Me and My Family
May 11th 2018, 9:10 pm
#1384
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2014
Location: NZ
Posts: 82
Re: Me and My Family
"She could kick me into touch and snare a better prize,"
OP As my wife always says a Filipino will never touch a woman with kids, it is only the foreign devils who don't consider it a big deal, just as you don't seem to mind the sudden appearance of your scone grabbers. She appears to be a bullshitter of some standing but the reality of her finding another foreign devil to play her game are not promising. There are literally millions of beautiful women in the Philippines trawling the waters for their catch of a lifetime.
You are playing a very defensive game for whatever reason, you are not dead yet and believe you have many years to enjoy. You could "kick her into touch and snare a far far better prize".
As for the pawning, you should understand that whatever robbing of Peter to pay Paul she is doing , there is no asset there and you should advise her to cash up and pull whatever is left out of her so called enterprise and stop trying to be a big shot. You may say that it is none of your business but if you continue to let her blow what little she has you are doing her a disservice. If a couple, after years of being together cannot have a discussion, argument or fistfight over their finances then something is wrong. Filipinas talk to their expert mates and think they know it all, every day my wife asks me about some bullshit she has read or people have said and every day I tell her not to believe a word because 99% of those people do not have a clue and if she wants real advice then she will have to pay a lot of money for it and hopefully they are close to being right. You may find that your LL's financials are so screwed up that she has no real idea which way to go and is grasping at straws hoping that she can see her way through. Personally I think you are remiss in not sitting her down and getting the whole deal sorted, saying it is not your problem is a bit shameful if you really do intend to spend the rest of your days with her. The idea of always trying to catch her out seems strange as well, even having worked overseas your LL will still be amazingly naive as are the majority and what you assume they should know is no where near the truth of it. If you are not willing to point out options other than what her ill informed friends give her then you cannot really complain if she tries to shortcut or bullshit her way to where she thinks she should be going.
Pawn brokers do not pay on 75% of the value, if I did a deal with someone on anything I would never give them 75% of the value even if I was trying to help them. The old system has not changed much for a risk business like that or many others, value of goods a third, holding costs a third and profit a third. If you find a pawn broker in the Philippines that works on a much different scale I would be amazed. 2.79% is 33.38% per anum so from when she started pawning she will having nothing in a lot less than three years all things considered.
I have a fuse obviously about 26 kilometers shorter than yours because in my case I would have been yelling and screaming at her years ago but all credit to you for being so calm and accepting. I think that's one of the reasons everyone is so flabbergasted about your reactions to events.
I agree with most others here that your LL may be lacking in judgement and loyalty to you but it seems that your fear of confronting the issues and getting your lives on the right track may be the bigger problem. Just because you are 65 and looking for a cushy existence does not mean you have to tuck your balls away for the duration. You can take all the crap that we on the forum give you and have only bitten once so I am sure you could sort the situation very quickly if you really wanted to.
It is not only Filipinos that give crap advice you can also add me to the 99% who do not have a clue about what they are talking about.
Have a great day, Regards Mike
OP As my wife always says a Filipino will never touch a woman with kids, it is only the foreign devils who don't consider it a big deal, just as you don't seem to mind the sudden appearance of your scone grabbers. She appears to be a bullshitter of some standing but the reality of her finding another foreign devil to play her game are not promising. There are literally millions of beautiful women in the Philippines trawling the waters for their catch of a lifetime.
You are playing a very defensive game for whatever reason, you are not dead yet and believe you have many years to enjoy. You could "kick her into touch and snare a far far better prize".
