OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Jul 18th 2011, 12:58 pm
#8146
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Location: Surrey, England
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
You seemed to be enjoying it, are you still happy? Hope so, good luck Denise2
Jul 18th 2011, 1:02 pm
#8147
Home Sweet Home
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Hello Mrs Sully, good to hear from you again. Congrats on having made a decision and moving with a plan....how exciting!
The para that particularly struck me is where you say:
The dilemma is now that it all seems possible anxiety has set in regarding my daughter and her little family. Given my husband says he is doing this for me it now seems a huge responsibility. I never thought I would ever feel so torn, I know you have been through this Beedubya.
I know exactly what you mean. For years I badgered my (US) DH about going to England. It just was never possible, with his work, children's school, etc. Finally a couple of years ago, he said he was ready--let's do it!! By then all our children were grown up and likely to stay in USA.
And so, while absolutely thrilled he was ready, I was also suddenly assailed with panic about leaving our children, and possible grandchildren, now it really seemed the dream could become reality! Yet said children supported the idea...
JacquelineS has written that this is her big worry, her children all live close by now, so a move back to UK would be a huge change in that regard. Ours on the other hand were not so close by, one of them was so far away in that big country USA that we only saw him a couple of times a year anyway.
It IS a dilemma--and I don't even have grandchildren yet! I'm sure that changes everything.
But in the end it is about where we feel happiest, where we belong.
At the mo we are in France as DH has a work assignment here. In 2/3 years that will be done. Then we hope to start spending lots more time in UK. We still have a dream of being able to live part of the year in UK and part in US but we don't know how this will work...
At this moment we are trying to plan how and when to next see the two out of three adult children who live in the States...(third child lives in France as well, tho not in same place, but we are able to see her more). Will we go there? Bring them here? And when???
A dilemma. But as I say we didn't see that much of them, alas, when still in USA because of geographical distance.
Good luck with it all, Mrs Sully! A you say, a good time in your lives. I would listen to Trotty's wisdom. If you don't try it, you will always wonder what it would have been like,and probably regret not having done it. And if you leave it til later, all sorts of things can intervene...
And of course Beedubya/Barb has as you say profound experience of this very problem. Tried England, missed family, went back to Oz, missed England unbearably, went back to England.....fair summing-up, Barb?
Tina
The para that particularly struck me is where you say:
The dilemma is now that it all seems possible anxiety has set in regarding my daughter and her little family. Given my husband says he is doing this for me it now seems a huge responsibility. I never thought I would ever feel so torn, I know you have been through this Beedubya.
I know exactly what you mean. For years I badgered my (US) DH about going to England. It just was never possible, with his work, children's school, etc. Finally a couple of years ago, he said he was ready--let's do it!! By then all our children were grown up and likely to stay in USA.
And so, while absolutely thrilled he was ready, I was also suddenly assailed with panic about leaving our children, and possible grandchildren, now it really seemed the dream could become reality! Yet said children supported the idea...
JacquelineS has written that this is her big worry, her children all live close by now, so a move back to UK would be a huge change in that regard. Ours on the other hand were not so close by, one of them was so far away in that big country USA that we only saw him a couple of times a year anyway.
It IS a dilemma--and I don't even have grandchildren yet! I'm sure that changes everything.
But in the end it is about where we feel happiest, where we belong.
At the mo we are in France as DH has a work assignment here. In 2/3 years that will be done. Then we hope to start spending lots more time in UK. We still have a dream of being able to live part of the year in UK and part in US but we don't know how this will work...
At this moment we are trying to plan how and when to next see the two out of three adult children who live in the States...(third child lives in France as well, tho not in same place, but we are able to see her more). Will we go there? Bring them here? And when???
A dilemma. But as I say we didn't see that much of them, alas, when still in USA because of geographical distance.
Good luck with it all, Mrs Sully! A you say, a good time in your lives. I would listen to Trotty's wisdom. If you don't try it, you will always wonder what it would have been like,and probably regret not having done it. And if you leave it til later, all sorts of things can intervene...
And of course Beedubya/Barb has as you say profound experience of this very problem. Tried England, missed family, went back to Oz, missed England unbearably, went back to England.....fair summing-up, Barb?
Tina
The weather was atrocious this weekend too, which didn't help.......anyway the black dog seems to be on his way back to his kennel after me doing a lot of self talk to myself.
Mrs Sully, Charliegirl, Tina and all of you with kids and/or grandkids in another country, just know that it is not going to be easy........and of course I KNEW that, but some days are just so hard, not only missing them but terrible feelings of guilt..........
Last edited by Beedubya; Jul 18th 2011 at 1:04 pm.
