Homesickness
Apr 18th 2010, 11:01 am
#106
Scorchy legs
Joined: Jul 2009
Location: Kapiti coast
Posts: 2,069
Re: Homesickness
yes me too. im leaving behind older kids! just cant imagine how it will be leaving them on the other side of the world. but will have to take comfort in the fact that they will come out for long holidays and will regulary Skype...
but you just dont know until you try it how you will cope!
best wishes to you Frequent Flyer, and your decisions made
Jax
but you just dont know until you try it how you will cope!
best wishes to you Frequent Flyer, and your decisions made
Jax
I secretly hope they will follow me out
and those holidays will be affordable for them & us going back.....Personally I think they should come with us and stop being so selfish
apparently you have to give them choice 
so what if they are 27 & nearly 26, still my babies 
Dewb xx
Apr 18th 2010, 11:20 am
#107
Joined: May 2009
Location: Welly UK to Welly NZ to Welly UK
Posts: 2,227
Re: Homesickness
Hey Jax you dont look old enough to have big ones
I secretly hope they will follow me out and those holidays will be affordable for them & us going back.....
Personally I think they should come with us and stop being so selfish apparently you have to give them choice so what if they are 27 & nearly 26, still my babies
Dewb xx
I secretly hope they will follow me out
and those holidays will be affordable for them & us going back.....Personally I think they should come with us and stop being so selfish
apparently you have to give them choice so what if they are 27 & nearly 26, still my babies Dewb xx
Skype, email's frequent phone calls & those planned for long holidays will stand you in good stead
Hold on to those thoughts
Not everyone leaves their heart in UK like me....don't be afraid, you won't live with yourselves if you don't try
lol B x
Apr 18th 2010, 11:25 am
#108
Joined: May 2009
Location: Welly UK to Welly NZ to Welly UK
Posts: 2,227
Re: Homesickness
Hi,
Had a bad phone call from my mother the other day, which mad me feel so guilty for leaving the UK...family problems.....she was crying saying she wishes i was there with her
So just has i was getting over the homesickness business i now have a guilt trip to contend with
Had a bad phone call from my mother the other day, which mad me feel so guilty for leaving the UK...family problems.....she was crying saying she wishes i was there with her
So just has i was getting over the homesickness business i now have a guilt trip to contend with
guilt trips are so difficult on their own but added to homesickness....... you must be going through hell Best wishes & hope you feel better soon
B x
Apr 18th 2010, 3:37 pm
#109
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Auckland- Cockle Bay
Posts: 423
Re: Homesickness
Hey Jax you dont look old enough to have big ones
I secretly hope they will follow me out and those holidays will be affordable for them & us going back.....
Personally I think they should come with us and stop being so selfish apparently you have to give them choice so what if they are 27 & nearly 26, still my babies
Dewb xx
I secretly hope they will follow me out
and those holidays will be affordable for them & us going back.....Personally I think they should come with us and stop being so selfish
apparently you have to give them choice so what if they are 27 & nearly 26, still my babies Dewb xx
my eldest is 22 and at UNi still, but is excited (as are the other two!) at the thought of the long hols with us, and maybe even come and live/work out there in the future (she wants to be a primary teacher).
and you're right, they have their own lives to lead, and they know where we'll be, should they wish to join us at any time!
Apr 18th 2010, 8:31 pm
#110
Scorchy legs
Joined: Jul 2009
Location: Kapiti coast
Posts: 2,069
Re: Homesickness
why thank you dewb!
my eldest is 22 and at UNi still, but is excited (as are the other two!) at the thought of the long hols with us, and maybe even come and live/work out there in the future (she wants to be a primary teacher).
and you're right, they have their own lives to lead, and they know where we'll be, should they wish to join us at any time!
my eldest is 22 and at UNi still, but is excited (as are the other two!) at the thought of the long hols with us, and maybe even come and live/work out there in the future (she wants to be a primary teacher).
and you're right, they have their own lives to lead, and they know where we'll be, should they wish to join us at any time!
we can but hopeDewb xx
Apr 19th 2010, 12:07 am
#111
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 27
Re: Homesickness
MnB Have you any rock solid plans set in motion yet ?
