Derrygal

Just wondering - have you ever considered that if you had the same stressful job here in the US, you would be just as unsettled/unhappy? Job stress can really affect your life, no matter where you live. I can honestly say, I really don't like my job much at all (although I am very thankful I have one). I went through a phase a couple of years ago, where I just longed for the weekend. I used to get very depressed on Sunday evenings, thinking of Monday morning (in my case Monday moaning) and the week ahead. I would just try to get through the week somehow and then Friday would come around - I was more or less elated driving home from work on Friday afternoon - no work for two whole days! This went on for a couple of years - until my daughter said to me - "Mum it's your job, it's not your life". She was right and I realized I was actually wishing my life away. Now I try to put things into perspective - it's my job, not my life. If I've had a bad week, I'll try to fit in things that make me happy - be it reading a good book, going to see a movie or just going out for a walk. I know everyone's situation is different, but I think sometimes we just have to try and make time for ourselves.

dunroving

The nature of my job is such that evenings and weekends don't exist, to an extent (I've spent most of today working at the computer, for example, with regular short stints on BE to break up the work) - so I don't even get the chance to say TGIF. The difference is that in the States I really, really enjoyed what I was doing and bought into the ethos and philosophy of the profession over there (so working long hours and writing papers during my annual leave was actually almost a form of recreation). Don't get me wrong, there were definitely times when I became worn out or stressed because of deadlines or high-pressure situations (presenting keynote lectures to large audiences, for example). The difference was that it seemed "worth it", if that makes sense.

Here, I find that university life is almost like an extension of being a teacher in a bad comprehensive school - so much time spent on dealing with petty policies and procedures, documenting things purely for the sake of box-ticking, and a significant minority of students who really seem to be quite aimless and disaffected. If I got into the details, this post would spread over several pages but suffice to say that every one of my ever-dwindling group of colleagues is suffering from work-related stress, insomnia, etc., and last year two of them retired on the grounds of ill health due to work-related stress/mental health problems. All of this in a workplace that just had its "Investors in People" status renewed - yet another box-ticking exercise that as far as I know doesn't include giving employees the opportunity to talk directly to the team conducting the evaluation. I have made requests on several occasions for work-sponsored classes on stress reduction, dealing with time management, mediitation, etc., with no result.

I have easily spent 80% of the past 5 years being pretty miserable, the only relief being when I go away to conferences and escape the workplace (and engage with my much more optimistic American colleagues), or brief periods of annual leave. If I could afford it, I'd quit and take on some menial job that starts at 9 and ends at 5, but it's just not financially viable.

sallysimmons

That's so sad dunrovin.

I used to work in corporate America and it was so stressful and horrible that I used to feel just as you do. I made lots and lots of money and it didn't make life any happier because all I did was work long hours at a job I hated.

When I finally took the plunge and quit, I was terrified. I had only a few months' severance and no idea if my business idea would work. But I started it anyway. We had some tough years but by working at it, we've built it up into something that now pays the bills and leaves a bit over every month for my 'get back home' fund. But the best bit is I love what I do, and I work only the hours I want to.

It's a cliche but life is just too short to be miserable. We only get one go round. I hope you find a solution soon.

Derrygal

Dunroving - Sorry - I hope things get better for you!!!

between two worlds

Dunrovin'
that is very very sad. I have always remembered my university student days (Durham 1975-78!) as among the best of my life, and I've always thought of British universities as wonderful places to be.

If you are not enjoying your work as a univ teacher in a place that's supposed to be an inspiration to the young--a place for learning, exploration etc etc--because of beareaucracy and this box-ticking mentality, then the univ is letting down both students and faculty.

Interesting that you really enjoying the uS univ experience--yet here is Sally who says she was utterly miserable in the US corporate experience.

So, not a US vs UK thing, obviously--perhaps it's down to the atmospheres within the individual universities and corporation concerned. An organisation can, I suppose, create its own atmosphere,for better or for worse.

Anyway, if you are this unhappy in your job, well.....don't know what to say! It's a real shame.

Tina

windsong

Sounds as if you are settling in well, Rosie

windsong

I know someone who got food stamps - or a bridge card it is called now. He could by ONLY food - no cleaning products, no paper goods . .

jasper123

Cosco have several places over in England but mostly up north, not in Portsmouth, I was going to become a member but didn't, --- my friend ART took me to his cosco a couple of days before my flight in Vegas, and we did the tour eat thing, just browsing you know walking around slowly stoping here and there at the little stalls that people are selling there product, lots of food stalls and we just pick up a nice sample plate at each place, and after about 45 minutes we were so full that we just stopped by the photo shop inside the store to pick up my snaps that were developed, (we were just killing time while my film was being developed and it turned out to be a nice lunch too actually and all free

windsong

I don't mind if it is not the same as when I left it. Heavens, I left 34 years ago and I myself have changed since then. If it has a few traits from the USA but is mainly UK, I will be quite happy.

This forum helps me make a firm decision about going back. It also starts the readjustment phase. As a community here, we learn about the UK as it is today: We talk about various aspects of British life, we talk about the TV shows and some of us are avidly watching them online, we talk about healthcare, etc. All these things are part of a reacquaintance phase so that the final move over there is not as much of a shock to the system.

jasper123

Yes Barb I havent thought that far ahead right now either, Im the kind of person that worries about absolutely nothing until it happens, and of course I do spend £2 per week on the lottery here, my Mum spends £8 per week she is such a heavy gambler isisn'the Oh well you never know we might get lucky, yeah and one day pigs may fly

jasper123

Absolutely correct cheers, once you become a member in US you can use that Cosco card in the UK and when it expires after the year you can just keep on renewing it here in UK, but you cant become a member here in UK unless you own a business of some kind, dont ask me why --- I think there loosing out on a lot of business myself,

jasper123

Well trotty me I would choose a nice house in Wales somewhere right by the sea, or devon or cornwall right by the sea, thats if I won the lotto, or maybe look around for a nice B&B to buy like David and partner,
Rodney.

cheers

I watch the employees at Costco in the check out and they give me an ulcer. I wouldn't last a day. Talk about stress! Its go go go.

cheers

Updated

Fish n Chips 56

Dunroving.
I totally hear you, I feel stuck in a similar place and hate going to work these days, I'm self employeed so I live and breath this everyday, Im looking around for something a little different and certainly more profitable, things were great before 911 but ever since its been a real slog.

I understand the menial 9-5 job, cos some days driving a dustbin lorry would be perfect for me, it would be a mental waste but so much less stress and worry.

You are an educated person, instead of the menial low paying job why not something that pays OK doing something else, I think people limit themselves too much instead of thinking outside the box, I realise you are like the rest of us and no spring chicken.