STEP CHILDREN

Old May 18th 2008, 3:31 pm
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Unhappy STEP CHILDREN

My wife and I received some bad news news today......really depressed wanted to share it with someone.
We have both got jobs to go to in NZ everything just about done, just about to submit the visa's (WTR) anyway, jest got news from my wife's ex-husband that he will not allow us to take the children to NZ. My wife is really upset and so am i come to that, the reason he gave was "life is too short and he will not get to see them much".

What really pi**es me off is that he hardly has anything to do with them and see's them only 3 times a year.

Anyway we are going to call NZIS tomorrow to get some advice, in the meantime does anybody else have any.

Anything greatly appreciated.

Many thanks

Sid and Lisa
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Old May 18th 2008, 4:14 pm
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Default Re: STEP CHILDREN

How many stepchildren & what are their ages? The reason is we met someone in NZ in the same position their father would not let them go either. They went anyway and left the 2 boys 12 & 14 with their father. She arranges for them to visit twice a year in the hope that they will see a different way a life and want to live it themselves and persuade their father to let them. Only time will tell.

June

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Old May 18th 2008, 4:32 pm
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Default Re: STEP CHILDREN

hi,thanks for your reply my step children are aged 6 and 12, their father lives in the south of England, I do know what you mean ......I really need to think about that one. their father lives in a two bedroom flat, don't relish the thought of my children being passed from pillar to post while he's at work.
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Old May 18th 2008, 4:36 pm
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Default Re: STEP CHILDREN

Hi, I normally post on the US forum but your post caught my eye on the main list.

You need to apply for an order to 'leave to remove juresdiction'. Its a tough process, but it can be done - I've just won my case after a £5000, eight month battle.

Caselaw is always good to go by - take a look on line for a case called 'payne V payne' but the bottom line is that if your case is strong enough and you have the evidence to back it up, it should be ok - if you want the name of a good lawyer or some help with what actually happens from someone who has been through it first hand, send me a PM.

oh, and one BIG tip - log everything - every bit of contact, every text, every email, keep hold of it....

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Old May 18th 2008, 4:47 pm
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Default Re: STEP CHILDREN

Hi Sqiddley have sent you a PM
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Old May 18th 2008, 6:36 pm
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Default Re: STEP CHILDREN

Thanks for the advice...
I will be speaking to a solicitor tomorrow also NZIS..
So i will keep everyone posted as to what is happening.
The only other thing that may be against us is time,as the clock is ticking and we both have job offers
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Old May 19th 2008, 7:32 pm
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Default Re: STEP CHILDREN

Hi how you guys doing today? Any news ?
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Old May 20th 2008, 8:01 am
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Default Re: STEP CHILDREN

Hi
thanks for asking how we are......
to be honest felt better.Anyway we are seeking legal advice,we have an appointment with solicitor tomorrow,we have been informed that it could cost us a lot of money ,but it will be worth it as we all are determined to go to NZ....
Also we have spoken to our employers and they have said keep them informed..
So fingers crossed
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Old May 20th 2008, 4:11 pm
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Glad to hear you sounding positive, yup it'll cost you dear but worth it if you've all got your heart set on it,
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Old May 21st 2008, 2:57 pm
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Default Re: STEP CHILDREN

Just to give you a little bit of a boost, if the bio-father only bothers with the kids 3 times a year you have a very strong case. If he was seeing them everyother weekend and half the holidays, or even if the kids had a great, strong relationship with him, it would be harder (not impossible, just harder), so the fact he doesnt bother now, will go against him.

As I said before, if you want any tips i'm more than happy to let you know how we put ours togeter - I can even send you copies of our orders / cafcass report to see if you like
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Old May 21st 2008, 6:01 pm
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Default Re: STEP CHILDREN

Thanks Clarissageo for your offer...
Anyway,saw solicitor today.....mmm she said we have a strong case,told her all the in's and out's,yes its going to cost alot of money.
The first thing to do she said ,is to send him (bio father) a letter explaining to him our intent,this may put the 'frightners up him'..No doubt it will go down like a s**t sandwich.....

The only down side to this is,it's going to take time,about october before it goes to court.Not good,as we have job offers and the clock is ticking.The next step is to ring our respective employers up and explain what is going on,so fingers crossed they will keep our jobs open if not start looking for another job.So we have lots of things going through our heads.
I dont know,been thinking today about putting in an EOI and going down the PR route instead of a WTR....Decisions
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Old May 21st 2008, 6:32 pm
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Default Re: STEP CHILDREN

Good to hear she agreed that you have a strong case.

Have you started to prepare your pack yet?? to cut down on time scales the earlier you get your pack produced and sent off to all concerned the better. That way as soon as he starts trying to 'pull rank' and suddenly decide he wants to be a daddy again you can present the pack to him, along with all the proposed contact / access information.

I dont know if your lawyer told you the kind of timescales you are looking at, but just so you know if you are keeping your new employer informed, it normally goes: Directions hearing at court - if he consents, they should be able to sign it off there and then, if he opposes, court will appoint CAFCASS to do interviews with you all, that can take around 8-10 weeks, You'll then have another directions hearing where the CAFCASS recommendations will be taken into account and if they recommend you should go, the ex can still oppose, or chose to consent - if he says he still opposes, but CAFCASS agree, this is where you can tell him you intend to persue costs from him. If CAFCASS sit on the fence, like they did with us, it will then go to contested hearing.

How strongly is he against it? is it strong enough for him to go and get legal advice?? if it is, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you can expect a prohibitive steps order to be issued, and possibly an application for residency. His laywer will advise him to do this wether he wants the children to live with him or not, just to stop you doing anything 'silly' and just leaving the country, so just to be warned, if he's got a lawyer, to expect those things to come through.

have a look at this forum, its full of people asking similar questions about leave to remove cases: http://www.parentscentre.gov.uk/foru....cfm?catid=106
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Old May 21st 2008, 6:48 pm
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Default Re: STEP CHILDREN

Great informative post Clarissageo, thank you
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Old May 21st 2008, 6:55 pm
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Default Re: STEP CHILDREN

Originally Posted by j19fmm View Post
Great informative post Clarissageo, thank you
Thankyou I'm not a laywer, but i've been there very very recently and I know just how hard the process is, much as i'd love to sugar coat it, I dont think it would be fair, especially considering the OP has job offers on the table and there are more people (ie employers) involved in this.

here is another article that is very interesting. Should give a boost!!

http://www.familylawweek.co.uk/library.asp?i=3034
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Old May 21st 2008, 6:59 pm
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Default Re: STEP CHILDREN

Brilliant...
Many thanks for the info Clarissageo
We have emails from him listing dates for visits...not many
My wife has already spoke to him this evening and told him what we are going to do...Didn't seem to bothered,he is having the children this weekend,no doubt the eldest will get an ear bashing from him
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