Steerpike

You are going to have to start thinking about the US as what it is - a loose association of very different places. In CA, and NY, it is very hard to own a gun. I don't know if I'd call it a 'total ban', but it's not easy to get one. I've been in CA most of my 30 years in the US and never seen a gun, and don't know anyone who owns one. But I spent 5 years in AZ and EVERYONE seemed to own several and talked about them all the time. So do I fret, sitting in the Bay Area, about the fact that some people, somewhere, own and admire guns, or do I get on with life knowing that no one in my circle of friends owns or cares about them, and my local city/county/state is opposed to them?

You will tear your head apart if you worry about what 'other' cities, counties, and states do ... the US is extremely diverse. You have deeply religious areas, people like the Amish, the Mormons ... but is NYC religious ? You have legal pot in Washington and Colorado ...

Sally Redux

It is not difficult to own a gun in CA. Rules about carrying vary by county. I started off by asking mums if they had guns, as they all said yes I stopped asking as I found it too worrying. One Latino bloke I asked said he was against them, I don't know if that is representative. Isla Vista is in CA.

civilservant

I shared alot of your concerns before moving over last year.

Most of them, I have to be honest, have been confirmed, in fact I find myself having taken on one of those concerns, because I now own a gun myself.

The US is nothing but a set of disparate parts, ones that swing wildly in both directions. Down here in Georgia you could throw a stone and hit someone carrying a weapon, while at the same time carrying a Bible (probably) - I doubt you could say the same somewhere like Vermont (although I have no evidence either way) So in a large part it's where you choose to live - NY (where I will be next week incidentally) strikes me as probably the most anti-gun city in the US, but of course there is plenty of gang related violence.

Ultimately, it must come down to you. If you really believe you will be so unhappy in a place, then you need to tell you wife, and go from there. I overcame my concerns and am really enjoying life here, but I decided to push my concerns down and go with the flow. There are something things I will never understand, but I am with the women I love, and that makes everything ok.

That said - no one, in my humble opinion, is worth being miserable for.

dunroving

- short story, similar point: I attended a careers talk at the college I was doing my masters. At the end of the talk, no-one asked questions so I just opened my mouth to see what would come out, and asked "If you would give one piece of advice to people job-searching, what would it be?" His answer was something like:

"When I was graduating I looked for jobs all over and really didn't mind too much where I went as long as it was not Texas. I really had no desire to live in Texas. Well, of all the 100's of applications, I only got one job offer - in Texas. That was over 15 years ago ... and I am still living in Texas and life is great"

He was really making two points. #1: Don't assume you will hate somewhere - give it a chance because it ay be a lot better than you expect. #2: Nothing is permanent. Take the plunge and make the most of it. If you don't like it, use the experience and good references to move elsewhere.

Many people would absolutely kill to get the chance to move to the US. As reluctant as the OP is, I'd say Go for it, and keep your mind open, and realise that it isn't (necessarily) for ever.

Nutmegger

Perhaps it is easier to get consensus in the UK as there is no history of guns being a way of life there -- and the whole country could fit into NYS. CT now has some of the toughest gun laws in the US, I'm happy to say, but much as I would love those laws to apply to the entire country, I am well aware of the "old west" gun culture that exists down the middle of the country and the ridiculous power the gun lobby obviously wields over congress/senate. However, we now have an Rep. a-hole running for CT governor who would repeal some of the restrictive new gun laws, and the race is said to be neck and neck. Depressing.

Sally Redux

Australia instituted tough new gun laws after a mass shooting in 1996. Much smaller population of course but a will to change.

Firearms-Control Legislation and Policy: Australia

fozzyb

When I read about the gang rapes in Rochdale, the victims were all too unimportant to care about, Britains got talent, any town center on a friday night, what passes for 'debate' in Parliament, I want to flee from the 3rd world cesspit that this country has become.

When I look out of my window at the Cambridgeshire village where I live, the thatched cottages, the friendly pub just down the street, my kids playing in the park opposite my house, the ancient church spire in the distance, I never want to leave.

When I think of the 9 year old with the Uzi, top news story being the colour of the president suit, the poverty, the healthcare, the religious fanatics - Who in their right minds would ever want to live in such a screwed up society as the US of A.

When I remember the positive buzz that is Silicon valley, the friends I made when I lived out there, camping amongst the giant redwoods, Hiking around lake Tahoe, Ice cream in the park in February, flying a kite on the beach in Florida. I want to be on the next plane over.

