De Rodriguez.

Instead of getting all het uk and jumping to conclusions and arguing the toss about Spanish phrases, may I suggest that the more "nitpicking" posters keep a more open mind, that way your Spanish might just improve and become as good as my English.

Thanks for joining in and accusing me of being "nasty".

I didn't think this thread had anything to do with my circumstances, until I remembered. For the first two years in our new and strange Spanish place, she went back to the UK on several occasions to work, for anything up to three months at a time.

Not only were we in a Spanish town, but it was also one where Valenciano was widely spoken and my basic knowledge of Castellano wasn't much help. On one occasion there was a hiccup on her return date, and she stayed away for much longer than expected.

I got to the stage where I had to seriously consider whether she was going to return at all. I finally came to the conclusion that I would stay, even without her. I had eight Spanish neighbours, all couples and one elderly widow, and the concern they showed for me was touching. We were barely able to communicate, and their concern grew whenever another dateline for my partner's return passed.

When she finally returned, the neighbours turned up at the door with flowers. If she hadn't returned, I think I would be totally fluent in Valenciano by now.

I for one would feel priveleged if that did happen - but it gets difficult in your 60's to have to relink the patch cords in your brain when J = H, B = V, except in the following circumstances, its worse than English

The poor lady has asked for advice. she has terrible Rheumatoid Arthritis and hopes that a move to this warm climate will ease her pain. Unfortunately her husband can't come for eighteen months, but they have decided that the best thing for her is to come now. As if this isn't bad enough, some of you have attempted to put a doubt in her mind by suggesting that as soon as she's out of the country, he'll be off having affairs. SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
This is supposed to be a forum to help people. Some of you seem to take great delight in adding to their troubles.

I think you're missing the humour and lets not forget, as I've pointed out already on here, alot of us have husbands who commute and work away, so all possible issues that may crop need to be addressed.

Jo

yes, including me - & you!!

it is something to consider - especially if you're not used to living apart


it was a light-hearted comment - & I'm sure if the OP was upset she'd have said something by now & the comments removed

There is nothing to consider, they don't have any option, and if you think there is any humour in Rheumatoid Arthritis, there is something wrong with you!

Comments removed? You can't take back what has already been said, the damage is done!!!!

er - no

you're not to know - but I have mobility problems myself

I use sticks pretty often & a wheelchair on occaision

I also live in Spain & my husband works away a lot, so I reckon I have more in common than most here with the OP

- check my previous posts if you don't believe me

Then you of all people should have been more sensative in your posts!

& if I can joke about it.........................

That's you! Until you know the person that you are laughing at (in this case a new member seeking help), caution and sensativity should have been the order of the day! She is in a very stressful situation and the fact that she hasn't replied speaks volumes!

I'm not laughing at her - and I don't think anyone else is either

you are probably making it worse - if indeed she is upset by it - by prolonging it

I'm prolonging it? It takes two to tango!
As I said, the fact that she hasn't replied speaks volumes!

The forum is an open one so posts are directed at whoever reads it. Living in Spain on your own when you know no one, speak the language or understand the culture isnt easy. So pointing out all the possible issues, emotions and pitfalls is the right thing to do from both sides. You cant just point out the nice things and ignore anything you dont want to to hear. I personally am more concerned that the OP will need to get a carer if she has disabilities and that should be something she needs to look into fairly quickly - as for either of their infidelities that may or may not occur, then that too needs to be looked at as a potential possibility and not swept under the carpet as ofensive

Jo