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Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits

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:rofl::rofl:...this is makin my night...you silly twats :rofl:

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Every continent has a city called Rome

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Jack Bauer once stepped into quicksand. The quicksand couldn't escape and nearly drowned.

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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings

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Kissing can aid in reducing tooth decay. This is because the extra saliva helps in keeping the mouth clean

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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he is pushing the earth down.

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The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

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If you stop smoking and drinking,you wont live longer,it will just feel like it

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I really do believe that Tit is a serial killer :blink:

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You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted

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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour

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Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.

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Night all!;):wub:

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If your shower head won't unscrew, wrap it in kitchen towel that's been soaked in vingegar and then secure it with cling film. Leave it for a few hours or over night and all the limescale should be gone.

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Night, poohead! :p

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Night,

What an educational evening.......:lol:

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Matts aurburn hair is likely to grow half inch a month before he needs his blonde retouch tint , so Im told???:D
best to get it done proffesionally Matt nice to look good:rofl:

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Don't buy a Dachshund. Their amusing sausage shape means they take 50% longer to stroke than other dogs.

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STOP IT

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Love you soooooooooooooooooooooo much Debs :wub:

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Eh?

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are you a ginge?

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he can't remember;)

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nope, blonde.

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:sneaky:I think you is having a pants on fire moment..

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definitely blond.....


I'm actually one of them strange people who don't understand what the issue is with Ginger people....... I have had a couple of ginger girl friends and they were absolutely great, in fact, one of them was, without any hesitation, the dirtiest filthiest horn dog I have ever encountered in my damned life!

There are a few pics circulating of me on 'tinternet, although only an old one is on here, so anyone who has seen them will know........

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I have no probs with ginners:(.....I only remember the pic of you in the hat :sneaky:

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Mornin lady :wub:

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....... oh and the other thing is...... I haven't had a bloody hair on me head now for about 7 years, still, it could have been worse than being bald, god could have given me a small penis too!

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<roll eyes>

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Look, you and I both know that you are only talking to me until Ka Ora or someone else less boring than me turns up, so lets just try and work with me eh??!!

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So true,I wonder how big his penis is??....well??? you should know :sneaky:

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I have, sadly, never met the guy, but I did once offer to landscape his garden for nothing, but he was so freaked out by my incessant pestering via PM and e-mail to see naked pictures of himself that he respectfully told me to fooooook off.

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:rofl: Yeah,the man has taste....oooo and guns:wub:,he is torturing me at the moment tho,he seems to have put them in the cupboard:(

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You see, this is the problem with women, I have guns too, and bloody great ones at that!

Huh!

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Well you've never flashed them at me have you?....so how would I know?,men!!!! we're not bleedin clairvoyant ..

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Some of us don't need to flash our guns all over the place do we!