howden40

I'm still here, still willing the outcome you so desire.

In my experience children get more annoyed for keeping secrets than knowing the truth. She may well find out about the letter and it's not you who should be on the receiving end but the OH's ex.

Sounds a bit desperate, but then so are you ONLY you are desperate to move on to a better life and OH's ex is desperate to hold onto the 'old'. A control freak perhaps.

Pleased you've sent your docs off that's one step closer and until you get the final 'signed ok for kids' keep doing the little bits that add up.

Keep your chin up, you know it's worth it.

Pauline

clarissageo

Yep J19 - nice dirty move he's made there.

But just remember, thats all it is, and it seems like thats all he's capable of - just stick to doing things the right way, and you will be fine in the end. All these little stupid tricks he keeps trying to pull will go down like a cup of cold sick with both the court and your child.

Keep smiling, you WILL get there.

Just to let you know as well - after all the problems my Ex gave me, he's now missing all of his scheduled calls with the children! in fact he is online right now, and hasnt bothered to send me a message / email to even see how they are, never mind try to speak to them!!

j19fmm

Clarissageo you are a breath of fresh air, "Cup of cold sick" I love it!!
Do you think I should try and get a copy of the letter?
I'm going to ring my solicitor on Monday and see how much it will cost to get an Order to take them on holiday. Seems such a hideous waste of money I just don't have but I really want to prove to the court I'm serious.
Thanks again for the support

clarissageo

its one of my favourite phrases - a little gross but certainly gets the message across I think!!

I would try get a copy of the letter, if only to show the court if you need to that he is trying to do things 'under the table' so to speak, where as you are sticking by the book - it will certainly bring his character forward to the judges attention, and if it goes to a contested hearing, something for your solicitor to bring up and ask him for an explanation for!!

It seems dumb that you would have to get an order to take them on holiday - it should be up to him to stop you, not you to prove that you are playing by the rules - I'd ask your solicitor if you actually need it, rather than asking him or her to just do it - although they are good, solicitors make a fortune out of this kind of thing!

Dont forget, whatever he throws at you, YOU are the good person, he is the A$$ !!! lol

j19fmm

Hmm good point, reckon I'll tell him I've booked the tickets and see what he does. Really really don't want to book the tickets then get prevented from going, don't think the insurance would cover muppet EX's.

j19fmm

Finally got a letter from EX today, he says having spoken to his Solicitor he refuses to give me permission to take the kids on holiday/factfinding holiday to NZ in October.
On top of that he has spoken to one Simon Smith, Head of Immigration at NZ House (?) who has told him in writing that I "..will not be able to obtain the necessary permission to move to NZ with the children without his consent.This will never be given and therefore the idea of moving to NZ with the children will not happen. Any application for moving to NZ will come up as an alert and be refused." (Guess that means my name is mud in NZ House then)
And as a little extra he has stopped paying the childrens maintenance money as of 3rd July - just in time for me having to buy daughters new secondary school uniform.
So, I'm feeling a little bit sad. I have never tried to take the kids without his permission, in fact if I was planning a runner I would have just stayed there in Jan this year when we went out last.
My daughter is sooo upset. I really need to go in October to visit the schools and sell myself to employers, and gather evidence for my Leave to Remove, but it would mean she might have to stay with her dad whilst I'm away. She hates staying there, so I feel incredibly guilty.
So what now guys??

squiddley

So sorry to hear about your news...Why is he so hell bent on stopping you ??
I suppose fight fire with fire,he isn't doing his cause any good by not paying you maintenance...And as for your daughters welfare and feelings,it sounds to me that he is not thinking of them......Just his own.....