As for the pawning, you should understand that whatever robbing of Peter to pay Paul she is doing , there is no asset there and you should advise her to cash up and pull whatever is left out of her so called enterprise and stop trying to be a big shot. You may say that it is none of your business but if you continue to let her blow what little she has you are doing her a disservice. If a couple, after years of being together cannot have a discussion, argument or fistfight over their finances then something is wrong. Filipinas talk to their expert mates and think they know it all, every day my wife asks me about some bullshit she has read or people have said and every day I tell her not to believe a word because 99% of those people do not have a clue and if she wants real advice then she will have to pay a lot of money for it and hopefully they are close to being right. You may find that your LL's financials are so screwed up that she has no real idea which way to go and is grasping at straws hoping that she can see her way through. Personally I think you are remiss in not sitting her down and getting the whole deal sorted, saying it is not your problem is a bit shameful if you really do intend to spend the rest of your days with her. The idea of always trying to catch her out seems strange as well, even having worked overseas your LL will still be amazingly naive as are the majority and what you assume they should know is no where near the truth of it. If you are not willing to point out options other than what her ill informed friends give her then you cannot really complain if she tries to shortcut or bullshit her way to where she thinks she should be going.
Pawn brokers do not pay on 75% of the value, if I did a deal with someone on anything I would never give them 75% of the value even if I was trying to help them. The old system has not changed much for a risk business like that or many others, value of goods a third, holding costs a third and profit a third. If you find a pawn broker in the Philippines that works on a much different scale I would be amazed. 2.79% is 33.38% per anum so from when she started pawning she will having nothing in a lot less than three years all things considered.
I have a fuse obviously about 26 kilometers shorter than yours because in my case I would have been yelling and screaming at her years ago but all credit to you for being so calm and accepting. I think that's one of the reasons everyone is so flabbergasted about your reactions to events.
I agree with most others here that your LL may be lacking in judgement and loyalty to you but it seems that your fear of confronting the issues and getting your lives on the right track may be the bigger problem. Just because you are 65 and looking for a cushy existence does not mean you have to tuck your balls away for the duration. You can take all the crap that we on the forum give you and have only bitten once so I am sure you could sort the situation very quickly if you really wanted to.
It is not only Filipinos that give crap advice you can also add me to the 99% who do not have a clue about what they are talking about.
Have a great day, Regards Mike
May 11th 2018, 9:14 pm
#1385
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Buraydah , Saudi Arabia
Posts: 2,863
Re: Me and My Family
"She could kick me into touch and snare a better prize,"
OP As my wife always says a Filipino will never touch a woman with kids, it is only the foreign devils who don't consider it a big deal, just as you don't seem to mind the sudden appearance of your scone grabbers. She appears to be a bullshitter of some standing but the reality of her finding another foreign devil to play her game are not promising. There are literally millions of beautiful women in the Philippines trawling the waters for their catch of a lifetime.
You are playing a very defensive game for whatever reason, you are not dead yet and believe you have many years to enjoy. You could "kick her into touch and snare a far far better prize".
As for the pawning, you should understand that whatever robbing of Peter to pay Paul she is doing , there is no asset there and you should advise her to cash up and pull whatever is left out of her so called enterprise and stop trying to be a big shot. You may say that it is none of your business but if you continue to let her blow what little she has you are doing her a disservice. If a couple, after years of being together cannot have a discussion, argument or fistfight over their finances then something is wrong. Filipinas talk to their expert mates and think they know it all, every day my wife asks me about some bullshit she has read or people have said and every day I tell her not to believe a word because 99% of those people do not have a clue and if she wants real advice then she will have to pay a lot of money for it and hopefully they are close to being right. You may find that your LL's financials are so screwed up that she has no real idea which way to go and is grasping at straws hoping that she can see her way through. Personally I think you are remiss in not sitting her down and getting the whole deal sorted, saying it is not your problem is a bit shameful if you really do intend to spend the rest of your days with her. The idea of always trying to catch her out seems strange as well, even having worked overseas your LL will still be amazingly naive as are the majority and what you assume they should know is no where near the truth of it. If you are not willing to point out options other than what her ill informed friends give her then you cannot really complain if she tries to shortcut or bullshit her way to where she thinks she should be going.
