fishfinger

I spend well over $1000 on my food shopping a month and that's not eating as healthy as I'd like to, far from it unfortunately. Unlike England, I find I have to shop all over the place to get good prices.

themindbomb

Hello All,
just found this forum tonight while searching for some relevant info on moving back to the uk. I'm moving back in a month after living in Canada for thirty sum years. I have never liked it here, and can't wait to get back home. I'll be moving to wales myself.

I'm really after a simpler life, i was thinking of Ireland somewhere in the south but after meeting someone who lives in Wales i've decided to move to be closer to her. And where she lives its like time has not taken its tole on the simple life.

I don't need much to live and am vegan so i'm not so worried about food prices etc. And i really don't care about the game of getting somewhere i did that here and am sick of the relentless pace one has to keep to try and so called win.

Give me a roof over my head and some tools and i'll build violins and be happy with little.

Hope those who are making the move find what they are looking for,
themindbomb

Londonuck

Same here mate. We came back in 2004 after emigrating in '98. At first it was great but then went back to the work work work lifestyle and it has become very scary here and i grew up in S. London and was used to a nit of aggro. I also understand what the people are saying about feeling like they've retired but the day to day things were so chilled and relaxed. People were friendly and i never saw a fight in 6 odd years. Now im 40 i wish i was doing it again. At 30, with a good social life, it was too early. I truly hate living here now and we're going off again at the end of the year. My wife has a masters now so there'll be more work chances for her. I worked for the Vancouver Courier and North Shore news while there. Im not a Daily Mail reader or a person who blames immigrants, its just so aggressive here.

nohinsara

Oh I'm so happy I've found this forum, and especially this thread!

I've noticed there are a lot of us "longing for England" types in British Columbia. I wonder why that is?

Like a lot of you I'm just dying here in Canada. The difference is I was born and raised here (dual national) and spent a few precious years in London and Ireland. As they say, "home is where the heart is", right?

I've been BEGGING my (Canadian) hubby for 4 years now to move to England with me. He is being very difficult, wants to stay here more than anything. Drives me flipping mental.

I hear so many self deprecating Brits tell me I'm mad to be longing for England as I do, and that Canada is so great in comparison... funny how these people are living in the UK though and have never lived here!
I find it SO DULL here, the people are shallow and down right mean (Someone once told me that Vancouver was nice, too bad the people weren't!), the real estate is absolutely ridiculous (yes, I know it is in England too), the food cost ludicrous. I miss European lifestyle. I miss good retail therapy. I miss battenberg cake.
I near hate living in Canada for so many more reasons, I could go on and on.

We have a son now (7 months old) so I'm struggling with the complications of how to get him and hubby to the UK. It's maddening I tell you!

If any of you other BC residents want to get together to complain about how much it sucks to live here, let me know! I live in Richmond. As for those of you that are going back I'M SO JEALOUS!!!

themindbomb

Hi nohinsara,
I just found the forum yesterday and felt very thankful that i wasn't alone in my feeling that i didn't belong here in Canada. I've been here since i was 4, now being 40, and never felt i belonged at all. Every day has been a struggle but never understood why. Because i was very young i never made the connection with it being that i wanted to move back home.

I wandered around Canada trying to find home like a gypsy. till 6 months ago i met some nice people from Ireland. They talked about home, and omg it was like a light went on. I was going to move to the south of ireland to find a little shack somewhere and build violins. And just hide from the rest of the world. since then, i met a wonderful woman in Wales. And that sense of home had gotten even stronger.

I feel like everything i had been missing my entire life all of a sudden was given back to me. My parents meant well and thought there was a better life here in Canada for their family and i get that since i have a 17 year old son. But success to one person can be hell for another. I'm moving in 31 days, and counting. I will be with my special someone and we will be able to walk along the sea side and through the snowdonia park.

Home is absolutely where the heart is. It is tough when you are married to someone who doesn't understand this and is possibly chasing some dream. I would sit down with him, and pour your heart out, let him know what is important to you, and how you are dying every day you are here. It definitely felt like that for me here for 36 years...

I wish you luck and hope you make it back home
themindbomb

ann m

hello themindbomb - and welcome to BE

While I wish you all the best in Wales, I'm intrigued by your posts. I hope you have visited Wales to check out your new home. I can't think you have much of a memory from when you were 4 or a feeling on belonging to the UK based on your brief childhood there and so I am guessing you have maybe returned often and just simply feel happier in the UK? That much-sought-after sense of wellbeing ...

Could it be that your new life feels more exciting because there is a new special someone in it? Maybe what you felt was lacking or a sense of not belonging in Canada was down to a feeling of loneliness or not in touch with a community/family/relationship. I only say this as you mention that a shack in Ireland and hiding away from the world would also have been an ideal lifestyle for you - maybe you do not make friends easily? You hit the nail on the head with 'home is where the heart is'. You've found a new 'heart' and I really do wish you all the best - but I do hope you are not wearing those rose tinted glasses that we are all warned about wearing when trying to make the journey in the other direction !

nohinsara

themindbomb - your post really reaches me on a personal level. I feel for you - I cannot imagine going through this hell everyday for 36 years! I'm so happy for you that you're going back, and that things are working out for you - I can't imagine how excited you must be and the sense of relief! How wonderful that you will have a woman in your life who understands. I wish my husband were as understanding. I'm very worried that I will end up stuck here for years and years. The thought makes me feel ill. It's been about 5 years since I left Ireland and it feels like 20.

