Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
#17
Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
or him - when the cat's away the mouse will play
actually she could take advantage of that one too!!!
#20
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Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Spain 4th feb 08 - October 11, now flits batck and forth from sunny Worthing
Posts: 1,576
Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
There are a few odf us, including lynnx who live in Spain while our husbands work away, so know the pitfalls of being on our own here! My main concern would be that the OP would need to get a carer in if she is receiving DLA - thats the allowance to enable her to pay for assistance. But hopefully there will be agencies around. Apart from that, its however she wants it to be - boring without a job would be my first thought
Jo xxx
Jo xxx
#21
Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
There are a few odf us, including lynnx who live in Spain while our husbands work away, so know the pitfalls of being on our own here! My main concern would be that the OP would need to get a carer in if she is receiving DLA - thats the allowance to enable her to pay for assistance. But hopefully there will be agencies around. Apart from that, its however she wants it to be - boring without a job would be my first thought
Jo xxx
Jo xxx
as they got older though - & it wasn't just that they were at school all day, but out with friends after school, too - yes, I got bored & started working again
I could only cope with so much time drinking coffee with the 'yummy mummies'
but that's just me
actually -none of the yummy mummies I knew from back then are still here........................us workers are though
#22
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Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
In defence of the poster that mentioned while the cats away, it is all to easy to forget that you are in a relationship while the other person is a 1000miles away.
I know I had it happen to me. It takes a strong relationship, a lot of trust and the knowledge that you are BOTH working to a single goal, if either of you are not committed to the move then PLEASE rethink.
So many other halves say ok to an idea when in reality it is only the dream of one person and all to often it leads to conflict and with the distance it is easier to forget that you are a we not simply an I"2. I ended up an I"" when I thought we were a "we" because the dream turned out to be just my dream and not his as well. He ended up talking to a woman in the states and went further than 1000miles he went to a whole new continent.
I know I had it happen to me. It takes a strong relationship, a lot of trust and the knowledge that you are BOTH working to a single goal, if either of you are not committed to the move then PLEASE rethink.
So many other halves say ok to an idea when in reality it is only the dream of one person and all to often it leads to conflict and with the distance it is easier to forget that you are a we not simply an I"2. I ended up an I"" when I thought we were a "we" because the dream turned out to be just my dream and not his as well. He ended up talking to a woman in the states and went further than 1000miles he went to a whole new continent.
#23
Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
In defence of the poster that mentioned while the cats away, it is all to easy to forget that you are in a relationship while the other person is a 1000miles away.
I know I had it happen to me. It takes a strong relationship, a lot of trust and the knowledge that you are BOTH working to a single goal, if either of you are not committed to the move then PLEASE rethink.
So many other halves say ok to an idea when in reality it is only the dream of one person and all to often it leads to conflict and with the distance it is easier to forget that you are a we not simply an I"2. I ended up an I"" when I thought we were a "we" because the dream turned out to be just my dream and not his as well. He ended up talking to a woman in the states and went further than 1000miles he went to a whole new continent.
I know I had it happen to me. It takes a strong relationship, a lot of trust and the knowledge that you are BOTH working to a single goal, if either of you are not committed to the move then PLEASE rethink.
So many other halves say ok to an idea when in reality it is only the dream of one person and all to often it leads to conflict and with the distance it is easier to forget that you are a we not simply an I"2. I ended up an I"" when I thought we were a "we" because the dream turned out to be just my dream and not his as well. He ended up talking to a woman in the states and went further than 1000miles he went to a whole new continent.
however...........
yes, it's true - it takes a VERY strong relationship to cope with long distance
sadly, I know quite a few relationships which have split due to distance - obviously not just the distance - but that's a factor
my OH has always worked away - since long before we had the kids - before we got married in fact - it's what we are used to & it works for us
but it's not for everyone
Last edited by lynnxa; Jul 4th 2011 at 6:15 pm.
#24
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Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
My apologies to the OP.
#25
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Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
I'm not sure it necessarily means that there will be any infidelity, just that the husband is left alone at home whilst the wife is away.
rodríguez.
