My ex wife wants to visit !
Mar 14th 2009, 6:14 am
#46
A rather curious boy
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 5,917
Re: My ex wife wants to visit !
Bangleman, I don't know you at all or your full situation but my tuppence worth is that this situation sounds as if it has the capacity to get messy quickly.
I suggest like some others, that your ex should pay her own flights and get a hotel and you can work it through on more common ground.
If the getting back together conversations start, I think I would have a prearranged marriage counselling appointment at hand. You broke up for a reason and maybe there are still things to discuss or then again maybe not.
Mar 14th 2009, 6:55 am
#47
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7,646
Re: My ex wife wants to visit !
It could mean a 1001 things..............
My ex wife and I are still very good friends, and everything is very amicable between us (probably something to do with the extortionate amount of maintenance I pay her every month ! 
)
Anyway, she keeps asking me if I would mind if she came out for a few days and stayed with me, as she wants to see Dubai, as she has heard how nice it is from my boys when they visit, and said it would be nice to be shown around and for us to chat etc,.
Do you think she just wants a freebie holiday so to speak or by using the phrase 'we could chat', has ideas of us rekindling something ?
It was a traumatic time for both of us when we split up and I dont want to stir up feelings on both sides for that to happen again, but feel guilty saying no to her...
Any ideas ?
)Anyway, she keeps asking me if I would mind if she came out for a few days and stayed with me, as she wants to see Dubai, as she has heard how nice it is from my boys when they visit, and said it would be nice to be shown around and for us to chat etc,.
Do you think she just wants a freebie holiday so to speak or by using the phrase 'we could chat', has ideas of us rekindling something ?
It was a traumatic time for both of us when we split up and I dont want to stir up feelings on both sides for that to happen again, but feel guilty saying no to her...
Any ideas ?
This could be one of the situations where the coldness and detachment of communicating by email works to an advantage.Put down in an email what can be/cannot be on the agenda in terms of 'the chat'.Be direct from a convenient distance.Ask her specifically if she has thoughts of reconciliation.
Ask her speifically if sharing an apartment would cause her any dilemma in regard to intimacy.Ask her specifically if she has any genuine concerns about the boys' visiting you in Dubai.Be as fully informed about her purpose of visit as you can be prior to her intended travel dates then your decision should be clearer and a little easier.
Think first with your head,then your heart and if you must-lastly with what's in your pants
Hope it works out the best way for all
x
Mar 14th 2009, 9:42 am
#48
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 645
Re: My ex wife wants to visit !
Get an idea about what she wants to "chat" about. Maybe she wants the boys to come and live with you.
Mar 14th 2009, 10:13 am
#49
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 23,434
Re: My ex wife wants to visit !
Chatting leads to sex...I tried it...I know...
Mar 14th 2009, 12:46 pm
#50
banned
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 7,611
Re: My ex wife wants to visit !
You and bangleman chat conf??
Mar 14th 2009, 2:02 pm
#51
If I have to explain...
Joined: Sep 2008
Location: Where ever the road takes me
Posts: 3,999
Re: My ex wife wants to visit !
Send her the link to this thread....
Mar 14th 2009, 3:09 pm
#52
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Up on the Ranches not down on the Springs
Posts: 2,109
Re: My ex wife wants to visit !
Lmao, yes send her this thread,
Snowbunny, yes sorry all ex's are witches, stirring cauldrons
I am on wife number 3 and a half now and so I have a covern of them behind me.
Its 3.5 because I let no 2 come back for seconds hence not wanting anyone else to be so foolish.
Snowbunny, yes sorry all ex's are witches, stirring cauldrons
I am on wife number 3 and a half now and so I have a covern of them behind me.
Its 3.5 because I let no 2 come back for seconds hence not wanting anyone else to be so foolish.
Mar 14th 2009, 3:36 pm
#53
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Living in a mirage
Posts: 606
Re: My ex wife wants to visit !
I have every sympathy with you and know what you mean as have been there many times.
Nothing irritates me more than men who dont give a toss about their kids, or women who class all 'fathers' as wantaways, who wont support their kids, or who think that just because we didnt give birth to them, that our bond is any less strong or important
I was the first person to see them when they were born, I got up every single night with my wife when they were young and needed feeding, and was with them everywhere they went, supporting them in anything they did.
Thats what I miss most....the daily interaction, just listening to their voices, arguing with one another, the noise, bedlam etc, plus the football training nights, football weekends watching them play, and going over West Ham with them to name but a few things.
I love the fact now that they are at an age where they arent just children now, but my best friends, and can be cheeky back to their Dad, try and wind me up by being sarcastic etc, and best of all that despite the fact the eldest one is an inch taller than me now(which he is so pleased with, at 6ft 4") he doesnt think twice in giving me a man hug when we see one another or leave one another...
I think it was LH who mentioned yesterday that a woman was more likely to try and save their kids than a man in a fire.....what utter rubbish, I would push every ****er out of the way to get to them, no matter who they were
Nothing irritates me more than men who dont give a toss about their kids, or women who class all 'fathers' as wantaways, who wont support their kids, or who think that just because we didnt give birth to them, that our bond is any less strong or important
I was the first person to see them when they were born, I got up every single night with my wife when they were young and needed feeding, and was with them everywhere they went, supporting them in anything they did.