Apr 19th 2010, 6:24 am
#112
Joined: May 2009
Location: Welly UK to Welly NZ to Welly UK
Posts: 2,227
Re: Homesickness
Hi there, yep flights are booked, leave NZ 15th May to Cook Islands for 8 nights then off to Heathrow via LA, arrive Uk 24th May......all of course dependant on UK air space not being shrouded in volcanic ash
so may have to delay but feeling much happier now I know we will be going HOME!!
Will be back next year tho, for a holiday with our grown up children, felt bad depriving them of their NZ experience they were coming over for Christmas but now we'll travel together and still have a wonderful holiday I' sure!!
Hope you're managing to live through the up's & down's and get through, thanks for your understanding.
B x
so may have to delay but feeling much happier now I know we will be going HOME!!Will be back next year tho, for a holiday with our grown up children, felt bad depriving them of their NZ experience
they were coming over for Christmas but now we'll travel together and still have a wonderful holiday I' sure!!Hope you're managing to live through the up's & down's and get through
, thanks for your understanding.B x
Apr 19th 2010, 11:29 am
#113
Just Joined
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 7
Re: Homesickness
Brand new to this forum, have been reading some posts with great interest - this thread especially.
I am married to a NZer and our 2 kids have dual nationality. I never went down the route of citizenship - never wanted to.
Over the past 25 years we've made many many trips to NZ to see family. In 2005 we decided to move over there. Unlike a lot of people, we weren't trying to escape anything, we love the UK, we just fancied something different.
We spent 2 years in NZ and I have to say I hated every single minute of it. I don't hate the country, I just hated living there (if that makes any sense).
I never felt 'part of it', I never managed to shrug the constant gnawing feeling of not belonging and not wanting to be there. We had left a beautiful village location on the Staffordshire/Shropshire border, our lives had been very rural, tranquil and crime free. We moved near to Palmerston North (probably mistake number 1) - that's where my inlaws were/are. In the 2 years we were there I experienced more crime, vandalism and prejudice than I ever had in the UK. This is something that some balk at and refuse to believe .... it's true !!! Obviously location has a lot to do with it, if you're leaving a highly populated location in the UK and heading to rural NZ you stand a darn good chance of leaving the crime behind ...... if you do things the other way round then it stands to reason that the results will be different too.
I found the locals to be friendly enough but everything stopped at polite chit chats, we were never invited any further that that. The constant self praise the Kiwis lavish on themselves started to grind pretty soon after arrival too.
Not having any history was difficult, being in our mid 40's we found everybody to be part of long established circles of friends who shared years of memories. It was very hard to break through, in the end we stopped trying.
My hubby had been out of NZ for many many years and found it very difficult to relate to his 'countrymen'.
This may/probably will seem like a real NZ bashing post to those who love the place, but really that's not my intention. I'm just trying to relate MY story as it was for me ..... after all, perception is reality!
Cutting a very long story short, my mental health started to suffer, my kids were turning into grunting androids instead of the intelligent, animated kids they were back in the UK (the education system was nothing more than a state funded joke). Thankfully, just after we hit the 2 years mark we made a decision to come home.
We've been back almost 3 years now and have to say we have no regrets at all. We have many many fond memories of NZ, we've been back twice since we moved back to the UK. Once for a family funeral and once to take the kids back to see their grandmother. Going back was the best thing we could have possibly done as it confirmed to us that we were right to leave. NZ - for us - is a lovely holiday location and nothing more. We are in an equally rural location in the UK to the one we left and simply can't relate to any of the comments people say about how the UK is going to the dogs. I don't have my head in the sand, I just know for a fact that everywhere in the world has good and bad points. Sadly for us NZ made most of the bad points come to the surface. The kids are thriving in their schools here in the UK and, compared to their NZ cousins who are a couple of years older, are educationally streets ahead. They're just brighter kids all round than they ever were in NZ.
So - for those who are unsure whether their returns to the UK will work or not I have this to say. Wherever the human race resides then you'll get good and bad. you'll get people telling you that you're wrong to do this, that or the other. Maybe they're showing genuine concern for your well being by trying to advise you which way to turn or maybe they're wanting you to do the same as them so that it makes them feel more secure with their decision - who knows. But, like I mentioned before, perception IS reality. Wild horses wouldn't drag me back to live in NZ yet I know that the same applies to a lot of people regarding coming back to the UK. We all have to find that niche in life that suits us best, that makes us feel happy. We need to look past the newspaper headlines and the glossy mags and go and find out for ourselves.