As i said in earlier threads ....Ex's dont they just mess things up....
Keep your chin up keep smiling you'll get there....

j19fmm

Guess he's been told by his solicitor that I can make a strong case by showing the kids the schools and houses. He has a daughter by a previous marriage who moved with her mum to scotland when she was 8 and he hasn't seen her since. But that was HER choice, she's 22 now, what does that tell him? My daughter is going to do the same to him as she sees it as him spoiling what could be a major experience in her life- living in another country.
Don't feel a lot like smiling, crying perhaps! Waiting on an email reply from my Cousin in NZ as I had a rant to him too, he's more like a brother to me really.

traciridgwell

The 'EX' sounds like a completely selfish PIG - why doesn't he actually ask his daughter what SHE wants and who she wants to be with??? He just may get the answer we all know he going to get!! He has absolutely no shame - stopping the maintenance for his child will NOT go down well with any court. Keep going - justice will prevail - and we are all behind you!! May your EX - drop down dead (sorry thats mean - but its how I feel)!

j19fmm

You guys are awesome, thank you

clarissageo

Yep, your ex is an A$$ of the highest order.

Have you spoken to your lawyer yet to try work out your next move? There must be some loopholes in there somewhere that they can work with. As far has him writing a letter to Mr Big Boots at NZ house goes, I'm sure he gets letters like that every single day and they all get filed under B for bin - he's not bothered about bitter and twisted ex's, he's bothered about legal paperwork and until he see's that he's not going to take the blindest bit of notice of ranting from some fruit loop. I know its scary but don't worry about that too much.

From what I can see, one of the strongest arguments you have is that HE wanted to move to NZ, not once, but twice - with you - so he is actually fighting against himself! do you have any of the original applications or research that you did for that time? I'm sure if you can present them in court, the primary fact that the move has to be in the best interests of the children will be demonstrated as he has wanted to do it and obviously thinks it is a good move.

What is your solicitor doing at the moment? If i'm honest, and no offence is meant, but from what you've said so far she / he seems to be very REactive as opposed to PROactive. I would have thought that as soon as it was bought to her attention that you do not have residency in writing that was the first thing you applied for........ he / she doesnt seem to be pre-empting strikes from your ex and trying to stop them before they start, he / she appears to just be reacting to them as they come in.

As far as maintenance goes, I would get the lawyer to write your ex a letter reminding him that his maintenance is late / not paid - get it on record that he has been told so that he cant claim the 'oh i forgot' bull$hit. When you've told him once just leave him - let him dig his own grave, because not paying will not make him look any good in court.

You WILL get there. Think positive.

j19fmm

Thank you for the support Clarissageo, I had a text from him this afternoon saying he couldn't afford it. I've asked him to put it in writing. My solicitor is away til the end of the month. Meanwhile I guess I stop being nice and go to the CSA - for what they're worth. I'm going to ask for copies of the letter from NZ House and the 2 letters he sent to the kids school.
My day just went from bad to worse anyway as OH's kids went back to their mums today after a week here and told some evil lies about me. I don't think I've ever been so upset. I'd never have believed kids could be so cruel - and I'm a teacher, you'd think I'd seen it all.
So been up my dads house having a good old blub. He was chuffed I still went to him even at my great age Not going to tell OH his kids can't come and stay again, but if they do I certainly won't be here that weekend!!
So opening a bottle of Oyster Bay wine and going to stick two fingers up to the world.
I really do appreciate all your comments and help

nic.gem.soph

[QUOTE=j19fmm;6679924]So opening a bottle of Oyster Bay wine and going to stick two fingers up to the world.QUOTE]

Hi, can't offer much advice I'm afraid, but can say hang it there, give the a$$ hole "enough rope and he'll hang himself", excuse the expression.
I'm sending some karma to go with the wine.

Nic

weejie

[QUOTE=nic.gem.soph;6680193] So have I!!! Feeling really down at the mo but not as bad as you I bet He's being a right bar steward in my opinion.

Phyllis

BEVS

Oh no. This is really awful. Hang on in there & keep at it.

That does seem to be so, doesn't it. Perhaps you need a lawyer with a bit more bite.

Can't the lawyer or court look at this refusal to decide if it is reasonable or not. If an ex can just say no, then some families would never be able to leave the country at all. They would be prisoners of their ex's spite. Surely there is something in family law somewhere whereby a refusal has to be justified as reasonable.

Have some karma as that is all I can offer.