Pawn brokers do not pay on 75% of the value, if I did a deal with someone on anything I would never give them 75% of the value even if I was trying to help them. The old system has not changed much for a risk business like that or many others, value of goods a third, holding costs a third and profit a third. If you find a pawn broker in the Philippines that works on a much different scale I would be amazed. 2.79% is 33.38% per anum so from when she started pawning she will having nothing in a lot less than three years all things considered.
I have a fuse obviously about 26 kilometers shorter than yours because in my case I would have been yelling and screaming at her years ago but all credit to you for being so calm and accepting. I think that's one of the reasons everyone is so flabbergasted about your reactions to events.
I agree with most others here that your LL may be lacking in judgement and loyalty to you but it seems that your fear of confronting the issues and getting your lives on the right track may be the bigger problem. Just because you are 65 and looking for a cushy existence does not mean you have to tuck your balls away for the duration. You can take all the crap that we on the forum give you and have only bitten once so I am sure you could sort the situation very quickly if you really wanted to.
It is not only Filipinos that give crap advice you can also add me to the 99% who do not have a clue about what they are talking about.
Have a great day, Regards Mike
OP As my wife always says a Filipino will never touch a woman with kids, it is only the foreign devils who don't consider it a big deal, just as you don't seem to mind the sudden appearance of your scone grabbers. She appears to be a bullshitter of some standing but the reality of her finding another foreign devil to play her game are not promising. There are literally millions of beautiful women in the Philippines trawling the waters for their catch of a lifetime.
You are playing a very defensive game for whatever reason, you are not dead yet and believe you have many years to enjoy. You could "kick her into touch and snare a far far better prize".
As for the pawning, you should understand that whatever robbing of Peter to pay Paul she is doing , there is no asset there and you should advise her to cash up and pull whatever is left out of her so called enterprise and stop trying to be a big shot. You may say that it is none of your business but if you continue to let her blow what little she has you are doing her a disservice. If a couple, after years of being together cannot have a discussion, argument or fistfight over their finances then something is wrong. Filipinas talk to their expert mates and think they know it all, every day my wife asks me about some bullshit she has read or people have said and every day I tell her not to believe a word because 99% of those people do not have a clue and if she wants real advice then she will have to pay a lot of money for it and hopefully they are close to being right. You may find that your LL's financials are so screwed up that she has no real idea which way to go and is grasping at straws hoping that she can see her way through. Personally I think you are remiss in not sitting her down and getting the whole deal sorted, saying it is not your problem is a bit shameful if you really do intend to spend the rest of your days with her. The idea of always trying to catch her out seems strange as well, even having worked overseas your LL will still be amazingly naive as are the majority and what you assume they should know is no where near the truth of it. If you are not willing to point out options other than what her ill informed friends give her then you cannot really complain if she tries to shortcut or bullshit her way to where she thinks she should be going.
Pawn brokers do not pay on 75% of the value, if I did a deal with someone on anything I would never give them 75% of the value even if I was trying to help them. The old system has not changed much for a risk business like that or many others, value of goods a third, holding costs a third and profit a third. If you find a pawn broker in the Philippines that works on a much different scale I would be amazed. 2.79% is 33.38% per anum so from when she started pawning she will having nothing in a lot less than three years all things considered.
I have a fuse obviously about 26 kilometers shorter than yours because in my case I would have been yelling and screaming at her years ago but all credit to you for being so calm and accepting. I think that's one of the reasons everyone is so flabbergasted about your reactions to events.
I agree with most others here that your LL may be lacking in judgement and loyalty to you but it seems that your fear of confronting the issues and getting your lives on the right track may be the bigger problem. Just because you are 65 and looking for a cushy existence does not mean you have to tuck your balls away for the duration. You can take all the crap that we on the forum give you and have only bitten once so I am sure you could sort the situation very quickly if you really wanted to.
It is not only Filipinos that give crap advice you can also add me to the 99% who do not have a clue about what they are talking about.
