DXBtoDOH

https://yougov.co.uk/news/2015/05/27...-admit-affair/

20% is national average in UK. Which seems realistic to me.

I don't know many men who have cheated. At least they don't tell me. But they're decent sorts. While cheaters come in all forms and stripes I'm sure certain personalities are more inclined to cheat, and as personalities attract it may very well be you're just surrounded with the kinds of people who are likely to cheat and that affects your perception of the infidelity situation.

weasel decentral

Yes mate I surround myself with cheaters in work, social life, sports and family

spouse of scouse

You can always rely on the ME crowd to come up with an unusual discussion topic

Millhouse

Out of my 4 closest friends, 3 have. The one that hasn't couldn't if he tried and is too skint to do anything else.

In a wider circle of friends, I'd say that around 60%+ have, of which I know about anyway.

I don't believe females would be much better in those statistics.

DXBtoDOH

Well.... if the poll is correct and only 20% of people have cheated and you personally think it's 50%+ then what explains the discrepancy?

Perception. And perception is always based on your personal observations of the circumstances around you. In my case I work with dull engineers and architects who haven't got the imagination to cheat so it'd be easy for me to claim the infidelity only happens in .01% of the relationships. But that's likely not right either.

Millhouse

You have failed to realize the importance of the word "if" in your opening sentence.

It's high - but the bro code is rarely broken so these things are not widely discussed. I just think you're not being told...

DXBtoDOH

Look at the poll on this thread, Millhouse.

It's (at this moment) surprisingly similar to the YouGov poll.

BE poll: 76% no, 23.5% yes.

YouGov poll: 76% no, 20% yes and 5% won't tell.

Intriguing, isn't it?

UKCityGent

Very true - many things were said and done in various outings but they always remain at the borders !

weasel decentral

It's not perception if I know about it. Also my point was to show my daily life isn't just one circle of people. I have pretty wide and varied friends etc. crossing all facets of life, excluding it seems your dull engineers and architects

Millhouse

Very - it tells me one of two things, either (1) people either chose to not vote when guilty - this represents around 30% of the population, or (2) that the sort of people who vote on internet polls are dull engineers that are not out there having extra-marital affairs. I would pin my guesses on (1) as it's sort of an admission of guilt/judgement which people will try to avoid. As weasel will tell you from his date at the weekend, people in marriages step outside for all sorts of reasons (some justifiable, some not) and that voting or shouting about it is not what they want to do.

Millhouse

I was on a stag-do once where I think we hit 80% over the course of the weekend... 20 people

scot47

Under what circumstances can we commit adultery ? Hmmmmm ?

DXBtoDOH

Sounds like someone trying to rationalise their own circumstances than anything meaningful. It's still simply pure speculation from you and Weasel that the majority have had extra-marital affairs. I'm not really sure why I should take the anecdotal experiences of two random strangers on the internet over a poll by a reputed polling company.

This isn't a battle I wish to fight as it holds little meaning or importance to me. But one should always be ware of the dangers of extrapolating too much from personal anecdotes, which is the trap you and Weasel are falling into. I'll go further and say most of us really do not associate with that diverse a group of people, even those who think they live and work within communities of diverse personalities are, in their own way, subject to the biases and perceptions and prejudices of the kinds of people who naturally gravitate towards communities of diverse personalities, and that reinforces itself, which is also why such people need to be careful before extrapolating too much from anecdotal experiences.

Millhouse

When the female in question is both younger than the male and, importantly, the female partner.

scrubbedexpat141

I'm quite happy to be in the faithful majority here.

Willingness to play away when you have a wife is just weak.
Doing it when you have kids is destructive and cowardly.

Nothing wrong with shagging a married person though, it's their problem...not yours.