jmh

I haven't lived in NZ for some years, but my impression from being there recently and from reports from family is that NZ offers fewer benefits than a few decades ago. They seem to be following the US pattern not the UK when it comes to social support and employment law. I suspect in years to come there will be less government support for everybody, which I do feel is a shame, but then I am a bit of a socialist!!

luvwelly

Well that is what I did....I had my kids late...I chose to stay at home....my OH supported us financially but I disagree with you...the State has a role to play...as it stands some people have their kids too early (when not in stable relationships) while those with a firmer lifeplan (like me) put it off for too long because the time never looks right to give up your freedom (=wage slavery!) and financial independence (from your partner).
Pre-contraception you could rely on babies to come along whatever..nowadays..it can be a hard decision to throw away the pill packet....so if the state doesn't want the population to fall too low, they need to make it a more attractive proposition. If you do it as tax breaks then you are targeting it at those in stable relationships.

luvwelly

Exactly so this has led to a movement towards subsidised state daycare so both parents can continue to work. I know in my bones this isn;t fair on young babies and kids and so would prefer there to be an option to make it possible for one parent to choose to stay at home while kids are young.

We only traded-up our property once and kept our mortgage lower as a result so that we would be able to live on my OH's income alone while the kids were young..but if you are not on an above average income this strategy probably wouldn't work for you..so the basic problem remains....what to do when you need both wages and the kids come along...do kids really thrive in daycare at a very young age?.... and get this when they start school the hours are shorter....so then the state steps in with wraparound care and kids spend 12 hour days on school premises:breakfast club/afterschool club etc etc ....why not just formulate the tax system to make it viable for a couple in a stable family relationship to do their own childcare at home if they want to? As Southerner says at the moment you are penalised for one opting out of the workforce for a while.

A friend of mine amazed me once (old work colleague) she said 'we don't have many toys at home at all..they don't need them..they get those in daycare'
NB This is not meant to be anti-daycare just pro-choice to raise your own kids and not be penalised taxwise for that choice. I am well aware that finances deny many the choice and you can't always think that far ahead.

Cape Blue

I think the key point is about not wanting the population to fall too low - the UK is one of the more densely populated countries in the world, perhaps NZ might want to increase its population however the increasing global population is THE key problem of the next 100 years - all Climate Change and resource availability issues stem from a rapidly increasing and consuming global population.

On a micro scale the UK/NZ will want more people to keep paying the pensions of the boomers etc and continue the overall strength of UK/NZ GDP, on a more global view we should be encouraging people not to have kids as the planet already has more people than it can handle.

Personally I see the choice to have children as precisely that - a choice. It's a couples choice to have them and as with many choices, you may have to give something up to have it - some people choose to put their work/life balance into their life part and have to suffer a lower career, others choose the opposite and suffer a lower social life.

You appear to not want financial dependence upon your life partner, but instead want financial dependence upon other people in the UK/NZ who pay taxes to support your choice to have children, even those who don't or have chosen not to have children?

bourbon-biscuit

Top post

I'm pro-choice for women and families too but I do feel, on some instinctive level (and I think the research is starting to show this is true) that we do our children a dis-service having them in childcare for 30+ hours from a young age. I homeschooled for a year and my daughter used to go into holiday playschemes for me to have a break and her to get some time with schooled kids and I really felt for the little kids who were there from 8-6 every day of the holidays. that's not what I wanted for my kids. So we struggled and made tough choices. Here I am finally about to go to university next year, but I'll be mid thirties before earning and starting my career and I fret about my pension provision and just how far starting ten years behind my contemporaries will curtail my career prospects I'm not saying I wouldn't amke that choice again, I would, and I'm not sure what the answer would be in practice.

luvwelly

No I'm personally happy to trust my partner but I'm lucky in my choice....so if the state wants people to have kids (and despite what you say) I believe it does - or there'll be no workers to support your old age benefits or whatever the argument is, you need to help, as Mr Brown would say 'hardworking families' achieve some kind of balance.
I worked for almost 20 years paying taxes before having kids so I did my share of supporting others kids/education through my taxes but I don't begrudge that as I can see the wider picture and prefer a society with a safety net.

Financial dependence on your partner is a risky choice for a woman with a career she is potentially trashing as certain men have a tendency to stray....

luvwelly

I did it the other way round, got the degree, pursued 'career' (ha ha) and therefore had my kids mid-thirties by which time you are sick of the corporate rat race anyway. Probably easier my way round as the finances are more solid when you take the career break. Best of luck with it all in your new destination Bourbon.

jennifer45

BB don't fret love.
You will be fine.
I was 39 when I got my second degree and found that my age/ life experience stood me in good stead, when it came to seeking promotion along side a much younger group of candidates. Previous careers and qualifications were valued. As for pension provision I continued to pay the full stamp, as I had seen what happened to a friend of mine, who had not, and was left to struggle when her husband 'ran off' with his secretary.
Not that I thought mine would (he can't run fast enough!) but I've always had a need for financial independence- stems from seeing how my mother suffered, I guess. I topped my professional pension up with AVC's and when I retired had a decent pot. Now its value is being eroded so fast, I sometimes wonder if it was worth it.
Anyway, BB don't you worry about starting late- you aren't - you've just been experiencing things in life far more important than what you could learn in a lecture hall/room and when you begin to read for your degree you will have a wealth of knowledge to draw on.
I wish you every success in your future but most of all enjoy it!
Jennie x

bourbon-biscuit

Thanks luvwelly and jennifer for your encouragement

luvwelly

We certainly got off topic...so how pc is NZee?

Matewx

So,
Would you say NZ is gayfriendly or homophobic?
Would you say NZ is racist generally speaking?

We're gay, one black one white about to immigrate... We're looking at major cities... Auckland, Wellington though!

Thanks!!

bourbon-biscuit

I think you'll be fine in the larger cities- some of the attitudes in the smaller towns can a bit, erm, confronting though so perhaps avoid Dannevirke

sr71

You will have no problems at all.

Regardless of what people try to paint on threads like this NZ is probably one of the least discriminatory places on earth when it comes down to differences. If anything does get commented on it is usually down to naivety or just plain curiosity because many Kiwis aren't that worldly, but there is far, far less nastiness here than most other countries.

Bellasmum

kiwinow

On our breakfast programme we have one straight Maori guy, one straight Euro woman and one gay guy. Very PC. I guess it depends on who you mix with but I'd say in NZ you will be accepted for who you are.