Nu-Shooz

I agree about the crappy weather. What on earth is going on. I was in UK all Oct and the weather was lovely. No wind or rain. Come back to the windiest weather i have ever seen. It keeps me awake all night...and the rain, when will it stop?
Moving over here to this type of thing does unsettle you alot. The so called tropical all year round climate is a thing of the past. You must also choose your location carefully. One place is so different to the next. Hope things work out for the OP, it is very very early days.

Jaycee1

Gosh Rachel, I followed your plight from the near beginning. I really hope that everything works out for you.
Sending ((((( HUGS))))) and K
J x

OzzieNurse

Hey, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger they say. Thanks for all your comments I am trying to decide what is the best action...either way there are some unsettling times ahead.

happy4

Hi there, I really feel for you. Same thing happened to us when we arrived in Melbourne Sept 06. OH loved it, great job, good prospects. I hated it from day one, I just couldn't let go of everything we had in the UK and longed to go home, especially sad as we have 2 young children. I ended up going back to the UK with our children to clear my head, at the time I could see no other way, though having being here for just 4 months. Luckily we have not sold our house so I was able to go 'home'. Looking back I can't believe things got to that but when your in that awful position ( and it is awful) of wanting to go home, I found I couldn't see the wood for the trees!

I am happy to say I did come back as I wouldn't have been able to look myself straight in the eye if I hadn't. I realise we could be anywhere as long as we are all together as a family, we are very close now. I am enjoying myself more as I'm taking each day as it comes and just want to enjoy the experience we have in front of us. I am not saying we will be here forever (who can?) but I know if we do go back to the UK, it won't be for trying. There are lows, but there are highs, seeing OH complete a charity bike ride (100kms) and seeing the kids enjoy the beach and being happy. Some days I love it, others I don't, I just try to not put pressure on myself.

I hope you can stay longer as I do think the experience is worth it. And it doesn't have to be forever. Maybe your OH could stay till early 08, and then see? Thats only 2 months away, all the best in your decision, it can be very tough and lots of talking needed. My OH was ready to come home to the UK in Jan to us, he hung on here so as not to lose his job. That meant alot to me as it took the pressure off, I wasn't forced into a corner and therefore made my own decision to return, I trust him and know if I become unhappy again, we can go back to the UK. I think it's all about give and take. Good luck x

kez81

I think your OH is being unfair he should be willing to give it at least a year maybe he will feel different maybe not but at least its giving it a chance after everything you went through to get here.

BRIDGET ROOT

Hi feel like I know you My son Allen and wife Emma whos son Thomas is at sh
pre school have met you they told me your predicitment. I also live in sh and I do know how your husband feels, I with homesickness we have been in Aus for 18months now and I still havnt truly settled We came out here at the ages of 61 and 63 so a really major upheaval for us but I am determined to give it a real try even if only for Allen Emma and Thomas and my daughter who lives in Sydney. I really think that 2 months is only the begining when we came out we were told not to attempt to go home before 18 months had gone by. I think your husband should persevere for your childs sake as the life style is far healther for a child than in the U.k.

Anyway good luck whatever the outcome if you do stay get in touch and we can have a get together

Jaycee1

You know that you will get all the support you need here either way.
Take care,
J x

martin davidson

Wow ! as my first post states we are sitting here in clacton on sea in the rain, have just been down morrisons in clacton and everyone was miserable as sin as usual. We came back for friends and family but as we have discovered you assume everyone keeps in touch. We have realised after years that really we are alone in our marriage and have to do what is right for us.I think when you get back as you will disscover friends and family seem different and as i have been told they resent us slighty for leaving them in the first place and our relationship with them seems different.We have been visiting everyone like mad since we got back but havent found the same coming back from them.

We wish we had left our house in perth and come back for a short period and made sure it was the right thing to do.I agree you really should stay as a family as i found out when my wife and son returned without me due to her grandmother illness. I was devestated and even worse when we spoke on the phone crying to each other.We vowed not to be apart again.