I have told him many many times that being here is making me crazy. I cry on him all the time. I've poured my heart out to him time and time again. We even go to couselling. I try to make him understand what it would be like to only know half of your heritage (my father was British - but I don't know him, never have - long story! ), and to long for a place where you feel at peace. He just doesn't get it, and I'm afraid he never will. I also have few friends here that understand.

Had it not been for my son, I wonder sometimes if I would have considered divorce. It's hard to be with someone that can't understand what your heart needs. But we have James now, and I simply cannot up and leave the country with him. I think they call that kidnapping.

Plus there's also the well being of my son to think about. I've heard many say that Canada is so much better for raising a child, but since I've been looking around this forum I'm seeing some people saying the reverse, especially when it comes to education. I wonder what your parents thought was a better life here as opposed to there...

Anyway, I'm blithering on here. Sorry!

fishfinger

My friend, who is Canadian but moved to England when she was in her teens, decided to come back to Canada to live a few years ago. They lasted 2 years and hated it. Education was a main factor for her and also kids lack of discipline. Thanfully she was married to a Brit who was quite happy to live anywhere so they headed back to England and they are much happier.

I hope you can persuade hubby to give it a try. Unfortunately I have witnesed 2 couples splitting up over which country they want to live in. I really think that when you move to another country you do open up a can of worms. Thankfully, my husband feels the same way I do about Canada.

subdude

Ok, ok I realize now that it's futile to defend Vancouver and Canada, Britain and it's culture are far superior in very aspect, you win

Before condemning Granville Island outright for those who might not have experienced it yet, and since we're on the subject of hams (something I never really saw myself ever writing about) I invite you to try out the Oyama Sausage Co. on GI first: oyamasausage dot ca

themindbomb

hello ann m,

I hear your concerns and i would be concerned also if someone would of told me the same. I was planning on moving before i met her. Meeting her was completely unexpected. And it is true i don't make friends easily. My needs are non existant when it comes to being social. Not that i can't be social. I just can't connect with most people as they seem so alien to me. there are no Rose colored lenses to look at life through in my case.

I Do Love my special someone with an intensity that i haven't known before and we are the same in so many respects that it seems like the heavens opened up and placed her here just for me. And it has expidited my plans for my move. We do plan on holding seperate residences and allow the relationship to evolve at its own natural pace without added stress of the need to be together for other reasons then Love.

We are both very logical in many respects but we are also heart centered. Its all about balance. And i think we have taken the practicle things into account.

The pull to be home has been with me for so long. And meeting my special someone is even a stronger bond then a place she could of been anywhere in the world i'm just glad she is where she is,

themindbomb

ann m

I really do wish you all the best

fishfinger

Glad we agree on something!

Thanks for the link, I'll take a look.

nohinsara

You know what makes me mad is that in the begining of the relationship, when I was unsure of if he was for me, I told him that we probably wanted different things. From the start he has known that this is what I want. When I told him that he insisted that it's what he wanted too. Urg!

I am secretly hoping that I can get my husband to agree to go to the UK with me and then I'm praying he will fall in love with living there. My chances are kinda slim, but a girl can dream. I guess if we do go through with it and get over to the UK, I am asking for that can of worms to be opened up (so to speak), but I'm so desparate that I almost don't care anymore.

So, Fishfinger, how many days left to go? You lucky devil you.

themindbomb

Hello nohinsara,
been thinking about you today. which seems odd now doesn't it... While married I wanted to move to England but my ex didn't. Her family was here and she couldn't bare to be away from them. She didn't understand why i wanted to move and really i didn't at the time either. The relationship took presidence over any of my personal needs, not only my need for a place to call home. The relationship failed 11 years later. And Then my son, and her needs financially took center stage. 18 years later i am able to make choices for myself and my special someone i've met. She is completely supportive of anything i think i need to do, *a bit teary about it* my happiness is so important to her as hers is to me.

When we get into a relationship under the assumption that they would eaqually care about our happiness as we do theirs and find out that its not the truth, it can be devistating. However we made the choice be it a missguided one. Your hubby is obviousely attached to something here in Canada. One of the biggest things we can do for our segnificant others is understand them and what drives their behaviors. We need to know whether their attachments are that of fear of something or because of something that they are doing means something to them. Are they happy? or are they attached to a dream of what will be and see where they are as a means to achieve this. What will they get if they achieve this, and are they willing to risk loosing us to achieve this.

Before we can act congruent to our nature we need to understand what drives our segnificant others. You may find that you are both looking for the same thing but in different ways. Life would be easy if we could act independently of all outside influences, but life isn't that easy.

When we see others achieving what we dream of we can become angry and act out of our true nature and make choices that won't even support us. Take your time, your anger and frustration is understandable. However actions that result from these feelings won't support you.

your in my thoughts,
themindbomb

nohinsara

Sorry everyone, I didn't mean to hyjack this thread!

Mindbomb - Thank you for your post. It's comforting to know that there's someone out there that's gone through the same thing I am.

I do understand my hubby and his reasons for not wanting to go. He's totally afraid. He doesn't want us to fail and not be able to feed the baby, be destitute. He has no faith in himself for finding work (which is ridiculous), or in my ability to make it work whatever it takes. He's very passive aggressive and trying to get away with not addressing the issue. It's coming to the point now that he's starting to get it that he can't get out of this one. He agreed to go in the beginning, and I'm holding him to his word. The couselling is helping us with this. Now I only have to worry about the details of getting there, organise the whole thing, and hope to hell that he doesn't sabotage it!

Like Fishfinger said.... it can open up a whole can of worms when two people want to live in different countries!