I suspect the location makes a huge difference. I've seen this (well, heard it) in small village areas, but it obviously is far less common in bigger towns.

If that is the case, we simply don't try to answer with our mouths full, just make a "thank-you" nod, which is perfectly valid. And you normally don't say that to each and everyone in a restaurant, normally only to the people of the table next to you when you are seating down or to the table closest to the door when you are leaving, and choose a quiet table so they will actually hear you. In my family for instance we only say it once when we are leaving, as if saying that we wish that people on the other table eat well too, it doesn't matter whether they are eating or still waiting. I think it is sociable to talk to people you don't know, rather than ignoring everyone.

In bars we also greet the first person we see, and with a general greeting if we don't know the person. If we are in a more or less quiet place people will take the general greeting (buenas, buenas tardes/noches...) as directed to them too; and if it's noisy they won't notice you anyway unless you know someone and talk directly to them.

"Spanish upper class"... they are becoming as tight *PEEP* as yours... I don't know if you are upper class and prefer the coldness, distance and silent criticisms that a simple look can transmit, but personally I don't belong to them neither go to particularly elitists restaurants, so I like a bit of human interaction, gracias.

I'm not sure whether it is a class thing or not, but it is a bit of a misconception to think that Spanish people have always been liberal carefree child-loving warm people. Maybe in the villages and in the poor areas of the South they have because that's all they had.

However, you ask older people who have been brought up in the cities or in families with means. Pre-democracy Spanish parents were strict and education was even stricter. There were strict rules and social norms that children and people needed to abide by. The Spanish ruling classes have always been uptight.

I completely and utterly agree.

Moreover, people used to be thanked several times per minute, like hostess serving coffee or issuing documentation, return a nod with a smile instead of 'de nada' or 'a ti/usted' and it is absolutely correct.

I am as Spanish as you are......and I was just saying what the concensus seems to be when it was discussed on the TVl, I did not actually give my personal opinions as toif it is good or bad manners.

JLFS: I know that you are Spanish, we are not fighting about being "more" Spanish than the other or anything like that! It was clear that you were commenting about something you heard on the radio and not giving your opinion. I only gave my opinion about this topic as a Spanish person and connected with what I think of Spanish and British upper classes... that was my use of "your and you", for the British people here. I simply affirmed that in my case I do prefer some human contact, even if it's only an informal way of wishing well to others. Equally, as per another thread with you informing me again of your being Spanish, please do not take my answers as directed to you only, as I normally put the name of the person when I intend something to be only for them. Most of the time I simply write for whoever is reading, not for a particularly person.

So, my family and I, as non members of any upper class, Spanish or British, will continue wishing others in Spain to have a good meal, a good day, etc etc. This is of course a personal option and I'm not getting into whether is good or bad manners, for us it's simply normal and we receive the same greetings even from people we don't know. I don't do this in England as I know that people there normally prefer not to acknowlodge others unless they know them.

What is your personal opinion? I'm just explaining what we do in my family, but obviously it really depends on places and individuals.

Believe me... and again talking only about me and my family: we are NOT child-loving people... there is nothing more annoying that bad mannered children in restaurants or similar. When I go out I try to avoid family places and if I see little kids in the restaurant I was going to eat I simply leave before sitting down. I cannot afford going out and having nice meals every day, so when I do I simply don't want it to be spoilt by silly children who have not been educated to behave in public by their silly parents.

Of course, when I've already started my meal and cannot scape I can only wish a pea or something to go the wrong way so they have to leave the place quickly. Not that I wish anything BAD to happen... I just want them to leave and not take their children out until they have taught them some manners.

If looks could kill... people would remember me instead of Herod!

Is this being grumpy or not???

My grandparents, from Madrid city, not particularly upper class, more upper middle and middle, but for what I know the following was normal in all classes. They greeted and were greeted in restaurants, bars etc. That was actually part of their culture: they were very sociable to others, as socially bad manners were not acceptable and would bring disgrace to the family. But they were also very very strict to my parents, who used a very formal language to speak to them: padre, madre and usted. As you said, manners were quite strict, but I don't think this happened only in Spain. Younger people everywhere is far more relaxed than their parents could be at their age... and more than one would have got a good slap if they were as disrespectful to their parents as many young people and kids are now.

In my case, my parents were quite strict about manners and what's right and wrong, but at the same time left us make our own decisions and get our own opinions. Education at school was strict, I remember always using the usted, being sent to the corner, visiting the Directora and being sent out to the pasillo quite often, even being hit with a rule and being thrown things, being made to write sentences one hundred times... but never for bad manners at school. Those were the times,

For me it simply depends on your own manners and how you educate your children; if you actually have time to do it or simply leave them go wild. If they see you greeting people they will eventually do it themselves.

M personal opinion is, at the risk of sounding like a bad mannered/tempered B**tard, that I dont say it myself, and it sort of gets on my nerves, when I am eating/having a conversation with people I choose to be with and get interrupted by someone that I dont know from Adam shooting a throwaway comment in my direction.

Do they really give a stuff if I enjoy my meal or not?

Maybe it is because I am not a fluffy bunny, tree hugger type person.

And when Brits say it quite frankly is just sounds so strange and dare I say quite forced.

Yet in some strange way maybe, because they understand the significance of what they're saying (hang on, that's a bit of an assumption) and simply the act of saying it could be problematic, theirs might just be the more sincere?? Only a suggestion...........

I have to agree with Evamar, I do actually like children (I'm going to be granny for the 1st time at Xmas)
However, I too can remember when children were brought up to be respectful and my boys (30 and 27) often got a slap for being rude or cheeky. I never took them out to public grown up places until they had learned how to behave.
Today I look at some of the youngsters around my village and I am shocked at the behaviour and language that they use.
There is a couple who's garden backs onto mine, they have a little toddler who is naturally inquisitive and the LANGUAGE they use to her is abominable.. lot's of effing and blinding and it's constant. and I'm sure their dogs thinks his name is C***.
Yet I daren't say anything as the last person (a little old lady) who dared nearly got run over by their van and then for no apparent reason her daughter was beaten up and put in hospital.

That is what you think, could that be like the Brits who aplogise when someone wangs you one with a shopping trolley.

The one who get hurt usually says sorry too, what does that mean? Does it mean sorry fo rbeing in the way,or sorry that a plonker like you bumped in to me and nearly ripped my leg off.

Just another throwaway comment most of the time.

Is this in Spain

No sorry, it's in a very upmarket stockbroker belt village in Surrey England, because it's all surrounded by beautiful green belt it's slowly being over run with travellers, (not Gypsies, believe me there IS a difference.)
These people are commonly known as pikeys, they have no respect for people or property and are the lowest of the low..they steal from the local shops, and cause nothing but trouble and fights in the local pubs, so much so that most of the pubs in the village have gone under or are struggling badly. I certainly don't go out for a drink now, they have a designated site just out of the village, but they still bring their "clans" from all over the country and Ireland to set up camps wherever there is an open gate. they never clear up after they move on. and several of them now have been given much needed houses on the estate behind my house.. My sons have been on the waiting list for 14 years now but these scum just know how to work the system and automatically go to the top of the list. They bring their noisy dogs and unruly kids to run amok. The garden behind mine is now housing a Duck of all things in the tiniest of cages and no one will do anything about the poor thing for fear of reprisals..
Rant over

I take it you've been to the council and the local press?

I did mention it to the council officer, they made them get rid of one dog,, but even that's back now. The council, police well, everyone is scared of them... they are a vindictive bunch.