Thats why I stick to cider...

A wise choice.

It's the Fosters drinkers that get on my wick.

The majority of them are mindless morons and chavs who make the Sun readers seem quite intelligent by comparison, in addition they are the worst for littering the countryside with lager cans and take-away garbage.

Time to open up the old gun cabinet and declare open season on them methinks.

Well, you can save yourself a 24-hour flight to the other side of the world. they won't want you there.

There are many who were brought up on the real stuff, that may not agree with you. It's everyone to their own taste and I don't think that all real ales should necessarily be classified as sh!t, just because they don't match your own requirements.
Cellars have been the traditional and best beer storage locations for hundreds of years for very good reasons.
I doubt any dust or muck that may be down there is much worse than the floor behind the counter of many Spanish bars and in any event it has no access to the contents of the barrel.
As long as the pipes are maintained properly there should be no great problem.
I've come across much more bad beer and lager in Spanish bars without cellars, than I've ever come across in traditional UK pubs.

Oh and you know that larger is treated in EXACTLY the same way right?

Well I have no great desire to honour them with my presence.
What most Aussies know about beer and lager you could write on the back of a postage stamp.
If it's ice cold and virtually tasteless they drink it, period.

Have you actually ever tasted any Australian beers? If so which ones, and please don't just go and Google names, I mean really actually tasted any.

It's not. It comes in a sealed keg. Christ. you should know that.

A sealed metal keg... yeah... so does real ale now... in a sealed metal keg, normally a nine pin, that is metal... and sealed...

Certainly none that were memorable and definitely none of the massed produced garbage that floods the World markets, most of which has little or no flavour, apart from a few that taste like something akin to month old washing-up water.

Well, that's about as real as a deep-fried Mars bar or Spanish whiskey.

So thats a no. You really should try broadening your palate, Coopers do a sparkling ale that is, in my humble opinion, a revelation, and I could easily name half a dozen nice beers from Australia and about the same from New Zealand.

Its not the container that makes it real ale, its the manufacturing process and ingredients... I thought you would know that.

It's not a no. It simply means that any I have tried have been instantly forgettable.
Not so sure about sparkling ale, doesn't sound quite right somehow and in any event I despise most over-gassed up beers and lagers.