MikeNZ

Hi again ,

Must also consider value of cars, house contents etc for a bit of leverage in negotiations.

Get hold of a couple of real estate agents to give you a realistic valuation so you know where you stand and check the internet for sales in your area.

She may want a registered valuation but they will always be lower than the actual sales value to ensure banks never lose so don't go with that value at the end.

Don't know what values are high or low but as long as you buy on the same market you will be fine.

Maybe with Brexit it may be a good time to buy good quality dividend paying shares if another house is not feasible.

My 2 cents Sell the house start again and do it soon.

If you buy again put in a Trust if possible.

Don't worry about what she has put as reasons for the divorce, my second wife a Filipini had 40 reasons, from having affairs to smelling like I had just showered when getting home, to being afraid of me ra ra ra, man I was pissed off with all the bulls--t but now just a joke . Had nothing to do with final settlement. She tried for two years to get half my property which was in trust and failed. Ended up with less than half of what I offered her at the start.

Cost me over $15000 dollars though and two years of aggravation.

Regards Mike

MikeNZ

Sorry
Hi last rant from me.

Lawyers only know the legislation they have read, therefore if they have not learnt the legislation and that area of law is their speciality they do not have a bloody clue and will make shit up.

Certain lawyers will also lead you astray so I do apologise to all the competant lawyers out there who may read this.

I know this for a fact because for my second divorce I went to my usual lawyer who recommended a woman in the same practice who worked only in matrimonial law. That piece of work told me that my Trust meant nothing and that my second wife was entitled to half of everything.

I spoke to my father and he suggested I speak to his lawyer which I did. Upshot being she was either just dumb or a bullshitter because in the end my ex had no claim at all because the trust was set up before I met her.

One instance you say, well in the 90s I was a cop in NZ and before I left I was a Sergeant in Prosecutions in South Auckland. No special training just winging it. There were the lawyers who were brilliant maybe 20% the rest were plonkers who did not have a clue. Their ploy was to go not guilty with all their criminal clients, see if the Police witnesses all turned up on the day, if they did they would change the plea to guilty wasting everyones time. Some of those losers would turn up and have never read their clients files.

Some of these dodgy lawyers in dodgy practices were getting literally millions each year in legal aid payments payments from the Government. After I left some were disbarred for being unable to account for some of this money.

The rest of the time they were trying to make deals with charges which they had no idea about, some did not even know the ingredients of specific crimes.

The crims with brains defended themselves because the judge would always feel obliged to assist the crim. A judge will never try to help a Police Prosecuter.

Another 2 cents worth, do not ask your lawyer for advice, tell him or her what you want to happen and ask them for the legilation which prevents this outcome.

They charge shitloads per hour make them work for it and check the legislation on line and read the caselaw surrounding that legislation to see if there are any chinks in it.

A good lawyer is worth their weight in gold the rest arn't worth tuppence.

Your British system maybe perfect but if ours reflects yours be very careful with your choice and if they don't have the right answers find someone else.

All NZ legislation can be found online not sure about you guys, have a look and I will have a skulk around in your legislation to see if I can find anything.

