BEVS

Of course you care for her. Anyone can see that. She is a grand master of the flounce , pout and sulk which is a way to control another person if they allow that. It may be she has learnt that in order to survive within her family unit.

You have a hug. Go and get ratfaced and have a cry if needs be. It is not nice to be always on an emotional roller coaster of someone else's making.

You look after you and if she does care for you she will be back and hopefully willing to help alter the dynamics of your relationship.

scrubbedexpat141

The only reason I think you should do it and be a bit firmer next time is that if you don't it'll continue to happen and if I were in your boots I'd be living nervously and feel like I was walking on egg shells.

Still, easy to say from here. Sounds like you know exactly what's happening anyway and it's always hard to describe over the tinterweb.

robbo462003

I think your public diaries are the foundation for a Novella which if you perservered with could be interesting to a wider audience.As you have have generated lots of reader interest on this forum with the accounts of your life I have no advice to offer about relationships having four failed marriages to my credit. I am old and in love with a beautiful young Filipina our relationship is as volatile as yours.It too like the others may end in tears.However it is a risk i am willing to take.Our relationship is constantly buffeted by the winds of her immaturity insecurity poverty and my jealousey .I try to nurturer the love we have. Best wishes to you both

Philosophical 11

Robbo,

Thanks for your message. Although I did not start these blogs with the intention of helping others, I am pleased that my experiences can in some way just do that. I don't regard myself as old (68) and my lovely lady is 34 and should be a mature woman. I have no idea what age your young lady is, but I think its fair to say that you may have a bigger task on your hands from what you have said. My lovely lady is also immature for her age, insecure (like most Filipinas) and bought up in near poverty. She does not appear to be outwardly jealous but as you know, jealousy can kill a relationship. I can offer no great advice because I am not an expert but all I can say is this.....nurture the love you have, be understanding to her needs, have endless patience and a sense of humour. But try and deal with the jealousy. You can always pm for advice and I will try to help or if you have fb, then add me and we can chat live there. If you go the fb route, please remember that my lovely lady sometimes sees the messages and is often perched on my shoulder when I start typing. So as I have told others....no reference to B.E or my blogs.

I wish you both the very best. You do not say where you are but if you are in my direction at some point please let me know.

Take care. Good luck to you both.

robbo462003

I have you added to my f/b already

Philosophical 11

Thanksou will have obviously seen my lovely lady.
Best regards

Philosophical 11

Continuing the every day story of country folk....

She has gone for a smear test with her friend a few hours away so I can tap away uninterrupted without a Pinay perched on my shoulder. Had 3 messages already to make sure I have had breakfast etc....

I have mentioned that the family have moved into a new house about 30 mins walk away on the other side of town. We no longer have constant visits which is good. The rental was 8k but she knocked it down to 5k. A big house and one I could easily live in. But it reminds me how reliant they are on my lovely lady. If they have a problem...she has to sort it. They need spoon feeding. This, I find annoying because the father should be looking after them. She found the house for them, negotiated the price and organized the move. I have mentioned that in the past when she was a young kid, they had nothing but rice to eat. She on her own initiative would go down to the beach and help drag the fishing nets in. Her reward was a few fish for the family. After school and at weekends, she sold banana que by the roadside and gave the money to her family. And then of course she went to Manila and Kuwait to take care of her family.

But I digress. We both helped with the move and I noticed the people who were there that did not help was waddly sister and her brothers wife. I will thereafter call her nit lady....for obvious reasons. Waddly was sat comatose in a corner still dying of love sickness. She has lost her bf for whatever reason and it appears lost worm boy her son. Worm boy helped in the best possible way by eating the contents of the food cupboard. Why has she lost worm boy I hear you chorus? Because she placed her new bf over him. Long story. Remember, she was the one who legged it from the beach and left him behind when he was only a couple of years old when a small earth tremor hit So now she lives alone here. Worm boy is being properly looked after by the family in the new house. He has disowned her.

Sloth sister had a bad first day at work at the City Hall. She is working in an IT office and had nothing to do and was ignored. She was too shy to talk to anyone and doesn't want to work there. But we will see. They are relying on her for the additional rent.

I have mentioned before that her parents are caring for a number of kids. One of them belongs to Nit Lady and is the son of my lovely ladies brother. My lovely lady has banned her and her son from living in the new house until her brother contributes to the rent. Her brother works away and comes home about once a month. He makes very little contribution to his wife and son and is tardy sending a bag of rice per month. He has instead bought himself a new motor bike paying 2.5k per month and when he gets to visit his wife and son here seems to spend more time drinking Emperador and smoking fags. Anyway, this has caused an upset but I agree with my lovely lady. Nit lady who has been living with them for some time does very little around their house except looking after her son. But he has now started Infants school. My lovely ladies mother appears to do everything there. Perhaps its a dysfunctional family. Or normal. I have no idea.

Since typing this, I have had another load of messages from my lovely lady. Perhaps making sure I am still alive or checking up to make sure that I am up to no good.

So...I will love you and leave you all for now. Going to do the washing up, do a bit of ironing and wash the balcony down from rabbit pooh. When she gets back....perhaps she will think I have hired a maid.

Regards

quiltman

Well , that brightened up another dull rainy day I sense a lightness in your feelings today?

robbo462003

942 Replies, 76419 views and counting This must be an all time record for any subject on this forum

Stokkevn

I thought they all moved house like they do round here, no need for revoval vans.

Philosophical 11

Correct Quiltman. I have got my very loving lady back again. Pinays can be very loving and caring one moment....then unpredictable the next. Tomorrow is another day!

Best regards

Philosophical 11

I forgot to mention for what its worth. Because Nit Lady is not being properly supported by my lovely ladies brother, she has given/loaned her a few peso to sell banana que (sp?) and hotdogs etc by the roadside plus commission from her cosmetics she is selling on-line. Anything for her family. Bless her.

Oh...and she is still not back from her smear test. Must have had 20 messages on Messenger, text and fb asking how I am etc.... Think its easier typing this whilst she is here...

Pete

Stokkevn

My missus used to text me all the time, even when we were in the same shopping center. After a few texts back like "Bring more beer we are running out" or "What is the normal tip for a Lap Dancer" ( both times she rushed back from shopping to see what was going on ), she has just about given up now knowing full well she will just get a flippant answer

morpeth

Having been in Philippines and several Latin countries, I find this thread interesting as a real realty show as opposed to a fake one. My first impression is the volatility is part of the culture as it is in Latin America, and part as a foreigner taking it too seriously. Since the family bothers you so much, the only cure is either not taking them seriously, or moving a farther distance away.

Philosophical 11

Thanks Morpeth. Yes, I guess this thread has turned into an internet soap but I make no apologies for that. I enjoy posting and if it retains the interest then I guess I will be encouraged to continue the posting.

As far as the family is concerned, they don't really bother me any more. Except for the fact that waddly sister has borrowed my bike with out asking this morning to go with my lovely lady to visit the family on the other side of town. We don't get any visits since the move and obviously they no longer ask for money. Its too far for them to come and cadge soft drinks and food also. The problems are within the family. I have been excluded from that.....which suits me.

Regards