I don't regret our time in NZ, and I'm glad we returned for a holiday as this REALLY did give us peace of mind knowing we did the right thing to leave. It may be the same for those wanting to return, it may not but whatever happens, we wish everybody well.
I am married to a NZer and our 2 kids have dual nationality. I never went down the route of citizenship - never wanted to.
Over the past 25 years we've made many many trips to NZ to see family. In 2005 we decided to move over there. Unlike a lot of people, we weren't trying to escape anything, we love the UK, we just fancied something different.
We spent 2 years in NZ and I have to say I hated every single minute of it. I don't hate the country, I just hated living there (if that makes any sense).
I never felt 'part of it', I never managed to shrug the constant gnawing feeling of not belonging and not wanting to be there. We had left a beautiful village location on the Staffordshire/Shropshire border, our lives had been very rural, tranquil and crime free. We moved near to Palmerston North (probably mistake number 1) - that's where my inlaws were/are. In the 2 years we were there I experienced more crime, vandalism and prejudice than I ever had in the UK. This is something that some balk at and refuse to believe .... it's true !!! Obviously location has a lot to do with it, if you're leaving a highly populated location in the UK and heading to rural NZ you stand a darn good chance of leaving the crime behind ...... if you do things the other way round then it stands to reason that the results will be different too.
I found the locals to be friendly enough but everything stopped at polite chit chats, we were never invited any further that that. The constant self praise the Kiwis lavish on themselves started to grind pretty soon after arrival too.
Not having any history was difficult, being in our mid 40's we found everybody to be part of long established circles of friends who shared years of memories. It was very hard to break through, in the end we stopped trying.
My hubby had been out of NZ for many many years and found it very difficult to relate to his 'countrymen'.
This may/probably will seem like a real NZ bashing post to those who love the place, but really that's not my intention. I'm just trying to relate MY story as it was for me ..... after all, perception is reality!
Cutting a very long story short, my mental health started to suffer, my kids were turning into grunting androids instead of the intelligent, animated kids they were back in the UK (the education system was nothing more than a state funded joke). Thankfully, just after we hit the 2 years mark we made a decision to come home.
We've been back almost 3 years now and have to say we have no regrets at all. We have many many fond memories of NZ, we've been back twice since we moved back to the UK. Once for a family funeral and once to take the kids back to see their grandmother. Going back was the best thing we could have possibly done as it confirmed to us that we were right to leave. NZ - for us - is a lovely holiday location and nothing more. We are in an equally rural location in the UK to the one we left and simply can't relate to any of the comments people say about how the UK is going to the dogs. I don't have my head in the sand, I just know for a fact that everywhere in the world has good and bad points. Sadly for us NZ made most of the bad points come to the surface. The kids are thriving in their schools here in the UK and, compared to their NZ cousins who are a couple of years older, are educationally streets ahead. They're just brighter kids all round than they ever were in NZ.
So - for those who are unsure whether their returns to the UK will work or not I have this to say. Wherever the human race resides then you'll get good and bad. you'll get people telling you that you're wrong to do this, that or the other. Maybe they're showing genuine concern for your well being by trying to advise you which way to turn or maybe they're wanting you to do the same as them so that it makes them feel more secure with their decision - who knows. But, like I mentioned before, perception IS reality. Wild horses wouldn't drag me back to live in NZ yet I know that the same applies to a lot of people regarding coming back to the UK. We all have to find that niche in life that suits us best, that makes us feel happy. We need to look past the newspaper headlines and the glossy mags and go and find out for ourselves.
I don't regret our time in NZ, and I'm glad we returned for a holiday as this REALLY did give us peace of mind knowing we did the right thing to leave. It may be the same for those wanting to return, it may not but whatever happens, we wish everybody well.
Apr 19th 2010, 2:13 pm
#114
Life is what YOU make it.
Joined: Oct 2009
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 3,312
Re: Homesickness
Nozza...simple question, if you were living in a rural location in the UK that is hidden from crime spots then why didn't you move to a rural location in NZ ?