Regards again Mike

Crystal Dale

Funny that the ungrateful one (Waddling sister), used fake pics and no surprise the guy didn't stick around for long. I'm a bit surprised actually , she hasn't asked if you know any single guys in Uk who might be interested in a fuller figure/poor complexion Filipina, as beauty is only skin deep. However, even she must know that she's not got a snowball's chance in hell of attracting one to fly there, given what we know about her personality no matter how much she would lie etc. She seems very different to your gf, just like my wife/her sister, who has been working in a hospital in Brighton, since March as an A&E nurse. It's hard to believe they're sisters and not just in appearance, and I've mentioned her actually because of what you said about your reluctance to come back over here for any unpleasant but (as it seems),possible/necessary legal proceedings so you can get a fair divorce settlement, but not just because of the extra expense - your gf said she thinks you will go back to be with your wife again, and leave her. Insecurity seems to be a typical Filipina trait when it comes to relationships, (partiularly with a foreign guy even if he's committed to her, with them thinking their man will leave them for someone else. Certainly, my wife has this because she said that when her sister got over here, I would make a play for her because she is 12 years younger/has a career/has no children (Vaness has a 10 years old daughter), is taller whereas Vaness doesn't come up to my shoulder, and has a flat stomach etc. Also, she would be living a damn sight nearer than Phils, although I'm in NOrth West England, 200+ miles away of course. However, my wife has been hurt twice by so called friends stealing her bf's, so her insecurity is perhaps understandable to a certain degree. I'm not even vaguely interested in Florence (as I call her), even if me/Vaness were to split, and her sister wouldn't/isn't interested in me, and getting with a partner's sister is really low although it happens.

Ideally of course, you would have sorted out the divorce before you flew over there, but I'm guessing the lovely lady was perhaps pressurizing you to join her there, sooner rather than later, and needed you to make that commitment in order for her to truly believe you wanted to start a new life, with her and in a foreign country? and maybe she has chatted to other Brits or Americans etc, before you two met but they didn't show enough interest to actually go there, even for a visit. No doubt, there are so many guys online who just pretend they will go to Phils, or Thailand etc to see a girl/maybe eventually marry her that they've been communicating with, when all they really want is a pretty girl to chat to, or you know what.... Understandably, Vaness said I had to go there otherwise she would stop any communication, although I wanted of go despite the distance. Therefore ,of course, I know and understand you were eager to meet in person, the girl you'd been chatting with online, just like I was and after less than a year of our meeting over the web.

I'm sure you will be able to reassure the lovely lady that coming back here is in both your best interests financially, and be able to allay her concerns that you won't return. Anyway, as you said, you miss your boys so if you do have to fly back, it won't be just for the divorce settlement but if you don't have to, or even if you do, could they not visit you there? Maybe they would like to meet your gf/see where you are living etc...? Finally, thanks for the encouragement about starting a thread regards my situation, as for sure there are many in the same sinking ship. A suitable title might be Make sure you can get a Filipina to Uk first, before marrying one in Phils... ?

All the best....

Philosophical 11

Thanks all...again.

Kevin. You say divorce is difficult. I found the time before divorce the most difficult. We had been married 40 years and for the last 5 years or so we drifted apart. We were like 2 strangers in a house. Long story short now. We tried to mend the relationship on numerous occasions which only had a temporary effect. In the last 9 months or so together, my business began to fail so I was not just alone during the evening ....but also during the day. I began to worry about having to spend the next 20 or so years wasting away. I drank too much and lost a lot of weight. I went from 85kg down to 72kg. Went to the doctor because I thought I had the big C or something but that was clear. He offered to prescribe sleeping pills and anti-depressant drugs. I refused and knew I had to move on. We tried again to make the marriage work but tbh my heart was no longer in it. But I was already formulating new plans for a new life and had various options. I took this one. I told my wife it was over and moved out a few days later. 6 weeks later, I landed in the Philippines. I tried to leave amicably. After all, I loved my wife and we had a great time together for the best part of 40 years. The actual process of divorce is like a relief for me. I wish her all the best for the future and I told her I still loved her in my own way. Sadly, our divorce settlement is turning sour. All I want is a fair settlement.....maybe that's too much to ask.

Mike and Dale...will respond to you both later. Pinay alert!

Regards

Philosophical 11

Mike,

Thanks for your reply. Yes, I have added up the value of house contents, sale of our car etc plus how she only gave me a third of our savings. To balance that, I have also disclosed to her solicitor how much I got for the sale of the business. The bottom line is she owes me £2k. Yes....she is trying to screw me and might have me over a barrel. But I got a response today from my solicitor and she says there are reasons where I may not have to attend court. That was her initial reply to my question. Will ask for cost of fees etc and then take it from there. I believe I can defer the hearing until after the divorce which might give my lovely lady more confidence if she can see I am divorced and has a ring on her finger. I have no intention of house purchase in the UK. Maybe here which is dependent on various factors including the financial settlement.

