sasbear

I have been trying to get my mate to stop smoking for years now, and she always has an excuse - she sees it as a valid reason and not an excuse.

She has crohns and says it helps to stop the inflamation and whn she has tried to stop her Crohns flares up badly.

She also says that she has read statistics that prove that smokers come round quicker in the recovery room after having surgery.

Can this be true? I am sure she is just validating to herself her reasons for continuing to smoke.

arkon

If she didn't smoke she might be less likley to need surgery in the first place. Her argument is like suggesting a guy wears a condom 24/7 just incase he gets lucky.

Dorothy

Smokers take longer to heal in general. They are more likely to have problems with anaesthetics so I would assume would be more likely to have problems in recovery room. There is absolutely no evidence anywhere that says smoking is good for ANY medical condition. Crohn's is not kept under control by smoking. Your friend has an addiction and is trying to justify it to herself and anyone else willing to listen.

purple rain

You will not be able to 'stop' your friend smoking, she needs to want to stop. Smokers will use any excuse to carry on with their habit, as do alcoholics ect.
I have friends who smoke because it 'stops' them putting on weight, the fact that their skin looks grey and their breath and clothes smell means nothing to them.
You could easily prove that her excuses are not valid, but believe me, she will not listen.
jacqui

sasbear

Thanks - I think I kinda new that - it's just that she is so ill and grey and always hacking away with a cough - why does she continually spout this stuff though - surely she can't really beleive it???

Dorothy

Addicts will tell themselves anything so they don't have to quit.

eddie007

As a born again ex smoker (positively evangelical about not smoking now..) I can vouch for the fact that no one can 'make' anyone else give up...

Post surgical complications are higher amongst smokers... There is plenty of evidence to support this.

But that should be the LAST of her worries..

Subtle hints ... ie not stepping outside with her when in a public place, moving away from her when she lights up, stop visiting her if she smokes in her own home... After all do you want to suffer the effects of passive smoking?

Hows about YOU give up.... trying to persuade her to stop, Its none of your business and if anything the constant nagging/interest in her smoking status creates extra attention, leave it out, lead by example and let her get on with it..

You can't 'save' her, only she can save herself...

purple rain

She probably does know how bad smoking is for her health, it is far easier to carry on smoking than to give up.
What a nice person you are for caring about her so much.
jacqui

Wendy

As a smoker Sarah, I can say if she wants to stop she will and if she doesn't she won't - it's that simple.

I say I want to stop all the time, and part of me does but then there's a bit of me that really enjoys sitting down with a nice cup of tea and a ciggie - so until I stop enjoying it there's not a cat in hell's chance I will stop, whether I'm ill or not.

You're lovely for being worried about her, but you'll probably make her more determined not to stop by telling her to all the time.

sasbear

i don't constantly nag her - and she lives in UK and I am in Oz - but she is my best mate and i do care about her.

She has been so ill recently and she has a 16 year old daughter who s following in her footsteps by smoking.

I know I can't save her - but I wish I could

When I went back to the UK last year - I stayed with her for a couple of days and she smoked outside while I was there - but the house absolutely smelled terribly of smoke. And so did she.

When i see her on msn I alsways say - put down that bloody fag woman!

And when she comments on how ill she is/has been - i tell her to quit smoking and she will feel the benefit.

i know she will only stop when she wants to but she never will want to - and that is so sad.

wishingonastar

I used this excuse also for years as i suffer with stress, however i gave up 7 months ago in preparation for moving to Oz and have found my stress levels and gone right down because im not worried so much about my health anymore.

It is hard to watch someone smoke, however that person wont be able to give up untill they really want to it a hard slog. I had motivation which made it easier for me.

I am sure she will see the light eventually but untill then you will need to just bite your tongue.

LisaD_uk

Try buying your friend The book "Alan Carrs easyway to stop smoking". In order to stop smoking smokers need to realise that its not an enjoyable habit but a plain and simple nicotine addiction. Try smoking one after the other without that cup of tea or coffee or chewing gum after and just see how revolting it actually tastes.
BTW i am a smoker, i was an ex smoker but started again after 3 years for reasons i don't want to go into but i am getting ready to stop again and very much look forward to being free from my nicotine addiction.
Most smokers will justify their addiction any way possible so try getting your friend to read this book if you can. I hope this helps

Vim Fuego

You want to get someone to quit something? (and this means anything, for we all have our vices that strike others as detrimental to our lives ...)

Don't nag them about it.

And for Christ's sake don't buy them a book about stopping unless you want to lose a friend as well.

flowergal

Well guys today is my last day of fagging it!!!!!

There! Iv put it in writing now so I have to do it tomorrow, I have my patches ready and this time Im gonna do it!!! I hope.

Amanda

Ill let you know how Im getting on

mitosblog

substitute fruit juice with chewing gums and candies.

hope this may help