Apr 19th 2010, 2:45 pm
#115
Just Joined
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 7
Re: Homesickness
Well when I say we lived in Palmerston North, we actually lived a few kms outside of it in a village (not that the locals referred to it as a village) only slightly larger than where we came from. It was called Ashhurst, but had I referred to it as that in my o.p I don't suppose many people would have known where i was talking about. Sorry for the confusion.
Apr 19th 2010, 3:51 pm
#116
Life is what YOU make it.
Joined: Oct 2009
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 3,312
Re: Homesickness
Well when I say we lived in Palmerston North, we actually lived a few kms outside of it in a village (not that the locals referred to it as a village) only slightly larger than where we came from. It was called Ashhurst, but had I referred to it as that in my o.p I don't suppose many people would have known where i was talking about. Sorry for the confusion.
Apr 19th 2010, 4:03 pm
#117
Just Joined
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 7
Re: Homesickness
Crime & vandalism mostly in that area yeah although there was evidence of it almost everywhere I went. Prejudice was Bluff to Reinga. But hey, please let me repeat that I DO NOT hate NZ, I'm just telling how it was for us. God only knows we wanted it to be different
Apr 19th 2010, 4:11 pm
#118
Scorchy legs
Joined: Jul 2009
Location: Kapiti coast
Posts: 2,069
Re: Homesickness
All the best for the future
Dewb
Apr 19th 2010, 4:27 pm
#119
Life is what YOU make it.
Joined: Oct 2009
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 3,312
Re: Homesickness
Apr 19th 2010, 6:27 pm
#120
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 27
Re: Homesickness
Brand new to this forum, have been reading some posts with great interest - this thread especially.
I am married to a NZer and our 2 kids have dual nationality. I never went down the route of citizenship - never wanted to.
Over the past 25 years we've made many many trips to NZ to see family. In 2005 we decided to move over there. Unlike a lot of people, we weren't trying to escape anything, we love the UK, we just fancied something different.
We spent 2 years in NZ and I have to say I hated every single minute of it. I don't hate the country, I just hated living there (if that makes any sense).
I never felt 'part of it', I never managed to shrug the constant gnawing feeling of not belonging and not wanting to be there. We had left a beautiful village location on the Staffordshire/Shropshire border, our lives had been very rural, tranquil and crime free. We moved near to Palmerston North (probably mistake number 1) - that's where my inlaws were/are. In the 2 years we were there I experienced more crime, vandalism and prejudice than I ever had in the UK. This is something that some balk at and refuse to believe .... it's true !!! Obviously location has a lot to do with it, if you're leaving a highly populated location in the UK and heading to rural NZ you stand a darn good chance of leaving the crime behind ...... if you do things the other way round then it stands to reason that the results will be different too.
I found the locals to be friendly enough but everything stopped at polite chit chats, we were never invited any further that that. The constant self praise the Kiwis lavish on themselves started to grind pretty soon after arrival too.
Not having any history was difficult, being in our mid 40's we found everybody to be part of long established circles of friends who shared years of memories. It was very hard to break through, in the end we stopped trying.
My hubby had been out of NZ for many many years and found it very difficult to relate to his 'countrymen'.
This may/probably will seem like a real NZ bashing post to those who love the place, but really that's not my intention. I'm just trying to relate MY story as it was for me ..... after all, perception is reality!
Cutting a very long story short, my mental health started to suffer, my kids were turning into grunting androids instead of the intelligent, animated kids they were back in the UK (the education system was nothing more than a state funded joke). Thankfully, just after we hit the 2 years mark we made a decision to come home.
We've been back almost 3 years now and have to say we have no regrets at all. We have many many fond memories of NZ, we've been back twice since we moved back to the UK. Once for a family funeral and once to take the kids back to see their grandmother. Going back was the best thing we could have possibly done as it confirmed to us that we were right to leave. NZ - for us - is a lovely holiday location and nothing more. We are in an equally rural location in the UK to the one we left and simply can't relate to any of the comments people say about how the UK is going to the dogs. I don't have my head in the sand, I just know for a fact that everywhere in the world has good and bad points. Sadly for us NZ made most of the bad points come to the surface. The kids are thriving in their schools here in the UK and, compared to their NZ cousins who are a couple of years older, are educationally streets ahead. They're just brighter kids all round than they ever were in NZ.