Dale, The waddly one has no chance of getting a foreigner bf. She will have problems even getting a pinoy. She is only 36 btw. Her son (worm boy) is seriously ill according to her and her fb posts. He has a fever caused by a sore throat. Probably got a crisp or something stuck down there. But her fb posts have her praying to the Lord every hour or so. But he is on deaths door...so I shouldn't mock. Doesn't stop him running around chasing our rabbits though.

You ask about my lovely lady pressurizing me to come to Phils. I will tell all of you the full story in another installment in the next day or so. Cannot remember if I have regaled you all with the full story previously. But it gives you an idea also on the 99.9% trust issue. Also, this is my second thread about coming to the Philippines. The first is on page 8. That was aborted.

Dale it sounds as though you have an interesting relationship going on. Something I couldn't do. I would want my wife or g/f with me all the time. I know for some it works, but on the occasion when my lovely lady said she was going back to Kuwait to earn money, I told her it was either Kuwait or me. Maybe unfair. But she is still here. Might be worth a thread....there are others in the same boat as you.

All for now

Best regards all

KevinTREvans

A bit more of a practical question for you.

What is Sipley like? How much would you suggest a monthly income would have to be to live there nicely?

I ask for my own research purposes on possible relocation.

Millhouse

I assume the house is jointly owned.

Little known fact. You can Inform the land registry at any time and without consent of the other person to change from joint ownership to tenants in common.

So... You can go from each owning 100pct of it and the court deciding the outcomes to a straight 50:50 legal ownership. This will really light the fire.

You can then apply to the courts to force a sale to liquidate your half. If there are no kids in the house and you're divorced the liquidation will probably be granted (won't be the case if there are kids in it).

Of course she will go mental and then come after you for the pension or the capital as she will think you have stolen half the house... Which you haven't really but it places your flag in the sand.

Millhouse

Depends on how hungry worm boy is.

quiltman

Stokkevn

I have been divorced twice and seeing the grief some have had on here I feel that I must have got off quite lightly.

Raffin

It started with the dead pig half buried on the beach...and now comes this brutally honest assessment of what might be called the Hull of the Philippines! (Apologies to anyone hailing from that fair city..but it is off the beaten track).

Maybe like some other of your avid readers I couldn't shake off the vision of an Oriental paradise - you know, Mandalay... And now you tell us the last residing Englishman was shot and killed!

But, hang on, I remember a London estate agent called Roy Brooks who operated on the King's Road some years ago. Going against the usual Estate Agent speak he specialised in being being brutally honest in his property descriptions eg "Not entirely devoid of plumbing, the property has one small bathroom with a cold tap. But there are plenty of public baths in Chelsea.".

So I can see a good tourism marketing opportunity here for Negros Occidental aimed at foreigners who are getting bored with Boracay type vacations.

It's all the rage. The Dismaland exhibition in Weston super Mare, organised by the renowned street artist Banksy in 2015, attracted 150,000 visitors, according to Wikipedia!

Philosophical 11

Qucik update...

Got initial contact from my solicitor and she says it will probably cost £3k give or take a bit dependent on the complexity of the case.

I am awaiting initial reply from another solicitor but before I make a decision I am happy to pay for an initial consultation via e.mail to gain professional advice and recommendations.

To recap on my situation: She wants £3 for final settlement and she keeps the house and I keep my full pension. The £3 is for a joint business loan which we took out as joint directors a few years back. I reckon she should be responsible for half of that. The house (fully paid off) is worth about the same as my military pension.

I want instead from her £2k cash settlement. Plus up to 50% the house equity in exchange for an equal %age of my pension. I need the capital. The £2k settlement includes everything but mainly the balance of our joint savings which she held in her name. She only gave me 1/3 instead of 1/2. I had to accept but did not agree.