Have a great day, Regards Mike
May 12th 2018, 1:31 am
#1386
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 466
Re: Me and My Family
There’s a simple solution, why does the L/L simply sell all her jewellery. It’s obvious she has no working capital and the so called business is making little money. Robbing Peter to pay Paul will inevitably lead to total loss of all her funds,and only benefit the pawnbroker.
The L/L may have some sentimental value attached to the jewellery, however in-her dire financial situation common sense should be the number one requisite.I have a notion that her pride is equally as big as the OPs.
The L/L may have some sentimental value attached to the jewellery, however in-her dire financial situation common sense should be the number one requisite.I have a notion that her pride is equally as big as the OPs.
May 12th 2018, 2:28 am
#1387
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
MikeNZ:
Let me take some of your points:
**OP As my wife always says a Filipino will never touch a woman with kids, it is only the foreign devils who don't consider it a big deal** This is exactly what my lovely lady has stated. I don't know for sure but I have no reason to doubt her word. There is a contributor who seems to know better and stated that it is 100% untrue. Guess its down to opinions.
**just as you don't seem to mind the sudden appearance of your scone grabbers.** May I suggest you re-read my account of their sudden appearance. I will leave that there.
**You may say that it is none of your business ** I have previously explained why and will do so again for your benefit. My lovely lady is a fiercely proud and independent woman. If I tried to explain how her business acumen is wrong, then she would not take that kindly and she would not listen. Yes, she would probably listen to friends rather than me. This has been documented here. From the outset, I have told her that investment in gold in the manner she is doing it ...is not an investment. How can it be an investment if she can only realize 75% of its value. Unless she sells privately. This logic has fallen on deaf ears. I can take a horse to water, but I cannot make the horse drink it. Now, what she has at stake is her jewelry. That is her problem....not mine.
**As for the pawning, you should understand that whatever robbing of Peter to pay Paul she is doing ** Do you honestly think I don't understand that? I have explained this before.
**but the reality of her finding another foreign devil to play her game are not promising.** Really? I very much doubt that. She has the looks, charm and personality to attract someone of better financial value than me. If she had wanted to do that, she would have done that a long time ago. I have no great financial value. Why is she still with me?
**"kick her into touch and snare a far far better prize".** Maybe. But I can tell you this, if ever our relationship breaks down irretrievably, I would never trust another Filipina again. Better trust the devil you know.......
**Pawn brokers do not pay on 75% of the value** Wrong....as far as gold jewelry is concerned. Yes, for phones etc because they have no scrap value. Gold jewelry has scrap value which is normally approx. 75% depending on the carat and how ornate the item is. When she started in business, she used to take all her items from new sellers to the pawn brokers to be evaluated. I went with her out of interest, and watched the process. The value of the item was generally what she paid and the value to the broker was about 75%. This is normally 18 carat items and Saudi gold. She steered away from Italian made items because they were more ornate and the scrap value was less.
As I have explained, it is her business and her problem. She has not involved me nor asked me for advice. Yes, she may be heading for a big fall but then its a severe lesson for her to remember in future. It may be that she is keeping the whole thing from me because she now realizes I was correct about her gold investments and is too embarrassed to come clean. Losing face in the Phils as we all know is a big issue.
Finally Mike, thanks for your comments. I have answered the best I can, and look forward to your future inputs.
Regards
Let me take some of your points:
**OP As my wife always says a Filipino will never touch a woman with kids, it is only the foreign devils who don't consider it a big deal** This is exactly what my lovely lady has stated. I don't know for sure but I have no reason to doubt her word. There is a contributor who seems to know better and stated that it is 100% untrue. Guess its down to opinions.
**just as you don't seem to mind the sudden appearance of your scone grabbers.** May I suggest you re-read my account of their sudden appearance. I will leave that there.
