I know, but one more year....then another year...then another... The goal posts keep moving.
I remember bumping into an eldery lady coming out of a supermarket not long after we arrived here. She picked up on my accent and asked if I was settling in okay. I replied that I was finding it very difficult. Her reply was to 'get out now!' She had been here for,if I remember correctly, 40 years,I know it was a long time. She said the longer you are here the harder it is to return. She couldn't afford to go back and she now had grown up children and grandchildren here. She wished she had headed home many years ago. I thought how sad that sounded. Just hope I'm not saying the same in xyears.

That is a very distressing thing to be reminded of- I too am having second thoughts, now all the lounge furniture has gone - though I do have a few Queen's head to count. What if my Pensions, are just not sufficient to live on? - at 80, I don't want to go for a part-time job in B&Q ( although I could do it). Tim wants to get a part-time job, but I really do not want her to. Mai pen rai ( never mind) love don x x

Curious, what is B&Q???

Remember when there was an organization called something like "Commissionaires" who wore a uniform. I think they were retired military but worked in a civilian capacity. Their appearance to me was spotless. The uniform was black and they wore these leather belts across their chest. Shoes were polished and spotless.

You are all too young to remember such things

It's a home improvement store they are all over UK, I like them.

My friend in the UK tells me B&Q is the reason why everyone has such nice kitchens!

Hi Cheers - B&Q is a company selling the same kind of DIY goods, etc., as Costco and also Do It All- and you jest, sir! too young to remember the guys in uniform, opening the door for me, in hotels, and operating the lifts in the stores? I think not - I am 80+ dontheturner

For me that is a real fear, and one reason why I won't give up on my dream of moving back asap.
That of waking up in 10/15 years time and realising that it is more of a wrentch (sp?) now to leave everything.
I am a kiwi, but loved it in the UK. I had made it my home and didn't miss NZ at all.
But, in fairness to my OH he wanted to try life out here - a bit of an adventure while the kids where young. And while he would stay here longer - I have said no. Lets go back.

We lost a close rellie just before we came out here, and while my in-laws (like a lot of british) can't see the good in teh UK and think that it must be the best thing since sliced bread out here - it made me realise that life is so short.
And if I want something then I need to fight for it.
I am a bit of a drifter through life, but it gave me the wake call to realise that life is far too short and that if I want something I need to fight for it, for my children and for my family.

Although if we hadn't come back to NZ then there would have always been that question of 'what if'
That itch has been well and truely scratched - still is - lets be honest I am not quite on the home straight yet.
And that is not to say that in 50 years time I might be ready to come back here and retire.
Who knows. My extended family are of course all still here or in Aust.


I am not sure what to suggest kentishlass - but can just offer hugs.
Is there any chance that your children would actually be interested in going back now. Look at putting them in the year below so that they don't lose out on schooling and moving etc.
We will be doing that. (but then our eldest is still at primary school).

I do truely believe though, that for my family to be happy then myself and my OH need to be in a good place, otherwise the stess just runs down the family and effects the kids.
A happy wife is a happy life (as a good friend tells me).

IMO part of the problem is that NZ doesn't suck enough . If there were regular riots and squads hunting down British immigrants, you'd have the push factor to move. The fact is it's not a bad place to live...just... well....it's NZ.

My mum is a BE living in NZ and she maintains she has been bored for years there. The main reason she hasn't gone back to the UK, imo, is the lifestyle and she doesnt' have the courage after living out of it for so long. Most of her kids have left. But living somewhere and being bored out of your mind doesn't seem like much of a life to me, even if it is 'easy'.

KEntish, I think if you are really this unhappy now - on a regular basis, not just occasionally - you should get out. yes it's a pain and yes it will Uproot the Children, but who knows, they will probably go back to the UK for experience anyway at some point. I agree with the old lady you met. The longer you stay, the harder it'll be.

couldn't have said it better myself.

Thanks for all your helpful comments.
My trip back with my 14 yr old daughter ( in just 5weeks now!) will hopefully help a lot. Thinking it might be a good idea for me to contact the local secondary school there and see if she can go in as a visitor for one day with an old friend of hers. It will show her what school is like there (not all Vicky Pollard...I hope! or Catherine Tate..Am I bothered?) and it will give me an idea of how Uk and NZ schools differ at that age.
You're right that NZ isn't so terrible. There are much worse places. It makes me feel a bit ungrateful that we do have a nice place here and that a lot of people are a lot worse of all over the world. Makes me feel like a spoilt brat.My first few years I could have screamed 'Get me Out of Here!' but I have had a job in the last few years that I really enjoy.
It just seems that I haven't 'got going' here. Back home I did so much but due to lack of people and interest here, there's very little going on.
By the way did I mention that I going back in 5 weeks.....

lol... i know what you are feeling ...i have a 14 year old son. we have nailed it down to feb 2011. I am in contact with the head of year 10 in our "local" area. We will see how that goes. We are not going back for family as much as it is a long term goal. Son wants college/uni in the UK and Hubby and i want the life style of travel when we are older. btw the school head has been good help so far.


Good luck

reeni

Kentishlass - you are not alone in feeling that you are acting a little 'spoilt' as NZ is fine.
But just really boring and insipid - well I find that anyhow. Many people love it here (like my family - lol).

Go and check out the schools and see.
She might be really up for the idea and challange of it.
I know that I moved my daughter from one primary school to another (okay a little different I accept) in the area, as the first one wasn't challenging her at all.
She mentioned it to her new teacher yesterday apparently. THat she enjoyed the difference in teaching - and she is only in year 3.

As I have mentioned before, I am from here and I want out.
Its not that I hate here - I just much prefer somewhere else, and as we only get one shot at it (life that is) I am going for what I prefer.

Preferring somewhere else isn't a crime.

If all the world loved just one spot - imagine how crowded it would be.

Hey those are my sentiments.

I have to make it clear when I speak to the locals so as they are not offended.

My ancestors left Wales because the ship building died and moved over to England to find work.
On the maternal side, my grandfather left Prussia to go to medical school in Edinburgh. He married an English girl who apparently goes back for ever in England.
All my grandchildren are American.

You shouldn't have said anything about NZ being dull.......look what just happened..........a big earthquake on the South Island.

I hope you are all safe...........

I have been in Canada for over 2 years and im looking for a way home..i have a good job with money a nice house and my family..i am waitng for the economy to turn round so can move back home and still be altogether..its all very complicated so we are waiting for the right time.