View Poll Results: Extra-marital affairs
0
17
65.38%
1
0
0%
2
1
3.85%
3+
8
30.77%
Voters: 26. You may not vote on this poll

Be truthful

Old May 8th 2018, 2:44 pm
  #31  
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Default Re: Be truthful

Polls like the one posted are generally bollocks as people aren't truthful when it comes to things like this. I can imagine that many who answered 'no' had done and then lied and more had done but had put it out of their memory and so didn't think they did....
DXB - As for boring engineers and architects.... you obviously just just not in the gossip circle. I work in engineering and know many architects and it'd make even you blush with some of the shit that goes on.
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Old May 8th 2018, 2:49 pm
  #32  
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Default Re: Be truthful

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
I'm quite happy to be in the faithful majority here.

Willingness to play away when you have a wife is just weak.
Doing it when you have kids is destructive and cowardly.

Nothing wrong with shagging a married person though, it's their problem...not yours.
Although currently single, I agree...... When I was in a long term relationship I and living in the US I worked closely with this stunning minx of a chick. We and others partied a lot and she often laid it out on a plate for the taking but I was strong and declined.... Came home after six months and then..........split up with my long term GF a few months later...... the moral of this story is.....

I've still never cheated when in a proper relationship though, whats the point. If you're in it give your all. If you want to go out and have some fun then you obvioulsy shouldn't be in a relationship so do it while single.
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Old May 8th 2018, 2:51 pm
  #33  
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Default Re: Be truthful

Originally Posted by jam25mack View Post
it'd make even you blush with some of the shit that goes on.
Good luck with that.
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Old May 8th 2018, 2:57 pm
  #34  
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Default Re: Be truthful

Originally Posted by jam25mack View Post
Although currently single, I agree...... When I was in a long term relationship I and living in the US I worked closely with this stunning minx of a chick. We and others partied a lot and she often laid it out on a plate for the taking but I was strong and declined.... Came home after six months and then..........split up with my long term GF a few months later...... the moral of this story is.....

I've still never cheated when in a proper relationship though, whats the point. If you're in it give your all. If you want to go out and have some fun then you obvioulsy shouldn't be in a relationship so do it while single.
Exactly mate.

Also, the bravado and bullshit around it is tragic, I bet 99/100 it comes from blokes who think they're cool and worthwhile but are so far from being meaningful that they think it's great to showoff about.

"Hey lads, guess what I did, ****ed someone and my wife doesn't know, but that's good because it'll probably really upset her and cause her a large amount of personal pain"
"Hey lads, guess what I did, ****ed someone and it's helping to keep me and the wife together for the kids, aren't I a good guy"
Whaaaay, pat on the back. Lads lads lads!

****ing tragic.
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Old May 8th 2018, 3:36 pm
  #35  
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Default Re: Be truthful

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Exactly mate.

Also, the bravado and bullshit around it is tragic, I bet 99/100 it comes from blokes who think they're cool and worthwhile but are so far from being meaningful that they think it's great to showoff about.

"Hey lads, guess what I did, ****ed someone and my wife doesn't know, but that's good because it'll probably really upset her and cause her a large amount of personal pain"
"Hey lads, guess what I did, ****ed someone and it's helping to keep me and the wife together for the kids, aren't I a good guy"
Whaaaay, pat on the back. Lads lads lads!

****ing tragic.
and the women?


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Old May 8th 2018, 3:39 pm
  #36  
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Default Re: Be truthful

Originally Posted by Millhouse View Post
and the women?
Are 100% the same.
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Old May 8th 2018, 4:48 pm
  #37  
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Default Re: Be truthful

Originally Posted by weasel decentral View Post
I wasn't saying I was having to lie, it was the married women doing the lying.

I'm sort of with millhouse on this, my experience has been that it seems like the percentage is very high. Certainly 50% or above for men.
For expats, possibly. For those who work permanently in the UK, and don't work/live in a major city, I'd suggest the number is well below 20%.
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Old May 8th 2018, 6:37 pm
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Default Re: Be truthful

Originally Posted by Bahtatboy View Post
For expats, possibly. For those who work permanently in the UK, and don't work/live in a major city, I'd suggest the number is well below 20%.
Good point.