**You may say that it is none of your business ** I have previously explained why and will do so again for your benefit. My lovely lady is a fiercely proud and independent woman. If I tried to explain how her business acumen is wrong, then she would not take that kindly and she would not listen. Yes, she would probably listen to friends rather than me. This has been documented here. From the outset, I have told her that investment in gold in the manner she is doing it ...is not an investment. How can it be an investment if she can only realize 75% of its value. Unless she sells privately. This logic has fallen on deaf ears. I can take a horse to water, but I cannot make the horse drink it. Now, what she has at stake is her jewelry. That is her problem....not mine.
**As for the pawning, you should understand that whatever robbing of Peter to pay Paul she is doing ** Do you honestly think I don't understand that? I have explained this before.
**but the reality of her finding another foreign devil to play her game are not promising.** Really? I very much doubt that. She has the looks, charm and personality to attract someone of better financial value than me. If she had wanted to do that, she would have done that a long time ago. I have no great financial value. Why is she still with me?
**"kick her into touch and snare a far far better prize".** Maybe. But I can tell you this, if ever our relationship breaks down irretrievably, I would never trust another Filipina again. Better trust the devil you know.......
**Pawn brokers do not pay on 75% of the value** Wrong....as far as gold jewelry is concerned. Yes, for phones etc because they have no scrap value. Gold jewelry has scrap value which is normally approx. 75% depending on the carat and how ornate the item is. When she started in business, she used to take all her items from new sellers to the pawn brokers to be evaluated. I went with her out of interest, and watched the process. The value of the item was generally what she paid and the value to the broker was about 75%. This is normally 18 carat items and Saudi gold. She steered away from Italian made items because they were more ornate and the scrap value was less.
As I have explained, it is her business and her problem. She has not involved me nor asked me for advice. Yes, she may be heading for a big fall but then its a severe lesson for her to remember in future. It may be that she is keeping the whole thing from me because she now realizes I was correct about her gold investments and is too embarrassed to come clean. Losing face in the Phils as we all know is a big issue.
Finally Mike, thanks for your comments. I have answered the best I can, and look forward to your future inputs.
Regards
May 12th 2018, 3:12 am
#1388
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
Mikek1:
**and the so called business is making little money.** How do you know that? Perhaps you know how much she is funding her family and how much jewelry she is buying. Because I don't.
Regards
**and the so called business is making little money.** How do you know that? Perhaps you know how much she is funding her family and how much jewelry she is buying. Because I don't.
Regards
May 12th 2018, 4:46 am
#1389
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2014
Location: NZ
Posts: 82
Re: Me and My Family
Hi OP, seems a shame that if your relationship does not work out then you will never trust a Filipina again. I have been married three times and always said I would not do it again. Now I have the perfect wife for me.
Must be a bit sad not to be able to discuss your financial future with your partner but if it does not worry you why not.
I have looked up your location and it is a place I could be happy so I suppose for as you say 1% of grief then that is just the price you have to pay.
All hail your ability to gracefully take all the criticism heaped on you, if it were me my bottom lip would be dragging on the ground and quite possibly hospitalized with lip rash.
Keep up the commentary and good work then as Bealinehx says we will have a soap opera of epic proportions. Brilliant. Have a great day, Regards Mike
Must be a bit sad not to be able to discuss your financial future with your partner but if it does not worry you why not.
I have looked up your location and it is a place I could be happy so I suppose for as you say 1% of grief then that is just the price you have to pay.
All hail your ability to gracefully take all the criticism heaped on you, if it were me my bottom lip would be dragging on the ground and quite possibly hospitalized with lip rash.
Keep up the commentary and good work then as Bealinehx says we will have a soap opera of epic proportions. Brilliant. Have a great day, Regards Mike
May 12th 2018, 5:04 am
#1390
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
MikeNZ:
Thanks for your kind words!
I should make it clear that I have discussed my financial future with her which is basically, buy this house (if we can...which I doubt), make her more secure by providing two pensions for her and on my passing, provide her with her entitlement to my Military Pension and the benefits of my State Pension as a widow. I am also paying into a St Peters Plan. With that support, she can concentrate providing for her family from her business.