So - for those who are unsure whether their returns to the UK will work or not I have this to say. Wherever the human race resides then you'll get good and bad. you'll get people telling you that you're wrong to do this, that or the other. Maybe they're showing genuine concern for your well being by trying to advise you which way to turn or maybe they're wanting you to do the same as them so that it makes them feel more secure with their decision - who knows. But, like I mentioned before, perception IS reality. Wild horses wouldn't drag me back to live in NZ yet I know that the same applies to a lot of people regarding coming back to the UK. We all have to find that niche in life that suits us best, that makes us feel happy. We need to look past the newspaper headlines and the glossy mags and go and find out for ourselves.
I don't regret our time in NZ, and I'm glad we returned for a holiday as this REALLY did give us peace of mind knowing we did the right thing to leave. It may be the same for those wanting to return, it may not but whatever happens, we wish everybody well.
I am married to a NZer and our 2 kids have dual nationality. I never went down the route of citizenship - never wanted to.
Over the past 25 years we've made many many trips to NZ to see family. In 2005 we decided to move over there. Unlike a lot of people, we weren't trying to escape anything, we love the UK, we just fancied something different.
We spent 2 years in NZ and I have to say I hated every single minute of it. I don't hate the country, I just hated living there (if that makes any sense).
I never felt 'part of it', I never managed to shrug the constant gnawing feeling of not belonging and not wanting to be there. We had left a beautiful village location on the Staffordshire/Shropshire border, our lives had been very rural, tranquil and crime free. We moved near to Palmerston North (probably mistake number 1) - that's where my inlaws were/are. In the 2 years we were there I experienced more crime, vandalism and prejudice than I ever had in the UK. This is something that some balk at and refuse to believe .... it's true !!! Obviously location has a lot to do with it, if you're leaving a highly populated location in the UK and heading to rural NZ you stand a darn good chance of leaving the crime behind ...... if you do things the other way round then it stands to reason that the results will be different too.
I found the locals to be friendly enough but everything stopped at polite chit chats, we were never invited any further that that. The constant self praise the Kiwis lavish on themselves started to grind pretty soon after arrival too.
Not having any history was difficult, being in our mid 40's we found everybody to be part of long established circles of friends who shared years of memories. It was very hard to break through, in the end we stopped trying.
My hubby had been out of NZ for many many years and found it very difficult to relate to his 'countrymen'.
This may/probably will seem like a real NZ bashing post to those who love the place, but really that's not my intention. I'm just trying to relate MY story as it was for me ..... after all, perception is reality!
Cutting a very long story short, my mental health started to suffer, my kids were turning into grunting androids instead of the intelligent, animated kids they were back in the UK (the education system was nothing more than a state funded joke). Thankfully, just after we hit the 2 years mark we made a decision to come home.
We've been back almost 3 years now and have to say we have no regrets at all. We have many many fond memories of NZ, we've been back twice since we moved back to the UK. Once for a family funeral and once to take the kids back to see their grandmother. Going back was the best thing we could have possibly done as it confirmed to us that we were right to leave. NZ - for us - is a lovely holiday location and nothing more. We are in an equally rural location in the UK to the one we left and simply can't relate to any of the comments people say about how the UK is going to the dogs. I don't have my head in the sand, I just know for a fact that everywhere in the world has good and bad points. Sadly for us NZ made most of the bad points come to the surface. The kids are thriving in their schools here in the UK and, compared to their NZ cousins who are a couple of years older, are educationally streets ahead. They're just brighter kids all round than they ever were in NZ.
So - for those who are unsure whether their returns to the UK will work or not I have this to say. Wherever the human race resides then you'll get good and bad. you'll get people telling you that you're wrong to do this, that or the other. Maybe they're showing genuine concern for your well being by trying to advise you which way to turn or maybe they're wanting you to do the same as them so that it makes them feel more secure with their decision - who knows. But, like I mentioned before, perception IS reality. Wild horses wouldn't drag me back to live in NZ yet I know that the same applies to a lot of people regarding coming back to the UK. We all have to find that niche in life that suits us best, that makes us feel happy. We need to look past the newspaper headlines and the glossy mags and go and find out for ourselves.
I don't regret our time in NZ, and I'm glad we returned for a holiday as this REALLY did give us peace of mind knowing we did the right thing to leave. It may be the same for those wanting to return, it may not but whatever happens, we wish everybody well.
