...when you sob at the dry cleaning bill from Sketchleys in the UK...especially as the buggers ignore your hooting from the pavement outside

When discussing with your 8 year old son why you all can`t go back and live in the UK now and you tell him its the Economy that`s bad and he asks what the really rubbish Airplane seats have to do with it!
EXPAT BRAT. What have we done.

When a police car is parked with siren and flashing lights on directly in front of the entrance to the Irish Village at 12.30pm Friday brunch time, simply to spoil everybody's enjoyment. By "everybody" I mean us westerners.

...you're family's coming out for 10 days and you're spoilt for choice of international cuisine of excellent quality and good value, and know that even if you eat out every night you'll still have missed many of the places you wanted to eat at.

and that doesn't happen in the UK right?

Our local rozzers would wait in the car park to collect up the drink drivers.

The final place you have to visit to obtain a death certificate in Dubai is at Al Baraha Hospital - Preventative Medicine Department

.....when 90% of the people you meet act like they're better than you cos they're married to some fool that keeps them in a life of pure indulgence!

When a police car is parked with siren and flashing lights, parked in the shade on the pavement, and the copper is busy texting his mates, whilst leaning back in his seat wearing his mirror aviator shades....

My children have been penning a song about their teenage friends from our old compound in Dubai.....only in Dubai would a song contain such themes as Tiffany nose rings, getting drunk by the pool and vomiting, various beers including Hobgoblin, calling the Milkman when you run out and hoping he's not been arrested.

• Doing u-turns in your car every five minutes doesn't mean you're lost
• You spend the next 5 minutes waiting for the police turn up when friends come to visit and kiss you hello in public
• The supermarket sells vegetables that look like weapons
• You don't see red after the delivery man from IKEA rings you 15 times because he can't find your house
• You understand that insh'allah has a similar meaning to mañana, but without the sense of urgency
• Chrysanthemum Juice and Basil Seed Juice are stocked next to Coke and 7-Up
• You can buy a 35kg bag of Basmati rice in the supermarket

Brain Salad appears on menus (even better when written as Brian Salad)
Shops ask you for change
Hospitals have valet parking

ohhh...the Dewa office in Umm Ramool has valet parking as well....love it.

Not just drive through burger joints, but drive through banks and pharmacies

You can buy Hobgoblin in Dubai?

That's almost a reason to move back there...


N.

Does it have valet queueing? That's what it really needs.........