Hazey

Ok the same old story, been in Hamilton New Zealand with my kiwi husband for over two years now with my three kids (two born in the UK) I can't seem to shake this homesickness and its getting to me now, my hubby and kids and the in laws are happy but not me ? I miss my life in the Uk, my friends, family, the choices, the feel of the place but don't have the option of moving back anytime soon. It would just be nice to know Im not the only one that feels like this from time to time.

Genesis

I occasionaly have that feeling that it ain't 'right'. But then I think of the alternative back in the UK..and I feel okay again. I will never forget the reasons why I came to NZ. They always beat a bout of homesickness. I feel for you if that is not enough.

Jan n Neil

U are not on ur own we have a great life here but now and again for no apparent reason i think, What if i was back in the UK having a pint with the lads then i look where i live and it soon passes

Neil

Genesis

On another note I have found the transition from main bread winner in the Uk (with a career) to house husband (and the bland reality of domesticity) really really hard. But it was what i bought into and all for the greater good. There are times when its all black such are the hard times looking after 3 very young kids who are well 'spirited'. All I have done is persevered and being safe in the knowledge that we are in the right place for the family as a whole I soldier on. There are many plus sides to this life of mine...like I have 'retired' in some ways much sooner than I would have in the UK. Kate earns enough for us as a family so there is no pressure on me to earn (just to make sure I don't lose another small family fortune on bad investments!!).


PM me if you like..to a degree there are some similarities in our lives. Chin up what?

bga

[QUOTE=Genesis;8437810]On another note I have found the transition from main bread winner in the Uk (with a career) to house husband (and the bland reality of domesticity) really really hard. But it was what i bought into and all for the greater good. There are times when its all black such are the hard times looking after 3 very young kids who are well 'spirited'. All I have done is persevered and being safe in the knowledge that we are in the right place for the family as a whole I soldier on. There are many plus sides to this life of mine...like I have 'retired' in some ways much sooner than I would have in the UK. Kate earns enough for us as a family so there is no pressure on me to earn (just to make sure I don't lose another small family fortune on bad investments!!).

Someone else in my boat, I was the main breadwinner in the UK now earn a paltry second wage and am at home most of the time with the kids, ( who goes without saying, I adore ), but as mentioned "the bland reality of domesticity" does my head in, miss "the lads" in the UK, daft thing is I didn't get to see 'em that much now we've all grown up and had kids ourselves. Moved here for the clichéd "better life" which , apart from having no family round them, the kids definitely have, off the subject a bit i know, but yeah.. I get homesick periodically - I'm doing ok at the mo but a few weeks ago i could have upped and left NZ and gone home, no apparent reason for it just felt really depressed about it all. It comes and goes and probably will for a while, again, anyone fancy a rant PM me and i'll rant back makes me feel better

hazeandsteve

We've got a friend who desperately misses it all back there, but we don't.
It's a definite mental thing cos I don't get why she wants to go, and she'll never get why we love it here, but it's cool to sit and have a bleat at each other.
Hope she comes round cos Haze would dearly miss her!

kiwi_allens

i know how you feel im at home 24/7 with our 2 year old while my hubby is at work. been looking for a part time job i dont have a car so limited to where i can work. we dont get to go out on our own much as dont have any family or friends (yet). before we got here we said we would give it 2 years and if 1 of us couldnt settle then we would go back to the uk. hopefully things will start to improve.

bga

Spooky.. we said the two year thing also, although i think the mrs has conveniently forgotten that chat been in the running for an evening job and got an email today telling me that I've not got it so that little chink of light has been extinguished.. good luck with your job hunting.. where are you anyway.. theres bits and bobs part time wise in auckland, but i'm either "over qualified" or too "inexperienced" bah

BEVS

Nah ! Rant on here. It will make a fair few feel better. It's good to share.

bga

OK , I also post on the positive forums too .. on my good days - of which there are many

Am Loolah

BEVS is right, by posting on the public forum, but with username anonymity, it can be quite cathertic but also really reassuring to others who may be feeling the same. From what I have been told by some friends, it can be a really hard subject to broach with real life friends. Also family, especially those in the UK.

A friend of mine was suffering badly and it all came out one slightly tipsy evening of sav and snot ... Hers not mine! She'd been bottling it up for fear of isolating herself from her friends here incase we didn't understand, or someone told her to pull herself together. Oh dear, that doesn't make me sound like a very observant/supportive mate does it?!

Anyway, once she started turned out she wasn't alone after all! It's perfectly ok to feel homesick and perfectly ok not to - we are all different after all.

Jan n Neil

Funny things make you have pangs, I noticed just today. I love life in NZ and I totally love my job here so I'm lucky. But at the moment I am working in Kuala Lumpur, my first trip outside NZ since emigrating here, and going for lunch today walked past Marks and Spencers, Mango and TopShop in downtown KL. I felt like crying (briefly) and yet I have not felt "homesick"for the UK at all since arriving, or perhaps I've just sucessfully denied it to myself..... But I always miss my nearest and dearest, probably miss my best friend most of all....

Jan


edit PS I did feel the need to go into Marks and buy a shirt for work

pricklykina

I still get pangs, ten years on...but they are less frequent ( no less crippling when they hit though) So I do feel for you...especially with small kids. It's hard then to claim a life of your own that isn't entwined with theirs.

I don't know what helped me really. I had a baby and went a bit gaga afterwards which meant that I go to do groups with maternal mental health (gasp..that was a big one to share...doesn't come out often)

That changed my life really. I met people at a support group who became really close friends and I got free counselling that gave me the confidence to go and get my degree. Study helped but, you know, it's only the last 3 years since I've been working that I've come into my own. I was always laughing in the UK and that stopped here for years. Now I finally know people that crack me up, or perhaps I'm more able to let go.

I do say that migrants lose a part of themselves in the process often. Like an amputation and the loss is felt keenly.

But it is survivable. I am amazed at what the human spirit can endure.

teeym

For those of you who can't shake the nagging feeling about the grass of home being that much greener, let me remind you what you're missing.


And that's before we get on to such wonders as Tesco Value sausages, striking union people, Saturday night TV, public transport........

Him and Me

Teeym,

That's cheered me up no end!!! Thanks for the reminder

what a cracking post