Thats what I miss most....the daily interaction, just listening to their voices, arguing with one another, the noise, bedlam etc, plus the football training nights, football weekends watching them play, and going over West Ham with them to name but a few things.
I love the fact now that they are at an age where they arent just children now, but my best friends, and can be cheeky back to their Dad, try and wind me up by being sarcastic etc, and best of all that despite the fact the eldest one is an inch taller than me now(which he is so pleased with, at 6ft 4") he doesnt think twice in giving me a man hug when we see one another or leave one another...
I think it was LH who mentioned yesterday that a woman was more likely to try and save their kids than a man in a fire.....what utter rubbish, I would push every ****er out of the way to get to them, no matter who they were
Mar 14th 2009, 4:02 pm
#54
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7,646
Re: My ex wife wants to visit !
Lmao, yes send her this thread,
Snowbunny, yes sorry all ex's are witches, stirring cauldrons
I am on wife number 3 and a half now and so I have a covern of them behind me.
Its 3.5 because I let no 2 come back for seconds hence not wanting anyone else to be so foolish.
Snowbunny, yes sorry all ex's are witches, stirring cauldrons
I am on wife number 3 and a half now and so I have a covern of them behind me.
Its 3.5 because I let no 2 come back for seconds hence not wanting anyone else to be so foolish.
Wonder what the common denominator is.
Wonder what your ex's think about you
Wonder if your inability to sustain a relationship has anything to do
With the Oedipul tendencies exhibited by you on the Mother's Day thread
Was just wondering.............
What a lot of W's..can think of another handy one too
Will wait til I know you better though
Last edited by Eva; Mar 14th 2009 at 4:05 pm.
Mar 14th 2009, 4:34 pm
#55
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Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Up on the Ranches not down on the Springs
Posts: 2,109
Re: My ex wife wants to visit !
Eva,
lmao,
The last time I heard about Oedipus syndrome was from wife 2 - 2.5 though she had just gone through years of counciling, following first divorce and was suffering from analysis paralysis
Sadly no common denominator though I guess you were hoping there was lol.
First wife turned into a tramp after birth of son. Wasnt like that before pregnancy so can only assume all the hormones running around managed to totally bugger up her brain. She was from the cheap side of Manchester though so it should have been expected
Second wife was top older burd until menopause at which point she turned into a nutcase.
Third wife (younger and of English stock in case someone thinks I have picked up an ex thai prossie ) and perfectly happy. No traumas, no baggage
Would love think the last W was for Well hung but I suspect you have another word in mind...
lmao,
The last time I heard about Oedipus syndrome was from wife 2 - 2.5 though she had just gone through years of counciling, following first divorce and was suffering from analysis paralysis
Sadly no common denominator though I guess you were hoping there was lol.
First wife turned into a tramp after birth of son. Wasnt like that before pregnancy so can only assume all the hormones running around managed to totally bugger up her brain. She was from the cheap side of Manchester though so it should have been expected
Second wife was top older burd until menopause at which point she turned into a nutcase.
Third wife (younger and of English stock in case someone thinks I have picked up an ex thai prossie ) and perfectly happy. No traumas, no baggage
Would love think the last W was for Well hung but I suspect you have another word in mind...
Mar 14th 2009, 4:58 pm
#56
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7,646
Re: My ex wife wants to visit !
Eva,
lmao,
The last time I heard about Oedipus syndrome was from wife 2 - 2.5 though she had just gone through years of counciling, following first divorce and was suffering from analysis paralysis
Sadly no common denominator though I guess you were hoping there was lol.
First wife turned into a tramp after birth of son. Wasnt like that before pregnancy so can only assume all the hormones running around managed to totally bugger up her brain. She was from the cheap side of Manchester though so it should have been expected
Second wife was top older burd until menopause at which point she turned into a nutcase.
Third wife (younger and of English stock in case someone thinks I have picked up an ex thai prossie ) and perfectly happy. No traumas, no baggage
Would love think the last W was for Well hung but I suspect you have another word in mind...
lmao,
The last time I heard about Oedipus syndrome was from wife 2 - 2.5 though she had just gone through years of counciling, following first divorce and was suffering from analysis paralysis
Sadly no common denominator though I guess you were hoping there was lol.
First wife turned into a tramp after birth of son. Wasnt like that before pregnancy so can only assume all the hormones running around managed to totally bugger up her brain. She was from the cheap side of Manchester though so it should have been expected
Second wife was top older burd until menopause at which point she turned into a nutcase.
Third wife (younger and of English stock in case someone thinks I have picked up an ex thai prossie ) and perfectly happy. No traumas, no baggage
Would love think the last W was for Well hung but I suspect you have another word in mind...
And it's a complex not a syndrome.
Maybe you are well hung,men with small brains usually are.
Manchester you say?
Mar 14th 2009, 5:04 pm
#57
Hammer for Life
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Too far away from Upton Park, for my liking !
Posts: 5,524
Mar 14th 2009, 5:05 pm
#58
Hammer for Life
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Too far away from Upton Park, for my liking !
Posts: 5,524
Re: My ex wife wants to visit !
Im sorry your ex wasnt like that. Being a Dad is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I wouldnt trade it for all the money in the world