with utterly self-righteous and preachy messages. Arsebook really is making passive-aggression an art form.

Thank **** I'll be dead in 50 years because thinking about what the world will be like when the millenials start having children who will then themselves reproduce makes me want to shoot myself.

You'll need to go to the range to do that.

But that would mean getting up

Hmm.. Yeah, I can see how that is a bit of a weak point.

Maybe you could eat some skittles and have one of your neighbors shoot you. Or go to the bathroom and your wife could do it through the door.

There is still an element of getting up involved there.

Clearly, it needs some work. It's hard to be shot whilst remaining completely inert. I'm sure it's doable though.

Or turn you music up?

Those would be those very bitchy ones that are aimed at no one in particular. Seem to be a lot of line drawings of happy Victorian women telling people to go f themselves. Because that empowers women or something.

Yes, precisely. They have become the new "greeting card text superimposed on an out-of-focus picture of a kitten" post. Blergh.

Bright blue LED lights on electronics devices. Just bought a new external hard drive, and the light is so bright that it's distracting ... Just because the technology now exists to blind you doesn't mean they should ...