Domino

regrettably that is what happened in Portugal some 4 years ago and a little girl went missing whilst her parents had a "quiet meal"
will it take a repetition of that to make people understand ??

morsehorse

Bless you Domino,he was and still is a responsible father!!
I am the wicked stepmother.God help em xx
Jacqueline xx

soontobeexcamposoler

I agree with everyone about the playing of football around restaurants and have never disputed that. Unfortunately people were quick to complain and said something had to be done but were not interested in helping or at least the majority were not. People generalised that all the parents when according to some of the posts they knew who the guilty ones were, whether thats true or not I dont know. Any parent that leaves their child alone deserves to feel the full force of the law. Any parent or guardian that doesnt take full responsibility of the child in their care should be put right.

One other thing I did notice is that signs are soon to be put up about ball games which can be enforced by the police should the children ignore them. Now this could be a good thing as maybe it would deter some of the drink drivers who could also be classed as a menace and potentially a killer menace. Now having been to a few of the charity / local group fundraisers I have seen many people take advantage of the cheap drink on offer on these nights and yet quite happily get into their car and drive home, 2 of these people I noticed were complaining about the football. Now there was a post about that too which related to a lady that has crashed her car twice through drink driving and continues to drink and drive, funny how no-one really commented on that.
Who is the real danger?
Stop the football around the bars I agree with that and so do you. Stop the drink drivers I agree with that.....do you?
Rules are constantly talked about from illegal cars to unregistered businesses but the one that would seem to cause the most inconvenience to my generation is funnily enough ignored.

Chiclanagir

Jesus playing football around bars - what is this world coming to! As for taking responsibility for the kids - we used to go off for hours on end and come back when it was getting dark with no one worrying about you. Now it is moan, moan, moan about children. Sad.

soontobeexcamposoler

I think another annoyance is the fact that yes Camposol had problems due to builder and council etc and now with a new local government already things had started to happen that was positive for the area. A small train which connected each sector (it did get denounced), a weekly market which has proved very popular (that too got denounced) and there are now plans to start on the roads and general structure.
We have had five years there and despite the initial problems we loved it. Things just took a turn for the worse recently.
All in all though we have made some very good friends there and we will continue to visit them and I hope that the few disgruntled people will just let the area develop.

It does have potential.

Domino

irrespective of the petty rights and wrongs of all this
the playing of footballs next to people having a meal should be banned by the parents before the bars and their customers.

I will never understand people, they shout for their human rights without understanding what those rights are, nor that the rights of the majority must take priority over the rights of the individual. Otherwise anarchy ensues.

It matters not whether it is in Camposol or anywhere else, my 5 Laws of Parenthood* could apply

1. Parents should take responsibility for the safety of their children
2. Parents should take responsibility of the actions of their children
3. Parents should ensure their children do not inconvenience others by action or inaction
4. Parents should chastise and withdraw rights from children who do not respect the rights of others to enjoy a peaceful life
5. Parents should understand their child is never the perfect being they so volubly accalim them to be

*my apologies to Arthur C Clarke for stealing his 5 Laws of Robotics.

Rosemary

Totally correct. I worked in this field for many years and so many parents would ask me find out why their children were badly behaved and wanted me to effect a change but were unable to see that it was down to their bad parenting. So many parents were unable to accept that they needed to change in order to change their childrens behaviour. Sad but very true.

Rosemary

Domino

Rosemary you understand the reasons for it.
Children that are brought up badly grow up badly and pass it all on to their children who are brought up badly...........
a vicious cycle which leads to an increasing number of feral children.
its not that child but will go back a couple of generations or so.

parent(s) go ballistic when a child is taken into care (is that care for the child or care for the rest of the community ? - a very fine dividing line)
its always someone else's fault, never theirs. what they dont understand is it is their parents fault

running parenting classes is no use, the only ones who attend will be those who don't need it

Rosemary

Had one dad who became very angry when I suggested that he needed to set the boundaries for his son and not be taking him to mental health for medication.