(De Rodríguez, apellido).
1. m. coloq. Hombre casado que se queda trabajando mientras su familia está fuera, normalmente de veraneo. Anda, está, se queda de rodríguez.
(De Rodríguez, apellido).
1. m. coloq. Hombre casado que se queda trabajando mientras su familia está fuera, normalmente de veraneo. Anda, está, se queda de rodríguez.
#26
Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
grass widow - which was one of my suggestions - can just be a woman whose husband is away temporarily - like me
and there's no infidelity in our relationship
#27
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: In the middle of 10million Olive Trees
Posts: 12,053
Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
as the poster who originated the question about dogs, as discussed with Rosemary via PM, I had clocked that the OP had made a similar request on
URL="http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=722485"]http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=722485[/URL]
where a number of current posters made comment, and 2 lurchers were mentioned, but not mentioned in this posting.
So I asked the question as many rentals are strictly Non Perro, and could be a major sticking point when looking for a property.
Now please, stop fighting each other, flame me if you want - my cojons are brass plated and go back to providing assistance to the OP who is going to need buckets full of support and assistance
regards
URL="http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=722485"]http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=722485[/URL]
where a number of current posters made comment, and 2 lurchers were mentioned, but not mentioned in this posting.
So I asked the question as many rentals are strictly Non Perro, and could be a major sticking point when looking for a property.
Now please, stop fighting each other, flame me if you want - my cojons are brass plated and go back to providing assistance to the OP who is going to need buckets full of support and assistance
regards
#28
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: In the middle of 10million Olive Trees
Posts: 12,053
Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
as currently "el Rodriguez" as has been so politely put, a bit of input.
after making a few initial fact-finding trips with a view to retirement in Andalucia, the OH received a job offer in Andalucia we hadnt been expecting and we had a mad scramble to find flat and get her moved out in 3wks. This we saw as a trial as to whether she could exist in a foreign land, tempered by working in an English speaking environment.
Now we have moved el Perro out with her car and a number of personal items I am left to pack up the house and prepare it for renting (only view turned out to be buy-to-letter who wanted to knock 25% off price for guarantee to complete)
There can be worries on either side as to what is happening, especially when OH gets invited to things by the very amiable locals - who I have met.
What is good for us is we see our situation as a means to an end - being together.
The first few weeks were difficult as our only communication was text and 3mins fone call on mobile each day.
Now we have landline and Skype with video cam and a pc at each end so can and do talk for over an hour every day. also each have UK and Spanish mobiles which we use dependent on who is where to keep the costs down. Regular trips on Ryanair or Easyjet can sometimes make things worse.
It all comes down to confidence in the relationship and your partner. If there is any doubt on either side then it probably will go belly up - whether in Spain, Singapore or Scunthorpe.
rgds
after making a few initial fact-finding trips with a view to retirement in Andalucia, the OH received a job offer in Andalucia we hadnt been expecting and we had a mad scramble to find flat and get her moved out in 3wks. This we saw as a trial as to whether she could exist in a foreign land, tempered by working in an English speaking environment.
Now we have moved el Perro out with her car and a number of personal items I am left to pack up the house and prepare it for renting (only view turned out to be buy-to-letter who wanted to knock 25% off price for guarantee to complete)
There can be worries on either side as to what is happening, especially when OH gets invited to things by the very amiable locals - who I have met.
What is good for us is we see our situation as a means to an end - being together.
The first few weeks were difficult as our only communication was text and 3mins fone call on mobile each day.
Now we have landline and Skype with video cam and a pc at each end so can and do talk for over an hour every day. also each have UK and Spanish mobiles which we use dependent on who is where to keep the costs down. Regular trips on Ryanair or Easyjet can sometimes make things worse.
It all comes down to confidence in the relationship and your partner. If there is any doubt on either side then it probably will go belly up - whether in Spain, Singapore or Scunthorpe.
rgds
#29
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 882
Re: Moving to Spain ahead of Partner, help please
I come on here to offer advice, not to respond to unjustified smart alec personal comments.