Yes...my location is perfect. A few ales during the late afternoon/early evening with a cool sea breeze makes it all worth while.
Thanks again
Thanks for your kind words!
I should make it clear that I have discussed my financial future with her which is basically, buy this house (if we can...which I doubt), make her more secure by providing two pensions for her and on my passing, provide her with her entitlement to my Military Pension and the benefits of my State Pension as a widow. I am also paying into a St Peters Plan. With that support, she can concentrate providing for her family from her business.
Yes...my location is perfect. A few ales during the late afternoon/early evening with a cool sea breeze makes it all worth while.
Thanks again
May 12th 2018, 6:10 am
#1391
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,643
Re: Me and My Family
''This is exactly what my lovely lady has stated. I don't know for sure but I have no reason to doubt her word. There is a contributor who seems to know better and stated that it is 100% untrue. Guess its down to opinions.''
Not an opinion, my sister in law bf of 16 years has done just that with her two,kids. The other sister in law similar position with her partner of 20 years, she has 1 daughter. facts not opinions
''fiercely proud'' aren't they all!!
I have paced all my assets in my asawa name for the simple reason our children will benefit. Plus I have now found she now takes the finances far more seriously.
Not an opinion, my sister in law bf of 16 years has done just that with her two,kids. The other sister in law similar position with her partner of 20 years, she has 1 daughter. facts not opinions
''fiercely proud'' aren't they all!!
I have paced all my assets in my asawa name for the simple reason our children will benefit. Plus I have now found she now takes the finances far more seriously.
Last edited by mikemike; May 12th 2018 at 6:13 am.
May 12th 2018, 6:53 am
#1392
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 466
Re: Me and My Family
We have lived here for 18 months and done everything by the book, obtained the appropriate visa, driving license and most importantly run our BDO bank account exemplary. Our credit card limit has just been doubled to 600k and if we needed any form of loan we have been-advised that it would be a certainty, they want our business.
If your L/L ran her operation with a long term view, surly the way to go is to run her business in a professional manner and stop all the innuendo and do it correctly.
May 12th 2018, 11:19 am
#1393
Concierge
Joined: Jan 2013
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 21,140
Re: Me and My Family
MikeNZ:
Thanks for your kind words!
I should make it clear that I have discussed my financial future with her which is basically, buy this house (if we can...which I doubt), make her more secure by providing two pensions for her and on my passing, provide her with her entitlement to my Military Pension and the benefits of my State Pension as a widow. I am also paying into a St Peters Plan. With that support, she can concentrate providing for her family from her business.
Yes...my location is perfect. A few ales during the late afternoon/early evening with a cool sea breeze makes it all worth while.
Thanks again
Thanks for your kind words!
I should make it clear that I have discussed my financial future with her which is basically, buy this house (if we can...which I doubt), make her more secure by providing two pensions for her and on my passing, provide her with her entitlement to my Military Pension and the benefits of my State Pension as a widow. I am also paying into a St Peters Plan. With that support, she can concentrate providing for her family from her business.
Yes...my location is perfect. A few ales during the late afternoon/early evening with a cool sea breeze makes it all worth while.
Thanks again
May 12th 2018, 11:50 am
#1395
Concierge
Joined: Jan 2013
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 21,140
Re: Me and My Family
Because she doesn't meet the criteria under the new rules. There's no such thing as a 'widows pension' anymore. She has no NI contributions record of her own. She didn't reach UK State pension age before 6 April 2016. She doesn't live in the UK.
She won't be eligible for anything at all. Google has lots of info.
Edit: Sorry, the Philippines is a country that UK bereavement support may be paid if the surviving partner meets all other criteria. Bereavement support is paid for a maximum of 18 months.
She won't be eligible for anything at all. Google has lots of info.
Edit: Sorry, the Philippines is a country that UK bereavement support may be paid if the surviving partner meets all other criteria. Bereavement support is paid for a maximum of 18 months.
Last edited by spouse of scouse; May 12th 2018 at 12:12 pm.