Rosemary

stevesainty

This is a generalisation, although there is a distinct ring of truth to it. We all strive as new parents to give our children at least as good an upbringing as ours if not a whole lot better. If we had strict parents then we would tend to give our children more freedom, if we were poor then we would strive to give our children more 'things' and so on.
Remember also, children are not brought up in isolation, they have friends and visit friends' families, they attend school/college/university (mostly before they have a family of their own). They must observe different ways of behaving and have the ability to reason and choose the way to behave.
IMHO the most important aspect of being a parent is to give love and attention, praise where it is due, punishment when it is deserved, security and support.
I am one of ten and we were not very well off, my father was a labourer and my mother took in washing and would knit things for other people. I am sure we were all loved but we were never given outward signs of love and affection. There was lots of violence between my parents and rows and swearing. We children were not spared a good hiding either. What we had in abundance though were lessons from my mother, how to behave in public, how to be clean, how to be polite, how to cook, clean, knit, sew, look after children.
I chose all the best bits from my upbringing and passed them on to my two daughters. I worked hard to earn enough to make sure they wanted for nothing without 'spoiling' them. They both know that I will always be there for them if needed.
These are the important things, but still are not guaranteed to produce 'model citizens'. Children are individuals and will choose their own destiny.

Chiclanagir

Are we talking about children playing football here or are they putting graffiti on the walls, knocking down old people, smashing shop windows? Children do not need to be supervised 24/7 as long as they are not causing damage or hurting anyone or anything or being abusive. If they are just playing, let them be. Children need to play and explore away from their parents. As a child we used to go off in the summer holidays for hours and hours. No mobile phones then to find out where we were. We were enjoying ourselves building camps, going on the beach and yes playing football and cricket.

What do your Spanish friends and neighbours think?

jackytoo

Nothing wrong with football in the appropriate place. Though it seems as if in this case they are playing outside a restaurant. Diners don't want to be sitting there wondering if a ball is going to land on the table, nor do they want to eat to a chorus of screaming shouting kids.

My Mother was hit in the eye with a football, looked dreadful for ages, she had to have hospital treatment.

Domino

come on man, either I am wrong, it is a generalisation or it has a ring of truth.

my father was a labourer and when he died screaming with cancer left a princely sum below £1000. my mother used to work as a waitress at posh people's dinner parties until midnight, died screaming of cancer and left him broken hearted.
if I should have done anything wrong I got at least a clip round the ear before having to apologise. Anyone who had a policeman come to visit was really in for it.

back in those days we learnt that when dad says dont touch the fire it's hot that he was right and only did it the once to check.
we learnt the bad things but suppressed them and concentrated on the good things.
one of my neighbouring kids from what was known as a "difficult family" became a senior manager at Midland Bank.

with the current benefits from cradle to grave they are learning that they can get away with everything and anything and it will cost them nothing. I regularly see kids calling at the pub to get a quid from dad so they can have chips for tea. because mum never cleans up at home they just throw their rubbish on the ground. I saw one guy banging on the door of the bookies trying to cash in his winnings so he could give the kids some money for fish and chips, before going back in the pub.

if you look under the ornamental stone you will find that what I am saying isnt wrong, it isnt a generalisation it is just an observation from someone who could have gone the same way himself but had parents who took an interest in me and my sister, supported us, clipped our ear if we were rude or misbehaved. but were there for us with everything they had if we needed it.

rgds

stevesainty

I'm sorry Domino, if you thought I was disagreeing with you, I wasn't. I agree with all the things you have posted. I was just saying that when people grow up they can choose which path they take in the behavior stakes. As you say, a child from a difficult family became a bank manager, he chose to modify his childhood behavior.
The nature or nurture argument only holds true in the formative years of a child. I know of many instances as the bank manager example, I also know of many instances where children from 'good' families have gone off the rails and become no hopers and layabouts, a drain on society.
I am not saying that all people can get a good job, or even any job; I am saying that they can choose how they behave in private and in public. I believe in treating people in such a way that I would like to be treated. It may be old fashioned in today's society but that is the behavior path that I have chosen.

jackytoo

Domino your area sounds shite, no wonder you want to leave. Did you never consider moving before