"Inbetweenies" Thread:For those who are definitely returning, but not for a while
Jul 19th 2010, 4:20 pm
#31
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Re: "Inbetweenies" Thread:For those who are definitely returning, but not for a while
You just have to learn to brush it off and remember why you left OZ. People think you're mad returning, but they haven't left their lives, friends and families and can't appreciate how tough that is!
The only thing that makes me think it would be mad to return is the negativity of the type of people who say we're mad to return. I know their moaning will drive me mad.
Jul 19th 2010, 6:07 pm
#32
Lost in Space
Joined: Oct 2009
Location: Stockport, Cheshire, UK
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Re: "Inbetweenies" Thread:For those who are definitely returning, but not for a while
They also haven't lived anywhere else and realized that nowhere is all it's cracked up to be. People in England have no idea how lucky they are to have the NHS for example. They just take it for granted, but let them move here and start paying over $1,000 per month for insurance (if they're lucky enough to be able to get it at all).
The only thing that makes me think it would be mad to return is the negativity of the type of people who say we're mad to return. I know their moaning will drive me mad.
The only thing that makes me think it would be mad to return is the negativity of the type of people who say we're mad to return. I know their moaning will drive me mad.
This whole process is much more stressful and upsetting than I anticipated. Wine isn't helping either! Now what do I do?
Jul 19th 2010, 7:03 pm
#33
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Re: "Inbetweenies" Thread:For those who are definitely returning, but not for a while
I've been here for 5 years and I just realized, or accepted that i've been miserable for most of that time. I'm not one to talk about mistakes, and usually just say i'm glad I had a go, but this may actually have been a mistake. Of course, if I traveled back in time and told mysel five years ago not to do it, I would not have listened because I was so intent on coming here. So, I suppose, it was something I had to try. Plus, I did meet my husband here.
After a lot of thought and many discussions, I think it's pretty likely thet we will be moving to the UK 2011/2012. DH has always been open to the idea and actually wants to move to the UK, which is great! I do worry about him having feelings like I have, though. What if he gets homesick, or doesn't like it there as much as he thought?
Anyway, I've tried to fit in, but I just don't feel like I ever have. Sometimes I hang on to the dream of being here and maybe living somewhere more exciting in the US, but I know deep down that I'd still miss my family, which is a big part of me wanting to go home. I'm pregnant right now and it's hard to imagine raising a child so far away from my family. I think if we are going to do this, we need to do it soon. So, we've given ourselves a bottom line. If we aren't in a better, happier position by the time I am eligible for citizenship, then we will pack up and get out of here.
After a lot of thought and many discussions, I think it's pretty likely thet we will be moving to the UK 2011/2012. DH has always been open to the idea and actually wants to move to the UK, which is great! I do worry about him having feelings like I have, though. What if he gets homesick, or doesn't like it there as much as he thought?
Anyway, I've tried to fit in, but I just don't feel like I ever have. Sometimes I hang on to the dream of being here and maybe living somewhere more exciting in the US, but I know deep down that I'd still miss my family, which is a big part of me wanting to go home. I'm pregnant right now and it's hard to imagine raising a child so far away from my family. I think if we are going to do this, we need to do it soon. So, we've given ourselves a bottom line. If we aren't in a better, happier position by the time I am eligible for citizenship, then we will pack up and get out of here.
Jul 19th 2010, 9:48 pm
#34
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Re: "Inbetweenies" Thread:For those who are definitely returning, but not for a while
I'm dreading that too. I constantly have the 'You must be mad to be leaving the island' from all and sundry, so to have the 'You must be mad to be back' may make me violent!!!!
This whole process is much more stressful and upsetting than I anticipated. Wine isn't helping either! Now what do I do?
This whole process is much more stressful and upsetting than I anticipated. Wine isn't helping either! Now what do I do?
During the first few months I had around 8 interviews before I got the job I wanted and in EVERY interview they said 'why would you want to come back from Australia', I am sure they thought something was wrong with me. It got to the point where I would just sigh and come out with a well rehearsed mantra.
These are hard times in the UK and the TV is flooded with programmes like 'Wanted down under' many want to leave, but for many it is just a dream and you are their target if you have done it and returned. I had a couple of very nasty comments in the first few months of my first job back.
Last edited by Jon77; Jul 19th 2010 at 9:52 pm.
Jul 19th 2010, 9:50 pm
#35
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Jul 19th 2010, 11:11 pm
#36
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Re: "Inbetweenies" Thread:For those who are definitely returning, but not for a while
i second that sally, 9 years into our mortgage here in the USA and owe far more than it is worth today, very scary.......me I would go home tomorrow..... one day I will though in the not so distant future.
Good luck to everyone moving onwards and upwards though...
Good luck to everyone moving onwards and upwards though...
Jul 20th 2010, 12:01 am
#37
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Re: "Inbetweenies" Thread:For those who are definitely returning, but not for a while
QUOTE I kid you not, every person I have discussed my background with since I returned have all stated 'but why on earth would you come back', even my family said the same !
