Very true. Pity we don't have a word for friends and real friends like the Spanish do "Un amigo mio" or "mi amigo". There are a lot of hangers on in ex-pat life, I would rate them peripheral friends, totally false and kissy kissy Dislike the clingers, you go out to dinner with them one Friday and they want to arrange a time for the following week, also the ones who expect to be included in everything and take umbrage if they see you out with another couple.

I would say we had fifty friends and about 6 REAL ones. Some seem to rate their success by how many people they can invite, one couple used to invite the people who had done work for them as if it were a status symbol to have so many "friends"

We have had a lucky escape from a couple like that, they really started to be a pain in the backside.
We (according to them) were their wonderful best friends, now they are two more "best friends" down the line and it's obvious that the other two couples got just as sick of their overpowering attention as we did.

We have always been very selective about who we call friends!
Back in the UK there are six that hold that status after a lifetime there, here after six years there are many that we are friendly with but there is only one couple that we think of as true friends, they are the sort that you have an instant connection to and we all know our friendship will last a lifetime no matter where we might all end up.

You are both so right, we tend to hold back when meeting new people for fear that they will turn out to be the clingy types, having met such people before and found it very difficult to extricate ourselves. Sometimes you have to resort to being downright rude which is unpleasant.

I also don't understand people who, if not invited to a social occasion at someone's house, will confront the hosts and say they are very upset about it, and what have they done to offend (yes, I've met them as well!). I would not dream of doing that, who someone invites to their own house is their business and not mine.

Someone I knew seemed to be everywhere we socialised. No one appeared to actually like her, she was pushy and bossy, but her Husband was nice. He died and at the funeral she introduced me as her best friend She latched on to me and feeling a bit sorry for her I got sucked in. Because she didn't drive I was used as an unofficial taxi service even though her Son lived near by. Non urgent trips too, stuff such as should we have a run to Malaga I wanted to look at....Other times she would drop in and stay for 2 hours.

By the time we left Spain I had distanced myself a lot but not enough as she was persistent. When my Spanish mobile ran out I thought that would be the end of it. Had an e-mail from removal company that a woman had contacted them to ask for our address and phone no in the UK should they pass it on. Stupidly I said just the phone no. She rang and announced (not asked) that she wanted to stay for a few days, could I pick her up at Gatwick and at the end of her stay run her to Chichester to her brothers. I declined, said I was too busy...never heard from her again

A former expat who I have known for a few years but never trusted now wants to give me power of attorney over his complicated Spanish affairs. He is back in the UK and vowed never to return now that the Spanish taxman is hot on his trail.

From his own accounts he has been cheated by his former Spanish lawyers, estate agents, Gestors and all manner of other people, and I'm inclined to believe him.

I've given myself a few days to consider and don't really know the answer. I've got enough trouble looking after my own affairs.

I've been caught out before by domineering friends.... who suck up all the time... and expect special treatment.... hopefully I have learned to handle it better...

In my case both the suck-ee and the suck-er were both suckers!

Jon

Be very wary or you will be the one being blamed for all of his problems.

Rosemary

I was just about to say the same as Rosemary....
He has complained about everyone else and I suspect you won't be any different, so take care and tell him you don't have the time to do it.

So basically he wants you to work as an unpaid skivvy: sorting out his accounts, tax forms and finance. I can't think of a single reason (being a kind, helpful person notwithstanding ) why anyone would agree to do this. You can bet that soon you'll be on his list of people who have "cheated" him.
Run away ... or tell him you've died.

Well, I thank the last three posters for their valuable advice and I may well take it. When he sat across from me a few days ago and told me he trusted me more that any of his Spanish advisers, I felt somehow obliged not to say No on the spot, maybe I should have done.

Just to add, he employed two separate lawyers and a whole bunch of other advisers to deal with the sale of his three Spanish businesses four years ago. He lost a small fortune along the way and returned home, skint, but thinking that his expensive advisers had dealt with all of his Spanish affairs.

They hadn't. They never even de-registered him from his tax obligations or anything else. And he still owns two houses in Spain. And his wife has left him. And until last week he didn't even know what an embargo was.

I feel as if I'm throwing him to the wolves.

Well for someone with three businesses and two houses he appears to have been living here with his head buried in the sand.
Most people with half a brain know quite a lot about how things work here before they even make the move, and if they don't there are a multitude of sites on the Internet that will nanny them and hold their hand through it.

Make your excuses and run.....perhaps his wife knows a lost cause when she sees one.

this guy ran businesses ??
from what you are saying obviously not very successfully and IMHO it is obvious why

sorry but I am in the Run camp

Mind boggling.

I understand what you say but I go along with the OPs.
Sounds like a huge can of worms to me.

Discretion is the better part of valour.

It looks like I'll have to make that painful telephone call later today. It seems I have inadvertently painted the guy in a bad light, it wasn't like that.

He worked from sunrise until sundown and beyond seven days a week, paid all his dues, put employees on a proper contract, but was foolish enough to try and live an honest business life in a dishonest system he didn't understand.

He's two years away from pension status in the UK, and the whole Spanish business has made him very ill.