Follow your heart but for your child sake he or she will have a better life there in my opinion.p.s if your other half is 40 like me bury him under the patio and i will take his place if someone can forge me passport he he .Good luck to you both. From a damp and cold essex.

happy4

Hi Martin

Couldn't agree more. I longed for family and friends, hence my return, only realising all you stated above. Good luck x

daunted

Hey Mrs!! You remember everything you went through to get out there! dont you dare chuck it all away without real carefull consideration. It is all part of his game AGAIN :curse:
ring me

brits1

Just reading your thread...reading it I dd count my blessings....my husband works away (for the first time ever) so I have felt sorry for myself...as you do....I have come to the conclusion though that life makes you stronger when it throws things at you...you may not feel like that now but in time you will whatever you decide to do.....we have been in Aus for a long time and are planning to return home next year....we all want to return which is good but it has been a long and hard decision Nearly 3 years)...we have given Aus a really good "go" and have had some great times but has never felt like home....we don't just miss our family we are really just going home because we miss things about home..Europe etc....old things...new things....etc we are going back for us....I have learnt it is YOUR family that makes you happy anything else in life is a bonus.....friends good neighbours etc...In all my time in Aus I have met lots of people who have either loved the place or hated it some stayed some have gone.....wives who hate it (I have a friend who hates it and would love to go home but here husband will not even talk about it....I know who she feels so I have an idea for it can only be an idea as until you are in your position nobody truly know what it is like) husbands who hate it but wives love is etc...one old guy I knew wished he had never heard of the place or migration and they have been here for 30 years....I am affraid Migration is more complicated than just getting on that plane.

Did you all want to come out to Aus?....does not really matter in a way because you are all here now....is there anything that your husband misses that you could find to do here.....does he play Football (NOT AFL) ? if so he could find a club here to play for...there are loads....you can make good friends through the clubs....or does he enjoy living near the City....if so move to a suburb closer to Perth......we moved a few times when we first arrived just to find the best place for us...we had no friends or family when we arrived and in a way that was good (but also so hard) as we could pick and choose what we liked rather than moving where friends lived and we not really liked it etc...that was just us though....it was hard but we just did as we pleased. If "down south" does not suit your husband move north of the river....if he misses the countryside move to Settlers Hills (it's newish so lots of families are moving in with fresh starts).....I think and you will have done this until the cows come home....talk and see if there are ways to fix the things he does not like here in Aus.....if he is still determined to go home cannot he go on his own for a while, he will miss you both like mad and realise home is where you and his son is...or he may go home and think the U.K is no longer for him....if that is not going to happen and you love him sometimes we have to sacrificies and go home for a while...see how it goes....if you have a residency permit you can return within five years of it's issue....
All the advice in the world is wonderful but you have to listen to your own story to make your choice....everyone else has a story but it is theirs....so you should be guided by your experiences and feelings and no matter how hard you just have to what is best for you.

Weather is warming up.......we do have winter's in Perth and you have already experienced it.....after a summer it is usually nice to have that change but some people coming over from the U.K are surprised we have that kind of weather....itn lifes plan it does not last long....and the Sunshine lasts for months now.....
Best wishes and take care...
Jackie

JAJ

Not true where young children are involved.

If she returns to the U.K. and they subsequently split up, her spouse will be able to prevent the child moving back to Australia (barring a court order).

So the residency visa might turn out to be useless.

On the other hand, if she stays in Australia, then the child cannot be taken back to the U.K. without an Australian court order authorizing this. And an Australian court would usually take the view that the child should not be moved just because one parent wants that.

Thydney

Two months FFS I've waited longer than that for a post card

brits1

Yes, very true, I just did not think about "splitting up" etc......life I suppose is not black and white but very colourful.....let's hope it does not come to that. What I meant was if they all went back to the U.K and in time they decided it was not meant for them and they came back to Aus, with Permanent Residency they do have five years from the date of stamp to come back to Aus. Maybe the husband just needed to "get his head" round the move...I know people who do not come out straight away who have a Permanent Residency visa some take a few years.....
Jackie

scatty

Oh, boy, how sad for your whole family.

If you have only been abroad for a couple of months, that is far too soon to throw the towel in.

Can you not both meet and find middle ground. Thats what being married is all about, give and take on both sides

He agrees to stick it out for 2 years and if he still feels the same then you agree to return.

He is not being fair to expect you to up sticks after such a short time.