During the first few months I had around 8 interviews before I got the job I wanted and in EVERY interview they said 'why would you want to come back from Australia', I am sure they thought something was wrong with me. It got to the point where I would just sigh and come out with a well rehearsed mantra. UNQUOTE (Sorry, I messed up the quote thingy somehow)
We've had the same reaction from family here (brother) and back in the UK (my Dad). I have an interesting and well-paid job here; I'd be pretty confident about getting a similar job in the UK but I reckon the pay will be considerably less.
But of course it is not all about "standard of living" as we all know. I always thought that was a strange phrase. There's something more like a "satisfaction index" which takes in your OH and children's dreams and desires, your circle of friends, local community involvement, and so on; whatever is important to you.
And behind all that there is this strange thing we call "culture". In my company's terms we describe culture as "the way people are expected to behave". For those of us planning to return, I guess the way that we are expected to behave, and the way that others behave, in our current locations, is not doing it for us one way or another.
I don't think it's about one being better or worse than another; they are simply different.
During the first few months I had around 8 interviews before I got the job I wanted and in EVERY interview they said 'why would you want to come back from Australia', I am sure they thought something was wrong with me. It got to the point where I would just sigh and come out with a well rehearsed mantra. UNQUOTE (Sorry, I messed up the quote thingy somehow)
We've had the same reaction from family here (brother) and back in the UK (my Dad). I have an interesting and well-paid job here; I'd be pretty confident about getting a similar job in the UK but I reckon the pay will be considerably less.
But of course it is not all about "standard of living" as we all know. I always thought that was a strange phrase. There's something more like a "satisfaction index" which takes in your OH and children's dreams and desires, your circle of friends, local community involvement, and so on; whatever is important to you.
And behind all that there is this strange thing we call "culture". In my company's terms we describe culture as "the way people are expected to behave". For those of us planning to return, I guess the way that we are expected to behave, and the way that others behave, in our current locations, is not doing it for us one way or another.
I don't think it's about one being better or worse than another; they are simply different.
Jul 20th 2010, 12:16 am
#38
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Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Yorkton SK, Glos UK in 2011
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Re: "Inbetweenies" Thread:For those who are definitely returning, but not for a while
When we told family we had decided to start the proceedings to come home they all had positive reactions. OH family were ecstatic and my family were sad it hasn't worked out but are really happy we are coming back.
My friends on facebook are looking forward to seeing us, I don't think one person has asked why we want to go back. But when I asked my dad what was the economy like as I heard the UK was having it bad, he just said everything is ticking along, yes there have been job layoffs but there's work if you want it.
To be honest I really don't think it can get much worse for us. OH has been laid off 4 times and put on job share once. He's now labouring for $13 an hour and I have a part time job at $10 an hour. Going to try and go full time after school holidays as it's not worth working more hours to pay childcare.
Trouble is now we've decided to leave it's very hard to stay motivated as one close friend said we've already left in our heads. So that's why I think people may become distant. Especially if they don't want to hear about England all the time
If we sell our place I think we may decide just to go, the thought of not doing another Canadian winter is very tempting.
My friends on facebook are looking forward to seeing us, I don't think one person has asked why we want to go back. But when I asked my dad what was the economy like as I heard the UK was having it bad, he just said everything is ticking along, yes there have been job layoffs but there's work if you want it.
To be honest I really don't think it can get much worse for us. OH has been laid off 4 times and put on job share once. He's now labouring for $13 an hour and I have a part time job at $10 an hour. Going to try and go full time after school holidays as it's not worth working more hours to pay childcare.
Trouble is now we've decided to leave it's very hard to stay motivated as one close friend said we've already left in our heads. So that's why I think people may become distant. Especially if they don't want to hear about England all the time
If we sell our place I think we may decide just to go, the thought of not doing another Canadian winter is very tempting.
Jul 20th 2010, 1:43 am
#39
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Re: "Inbetweenies" Thread:For those who are definitely returning, but not for a while
Told my Mum that we could be thinking of returning but she said that we are 'a lot safer here as everyone is getting stabbed over there!'
Going back for a much-needed trip home soon,so will see for myself.
Been hanging on because of my kids. Here to give them a 'better life' but my teenage boy is really messing up.That could be another thread because I'd like to hear how other families have got on. They have a lot of freedom early, so by the time they reach teenage years it's hard to contain them. If they grow out of sport, there isn't really anything for them but I suppose there are bored kids everywhere.
Going back for a much-needed trip home soon,so will see for myself.
Been hanging on because of my kids. Here to give them a 'better life' but my teenage boy is really messing up.That could be another thread because I'd like to hear how other families have got on. They have a lot of freedom early, so by the time they reach teenage years it's hard to contain them. If they grow out of sport, there isn't really anything for them but I suppose there are bored kids everywhere.
Jul 20th 2010, 1:49 am
#40
The Brit is back
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: NS, Canada 2007-2013. Now....England!
Posts: 2,211
Re: "Inbetweenies" Thread:For those who are definitely returning, but not for a while
Told my Mum that we could be thinking of returning but she said that we are 'a lot safer here as everyone is getting stabbed over there!'