Jul 18th 2011, 1:36 pm
#8148
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Beedubya...I am so sorry it must be awful. Do you have Skype that might be a help to you. That is my one fear on going home leaving behind those I love more than anything else in the world. It must have its ups and downs. The weather has been awful in the UK my niece just left for a holiday down South and was thinking of cancelling but decided to go as she could not get he deposit back. Have you joined any clubs or anything yet to get you out. My problem here is I hardly ever talk to anyone so when I go home I will have to learn how to socialize again. I have got into the habit of liking my own company.
Jul 18th 2011, 1:53 pm
#8149
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Location: Back home now in my home town in England U.K. after 36 years in U.S. now retired and loving it,
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Thanks Pollyana, when I have found it I may be just like you and not like it at all, as MY taste buds and things that I like differ a lot from my family,
Jul 18th 2011, 2:21 pm
#8150
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Well said Tina and to be honest this past week has been pretty awful, maybe because it was my youngest grand-daughter's birthday on Thursday, she turned 13 and I am not there, though in reality I would probably only have seen here for an hour that night and would have had to have driven back for work anyway, and the girls were with their father this weekend so they wouldn't have been at home........still..........I had a really awful weekend and to be honest I didn't talk to a soul until this morning at work, my mum rang but I didn't answer the phone as I just didn't feel like idle chat.........
The weather was atrocious this weekend too, which didn't help.......anyway the black dog seems to be on his way back to his kennel after me doing a lot of self talk to myself.
Mrs Sully, Charliegirl, Tina and all of you with kids and/or grandkids in another country, just know that it is not going to be easy........and of course I KNEW that, but some days are just so hard, not only missing them but terrible feelings of guilt..........
The weather was atrocious this weekend too, which didn't help.......anyway the black dog seems to be on his way back to his kennel after me doing a lot of self talk to myself.
Mrs Sully, Charliegirl, Tina and all of you with kids and/or grandkids in another country, just know that it is not going to be easy........and of course I KNEW that, but some days are just so hard, not only missing them but terrible feelings of guilt..........
Hang in there girl...this to shall pass....
Jackie
Jul 18th 2011, 3:12 pm
#8151
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
trotty and fish you have certainly got my interest on this dandelion thing now I have to go on a mission to find it ---- and I will not give up till its in my hand, thanks fish I will try Asdas/Sainsburys/Tesco ---- cant believe I have missed out on this for all my life,
It says on that link that it has been made in Britain since 1265 WOW thats wayyyyyy before my time
It says on that link that it has been made in Britain since 1265 WOW thats wayyyyyy before my time
Jul 18th 2011, 3:43 pm
#8152
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Location: Used to be New York, now North Yorkshire
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
I can't drink soda anymore - tastes like drinking a cup of sugar! - but when we were kids, we drank Dandelion and Burdock all the time. That and lemonade - the UK kind not the American kind.
I don't even remember seeing Coca Cola until I was in my teens but maybe that's just because my mum didn't buy it.
I don't even remember seeing Coca Cola until I was in my teens but maybe that's just because my mum didn't buy it.
Jul 18th 2011, 3:45 pm
#8153
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
So sorry that you had a tough weekend. I don't know how you do it to be honest because family is so important. But to be pulled by a place on the one hand and by people on the other must be very hard and I can only offer my empathy. I hope this week is brighter for you.
Jul 18th 2011, 4:11 pm
#8154
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
To All.....Our trip home is booked
QE 2.....May 29th 2012 leaving from New York....
QE 2.....May 29th 2012 leaving from New York....
Jul 18th 2011, 4:32 pm
#8156
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Trotty, that is absolutely WONDERFUL! Having a definite DATE is so exciting! From here on out, everything you think, say and do will revolve around 29 May 2012. P.S. Truly, it's just around the corner!
I am so happy for you. x
Jul 18th 2011, 4:37 pm
#8157
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
I'm right there with you, Barb. I have really bad days sometimes, as well. And it can just creep up on me unexpectedly. The other day we were at the mall (Westfield Shopping Centre, London), in a toy shop buying a birthday present for Tony's 2-year old grandson. As we were looking at all the toys, my mind became flooded with images and thoughts of my own children and grandchildren. It was all I could do to keep from sobbing out loud.
We are still so happy to be back in England - and moments like this make me realise just how much I gave up in order to do it. I think that is part of the reason why we work so hard at ignoring the negatives and embracing the positives of being here.
Hugs to you - and everyone else going through this. x
Jul 18th 2011, 5:43 pm
#8158
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Jul 18th 2011, 5:53 pm
#8159
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Jul 18th 2011, 7:18 pm
#8160
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Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II
Hey pollyanna I used to live and work in Brighton, how long ago did you move? I was there from 1972 -1983