Having lived on both sides of the Atlantic, I find there is 5h1t and diamonds in roughly equal measure on both sides. If you base your life by the Daily Mail or Fox news then life is hell wherever. If you can find an environment that suits you and a good network of friends to share it with then you're in the closest place to heaven.

Concentrate on the foreground of your immediate surroundings and the people around you, not the backdrop of the politics and media, and you may well come to love the place. You are young enough to try it for a couple of years, and if it doesn't work out then at least you know you tried.

Also if you come with a negative mindset its going to be a huge strain on your marriage.

Psyman

Your response reminds me of when I wrote a letter to the Idaho Statesman when the US and UK started bombing Iraq (the second time). I specifically condemned my own country (UK) for their actions and didn't criticize the US at all. Responses were posted that if I didn't like it here in the US I could bugger off home (or words to that effect). My point being, that I find most regressives that I encounter ( btw who wouldn't want to be Progressive? Badge of honour for me.) just argue their case without reference to the discussion at hand or point being made.

So no, I wasn't being offensive and I am not prejudiced. You were obviously blinded if you do not remember the news reports of people rushing to gun stores to buy military style assault weapons before they might be banned. But maybe they didn't show those reports on Fox news. I heard conversations at work too where people were concerned they wouldn't be able to get certain weapons anymore. Of course, most of the US population was horrified at what happened in Newtown. But what has happened nationwide since in terms of making sure it doesn't happen again? Very little, if nothing. I believe some gun control laws were changed in Colorado, and the response was to recall a couple of the politicians that were responsible for that law change.

As has been mentioned on here already, the response of the UK and Australia to such incidents was to bring in laws that make it almost impossible to own a firearm. I'm not saying that can ever happen here, but at least the response of the general population of the UK after mass shootings there was to insist things should change. That may have been the case for a few weeks in the US after Newtown, but the NRA and other lobbyists ensured nothing happened. The same thing will happen again and again I'm sure, but it appears that the general population appear to accept that an incident like Newtown or Aurora from time to time (actually quite often) is an acceptable price to pay for the second amendment right that apparently gives us the right to own military style weapons.

Psyman

We also have one of the lowest average rates of pay as well, so maybe we just can't afford the ammo?

Bob

If you can work for home, then definitely!

If you need a job...then it depends.

Southern Maine, is relatively expensive for what it is, but it's got bigger cities and things to do without feeling quite so closed off that northern Maine can do.

Great place for kids to grow up though and your money does go a long way there for the most part.

Hotscot

Any child free neighbourhoods?

But yes work from home, would need good grocery shops, good communications etc
And intelligent people around me...no hicks...

Pulaski

That is not the best piece of advice I have seen here on BE.

Steerpike

Another great post that explains that it is the people and the immediate surroundings that matter.

Steerpike

Yet another, similar story - 5 years ago I was required to transfer to AZ in order to keep my job. I had never liked the place, and felt it was a gun-infested, republican-dominated sh*thole. I ended up loving the place, and now that that job is over, and I'm primarily back in the Bay Area, I'm doing all I can to keep a foothold there so I can continue to spend time there. I currently fly down once a month to service some clients there and thoroughly enjoy it. I've found good restaurants, fantastic hiking trails, and a handful of people I like. I've found that I can ignore the guns and the republicans ...

Bob

Groceries are easy, Hannafords is generally a decent grocery store and a lot of towns have markets, though usually in the summer. Does suffer from seasonal pricing quite a bit.

Communications, the usual fare, though the boonies will lack decent mobile phone coverage and limits your cable options a chunk.

People, from all walks of life. If you avoid aroostook county and anywhere near Fort Kent kind of thing, you'd be okay.

Lakes area around Poland/Windham/Casco etc are nice, Portland/Kennebunkport is lovely and has the small city vibe, then you've got the coastal towns along Rt1 such as Rockland/Belfast/Camden which are picture postcard type towns and great places to live.

I'd avoid living in a mill town though because paper mills, when it's raining out, or humid, they smell horridly like the worst smell ever. And Bucksport...because you immediately feel like a hick as soon as you cross the bridge to it, but across the river is the original Fort Knox, which is cool and Verona Island in between is fun. Has Bangor a short hop north, Portland not to far to the south with Augusta, the capital in between.