Going back for a much-needed trip home soon,so will see for myself.
Been hanging on because of my kids. Here to give them a 'better life' but my teenage boy is really messing up.That could be another thread because I'd like to hear how other families have got on. They have a lot of freedom early, so by the time they reach teenage years it's hard to contain them. If they grow out of sport, there isn't really anything for them but I suppose there are bored kids everywhere.
Going back for a much-needed trip home soon,so will see for myself.
Been hanging on because of my kids. Here to give them a 'better life' but my teenage boy is really messing up.That could be another thread because I'd like to hear how other families have got on. They have a lot of freedom early, so by the time they reach teenage years it's hard to contain them. If they grow out of sport, there isn't really anything for them but I suppose there are bored kids everywhere.
I'm sure everyone is not really getting stabbed though...there will be no-one left! lol
Jul 20th 2010, 2:00 am
#41
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Re: "Inbetweenies" Thread:For those who are definitely returning, but not for a while
Would love to return home. I've written many a time on other threads about my OH liking it here. He has a boat and enjoys fishing. We have been here over 6 years and I have hated it here for over 6 years. He said to give it at least 3 years but in that time my kids have grown up as Kiwis.My oldest is doing his NCEAs and my youngest will start hers next year. It's not a good time to change their education. Before my daughter starts her important NCEA years I'm taking her back home to England. She was only 7 when we left. Just booked a flight ...there are some good deals at the moment. OH has now said that he wouldn't mind going back but we need first to get our citizienship. The kids may want to return to NZ or we/they might like to try OZ. After struggling all this time I want something to show for it.
I find life so boring here and life just goes from day to day.I haven't made any real friends here but that is probably my mindset. I miss my old friends and,even if they can be annoying, my family.
I am really looking forward to going back in a couple of months and I hope my daughter enjoys it too. It is just too expensive for all of us to go back for a visit.And my son and OH aren't that bothered.
I last went back 3years ago on my own. It was like putting on an old pair of slippers. I picked up with friends as though I'd only seen them the day before.
It made me even more unsettled. Some people here said that I would return and be able to embrace the life here.No. I can't get excited about anything here even birthdays or especially Christmas. I have missed so many a Christmas. The World Cup has come and gone without any fuss here. I just feel apart from the rest of the World and people.The humour...the light-hearted banter that you can find anywhere.
I feel time is just slipping away. I would rather try Australia than stay here. At least it seems in more contact with the outside world and on the holidays we've had there, it seems livelier and with a better atmosphere of just 'being'
.
I find life so boring here and life just goes from day to day.I haven't made any real friends here but that is probably my mindset. I miss my old friends and,even if they can be annoying, my family.
I am really looking forward to going back in a couple of months and I hope my daughter enjoys it too. It is just too expensive for all of us to go back for a visit.And my son and OH aren't that bothered.
I last went back 3years ago on my own. It was like putting on an old pair of slippers. I picked up with friends as though I'd only seen them the day before.
It made me even more unsettled. Some people here said that I would return and be able to embrace the life here.No. I can't get excited about anything here even birthdays or especially Christmas. I have missed so many a Christmas. The World Cup has come and gone without any fuss here. I just feel apart from the rest of the World and people.The humour...the light-hearted banter that you can find anywhere.
I feel time is just slipping away. I would rather try Australia than stay here. At least it seems in more contact with the outside world and on the holidays we've had there, it seems livelier and with a better atmosphere of just 'being'
.
Jul 20th 2010, 3:01 am
#42
The Kwisatz Haderach
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: North Wales
Posts: 8,080
Re: "Inbetweenies" Thread:For those who are definitely returning, but not for a while
Hello Kentish Lass -Yes been there (towed a caravan through All Hallows, just for the sheer fun of it! My date hopefully - to leave Thailand - March 20 Next Year! My Third Wife, will again have chattering teeth, but says she will be more prepared, I have tried this for three years, and still have no one to chat to, Only when I use Skype!. All the lovely nurses from the local Clinic/Hospital, come to see me, but cannot chat to me, just smile a lot! And I shall be 80 on Friday - so I just want to go home - no party - what is a birthday? No one here bothers. Good luck, Kentish Lass! Bye! Don
Itill take her a while but I'm sure she'll become accustomed to the weather after a while. Dh is a hot weather kind of guy, but I'm not, I told him I'll buy him some thermals to keep his aching knees warm and a big bottle of Ibuprofen if they do hurt in the cold. They should be fine so long as they dress appropriate for the weather. Not like when I was a young one and wore high heels and short skits with thin tights and no coat to go to the night clubs on a Saturday night. I'm amazed we didn't all get frostbite looking back on it.
Jul 20th 2010, 3:38 am
#43
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Re: "Inbetweenies" Thread:For those who are definitely returning, but not for a while
Lorry1..Where is that thread? 'What will I miss about Australia'.....Is it a long way back on here or in the Australia section?
Jul 20th 2010, 10:54 am
#45
The Brit is back
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Location: NS, Canada 2007-2013. Now....England!
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