So, it could pan out in different ways:

1. I give her what she wants....and I am 3k out of pocket.

2. I fight it and lose.....then with solicitors fees I am 6k out of pocket.

3. I fight and win my 2k, then I am only 1k out of pocket....after solicitors fees.

4. I fight and win up to half the house in exchange for up to half my pension, then its bingo.

She is currently living in the house and has a well paid job. She has accrued about 11k in savings and no debts. I have credit card debts and little capital.

I am minded to go for it dependent on the advice I am given.

I was worried about being shafted ..but I think I am being shafted from behind.

Regards

Millhouse

I wouldn't fight over the 2k

But if you really feel strongly on the house. Change the ownership to 50:50. When she gets grumpy say 50pct of the pension.

Then ignore her for weeks.

Philosophical 11

Greetings and Salutations!

The joys of listening to Xmas music for what will seem like an eternity is nearly upon us. So, early Merry Xmas and a blinding New Year to all.

Her family has moved. Despite paying for roof repairs, their loo is now blocked. I was told that someone found a new place (sadly closer to our place) and the rent is cheaper at 2k instead of 3k. Also, it had 3 bedrooms which is more fitting for 4 adults and the equivalent of the Philippines Dr Barnado's home for kids. Had a look yesterday and found it has only 2 bedrooms. The 3rd had been converted into something....I know not what. It has a magnificent size garage which can fit 3 cars so I reckon their motor tricycle will fit there a treat. But it has been converted into an indoor swimming pool....the roof leaks. The house is smaller than the one they have left....but the toilet appears ok. Next door to the local Brgy Arena so they can enjoy all the fun and festivities in their bedroom at silly o'clock in the morning. But my gf saves 1k per month on rent. I say no more.

Her on-line jewelry appears to be drying up. She is gathering as many fb friends as possible to expand her client base. Must be running into a fb record now for fb friends. She took a very large consignment of bathroom toiletries etc from her friend in America. No idea how that works. But my place is now looking like a Sari Sari store. She has thought up another idea which she tried to explain to me. But it got lost in translation and logic. She is selling pawn brokers receipts to her fb friends. I think it goes something like this.....a client has jewelry worth 10k but she can acquire a pawn brokers receipt from my lovely lady showing a value of 14k. So therefore the jewelry will then be worth 14k. Sounds nefarious to me....

Nearly forgot. The landlord wanted 3 months advance rent. So she wanted a 6k advance on her allowance to pay for it. I suggested she pawned some jewelry but that was no good. She would have to pay 3% interest which is 180 peso. No problem...I will just draw from the UK which cost me 300 peso (£ equiv).

Her brother who works about 5 hrs from here has just bought a brand new motor cycle payable over 3 years. He said its a great idea because now when he visits his wife and son living here with his father once per month....he will save 250 peso in bus fares. No idea what he is paying per month for his new acquisition. But it saves 250 peso per month. I nodded in agreement and went away scratching my head.


Best regards all

Merry Xmas

Philosophical 11

Greetings,

Thought I would make a correction to my last post.

I mentioned my lovely lady is selling receipts from a pawnshop. This is how it works and I think its very clever and hats off to her.

The pawnshop here sells off unclaimed jewelry every now and then. She has a look to see what she thinks she can sell, then buys it and then re-pawns it. Then she pays the 3% interest and takes the receipt. The item plus receipt is then advertised for sale. The profit is good. For example: An item is worth 10K but only 6k scrap which is the price she pays. It is then advertised and sold for 8k. Nice profit of 2k for her and the buyer gets it 2k cheaper than its worth. And as the saying goes...everyone is a winner and next year we will be millionaires. The obvious flaw is the monthly interest on unsold items. She has so far "bought" 5 items and sold 3.

I applaud her for her enterprise and business ideas!

Regards