Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Old Oct 29th 2007, 9:27 am
  #31  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by scatty
Oh, boy, how sad for your whole family.

If you have only been abroad for a couple of months, that is far too soon to throw the towel in.

Can you not both meet and find middle ground. Thats what being married is all about, give and take on both sides

He agrees to stick it out for 2 years and if he still feels the same then you agree to return.

He is not being fair to expect you to up sticks after such a short time.
He wont give in...he is talking about february now...i really want to stay here...
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Old Oct 29th 2007, 9:31 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Are you really sure that your marriage is worth it?
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Old Oct 29th 2007, 10:36 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
He wont give in...he is talking about february now...i really want to stay here...


You had a bloody hard time with him just before you came out, I cant believe this is happening to you.

You are so deserving of some good luck you really are.
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Old Oct 29th 2007, 11:31 am
  #34  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

If he is talking February, there is time yet for him to change his mind. Something might happen between now and then which changes his view of Aus completely. Is it Perth? What state are your MIL/FIL in?
What about going to another city for a few days. Has he been all over Aus?
Fingers crossed for you,
J x
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Old Oct 29th 2007, 12:33 pm
  #35  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Has he made any friends yet over here? What line of work is he in? I keep trying to think of ways that will make him happier here. I don't of the problems you had before you came. Was he not really up for it in the first place?

Whereabouts in Perth are you? Just trying to wok out if the problems are with your particular area Does he specify what it is he doesn't like?

Sorry for so many questions. I'm in Perth and I'm just trying to help :hug:
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Old Oct 29th 2007, 12:52 pm
  #36  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
He wont give in...he is talking about february now...i really want to stay here...
Then stay!

Why does it have to be about someone "giving in", no one in a equal partnership expects the other to give in.

Get out there and meet some other expats so that you and your little boy have a life here. If the OH wants to join in, all for the better, but look after yourself and your son.

Maybe if your OH sees that you have a life here he will make more effort to become part of that life.

I think you are being bullied. This is not acceptable!

How much time, effort and heartsearching did it take for you to get this visa? Don't throw it all away just because someone is spitting the dummy!

I hope you find the strength to stand up for yourself.

Good Luck, and I will be thinking of you,

Maggie
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Old Oct 29th 2007, 1:39 pm
  #37  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

OzzieDoc

We met at a distance at Kings Park recently, the one with Aston Man

i'm really sorry to hear your hub's decision,

Has he found work?? does he have a circle of friends???

Do you socialise as a family at all???

all this may add to his unhappiness here (i am just assuming though)

I am PM'ing you hon!
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Old Oct 29th 2007, 2:01 pm
  #38  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
Well Hubby decided today he hates Oz after just two months and want's to go back to the UK. I have no choice in the matter as we have a nearly 4 year old son....all the hard work, struggles and stress getting here are now all for nothing.

I don't want to go back I want to give it year and then return. I have no choice. If he stays he will resent me and be unhappy and if I go back home I will feel the same.

Not a good situation...and not for our son either...he loves it here too. I got him in a great school and he has made friends. I feel so empty. All I have done today is cry.

At least we all still have our health so not so bad. Not looking forward to moving back...
so sad,im really sorry for your situation but surely if he stays for your sake he will resent you and if you go for his sake you will end up resenting him for the life you could of had as well - i do feel for you ,your in a no win situation
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Old Oct 29th 2007, 4:52 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

R please ring me babe I have your house number but dont want to ring incase it difficult. CALL ME PLEEASEEE
mandy x
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Old Oct 29th 2007, 5:03 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
He wont give in...he is talking about february now...i really want to stay here...
Well if he is talking about February then you at least have a good 3 months of communicating to do and hopefully any decision made will be in your favour.

Because you deserve it to be after everything you have been through.
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Old Oct 30th 2007, 1:57 am
  #41  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by MaggieM
I think you are being bullied. This is not acceptable!
I agree with Maggie, especially this bit.

What about telling him that he is quite welcome to leave, but you won't be going with him - let him go back for a while and sort his head out. You can always follow him back later on if you feel you need to be with him and he won't come back.

But standing up to him will show him that you won't be bullied into doing something you don't want to do and it will make him think about what is important to him.

It could be that you all go back to the UK and he decides he really did want to be here after all, you will all be dragged back again.

If you let him go alone then he may just come to his senses - he may not but at least you have given it a try.

Your happiness is just as important as his at the end of the day, you only have one life - so live it the way you want to and not the way he say's you should.
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Old Oct 30th 2007, 9:14 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

I really feel for you in your situation, should you maybe try somewhere else in Oz before you decide to go back, it may be that he finds perth too Remote maybe, sorry if someone has already said this but I hven't read the other posts. We have been here a year and believe me the time flys we are in NSW and luckily so far we are all quite settled, my two children are teenagers aso we have been lucky that they have not regretted the move. Can you talk to your hubbie or does he just change the subject all the time, hope you can sort something out, we have friends in Perth and they seem to be happy, have you made many friends there, I know it is never the same as your good old buddies you have known for years but it does help, what does your hubbie miss the most? Frances
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Old Oct 30th 2007, 9:20 am
  #43  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by daunted
R please ring me babe I have your house number but dont want to ring incase it difficult. CALL ME PLEEASEEE
mandy x
will call you but has to be on the mobile when i am out and about.... xxx
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Old Oct 31st 2007, 4:26 am
  #44  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Been looking into it and because there is a two year qualifying period before I can get any help with rent, childcare, family assistance etc, I am not going to be able to afford to stay here as a single mom. My job pays $50,573 per year. I pay out $200-300 per week on childcare and have the car to pay for out of that.

Now that I am pregnant too (yes you heard me right, bad timing or what!?) I will not be able to cope on my own. So looks like its back to the UK.

Thanks to all of those who have offered their support. This means so much. I wouldn't want to bother you all with my worries though you probably have enough to think about already...hopefully I can come back to oz as soon as possible.
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Old Oct 31st 2007, 4:46 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
Been looking into it and because there is a two year qualifying period before I can get any help with rent, childcare, family assistance etc, I am not going to be able to afford to stay here as a single mom. My job pays $50,573 per year. I pay out $200-300 per week on childcare and have the car to pay for out of that.

Now that I am pregnant too (yes you heard me right, bad timing or what!?) I will not be able to cope on my own. So looks like its back to the UK.

Thanks to all of those who have offered their support. This means so much. I wouldn't want to bother you all with my worries though you probably have enough to think about already...hopefully I can come back to oz as soon as possible.
I thought these payments were available immediately for PR visa holders. Have you spoken to Centrelink Rachael?
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