I cheated on a girlfriend in a different city at a party with people from a different college / school. Turns out the girl I pulled's best friend was friends with someone I went to college with and knew my mrs.
Boom.
Few days after, worlds of trouble.

People can't think they'll get away with it?
Is it just an easier way of saying it's over?
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Old May 8th 2018, 9:55 pm
  #39  
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Default Re: Be truthful

"Cosi fan tutte" in the words of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (They all do this.)
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Old May 9th 2018, 4:26 am
  #40  
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Default Re: Be truthful

Originally Posted by jam25mack View Post
DXB - As for boring engineers and architects.... you obviously just just not in the gossip circle. I work in engineering and know many architects and it'd make even you blush with some of the shit that goes on.
That's a good point actually, related to perception also. If you are outside of the 'gossip' circle so to speak then you really don't have an accurate idea of the reality in your workplace.
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Old May 9th 2018, 4:50 am
  #41  
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Default Re: Be truthful

Originally Posted by Bahtatboy View Post
For expats, possibly. For those who work permanently in the UK, and don't work/live in a major city, I'd suggest the number is well below 20%.
divorce rate is 50pct.
50pct of divorces are due to infidelity
theres 25pct right there.

Then there are those that are forgiven, don’t get caught, or simply continue on with a dead marriage. Got to be higher in my opinion.


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Old May 9th 2018, 5:35 am
  #42  
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Default Re: Be truthful

Amazing to see, well a lot more prevalent in years gone by when the wives used to depart for the summer months the amount of wanker`s (Wifes Away No Kids Eating Rubbish) that used to appear in the less salubrious bars (Jockeys etc etc) and try and disappear surreptitiously whilst meeting the chosen one outside (lol)...the divorce rate for expats must be higher!
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Old May 9th 2018, 7:24 am
  #43  
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Default Re: Be truthful

Originally Posted by Millhouse View Post


divorce rate is 50pct.
50pct of divorces are due to infidelity
theres 25pct right there.

Then there are those that are forgiven, don’t get caught, or simply continue on with a dead marriage. Got to be higher in my opinion.
Semantics, perhaps, but are those divorces due to infidelity or is the infidelity a symptom of the marriage already having broken down?
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Old May 9th 2018, 7:51 am
  #44  
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Default Re: Be truthful

Originally Posted by weasel decentral View Post
That's a good point actually, related to perception also. If you are outside of the 'gossip' circle so to speak then you really don't have an accurate idea of the reality in your workplace.
Going back to an earlier post, I commented that based on personal experience with coworkers it'd seem that the infidelity rate was .01%. Of course that was a bit of humour but I also acknowledged that the reality was likely higher. I don't trust my perception to be reflective of the actual truth. I find it intriguing that the three proponents of a high infidelity rate are stubborn in insisting that their perception is accurate when they really don't have anything beyond anecdotal perceptions to back it up. Let's consider their contexts, shall we?

A: Expat investment banker (with all the models and bottles implications that comes with the world of investment banking) and who's lived in the UAE for a decade and is already on marriage #2 and has alluded to being the child of a broken home too.

B. Hard partying and hard drinking engineer who's been a bachelor expat in the UAE for the past 10 years too and seems to jet off on massive stag dos monthly. And was also a club manager in his early life.

C. Construction project manager who bounces from high risk shithole to high risk shithole across the world and a bachelor expat the entire time.

Do you not think that perhaps these three life circumstances would easily distort the perceptions of life realities, including infidelities? Just something to consider.
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Old May 9th 2018, 7:56 am
  #45  
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Default Re: Be truthful

Originally Posted by Millhouse View Post


divorce rate is 50pct.
50pct of divorces are due to infidelity
theres 25pct right there.

Then there are those that are forgiven, don’t get caught, or simply continue on with a dead marriage. Got to be higher in my opinion.


Look at the poll at the top of this thread, Millhouse. Of course it's too small and unscientific a sample size but I still find it telling that 0 people voted for 1 extra-marital affairs, while one voted for 2, and five (!) voted for 3+.

Would that not suggest there's a small but sizeable enough minority who are responsible for most of the infidelities? The divorce rates you referred to surely must include people already on their second and even third marriages and those marriages breaking up for the too common reason of infidelity? That surely distorts the overall figures. Just a thought.
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