Homesickness
Apr 10th 2010, 6:35 pm
#76
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 27
Re: Homesickness
Yes I find that quite ironic that you should use the exact words that have been throw at me for the past two and a half years. I think that by sucking it up I have (for me personally) made it worse, by burying an emotion its not just going to go away and by not trying to work it out it only makes it worse (for me). Whether you never get Homesick, or it takes 6 weeks, 6 months or even 6 years its an emotion that I have felt (even after trying to suck it up) hard to control. I don't get up in the morning and think "Ok today Im going to be homesick" for months I can be getting on with my kiwi life and then all off a sudden, Wham, bam something triggers it all off again, whether that be a family/friend event, a missed food, a missed feeling or a missed place. Sometimes to a certain degree I can do my best but not always. Selling up and moving back for me personally is not an opition at present ( not cheap moving back a family of five) so its not always going to be that black or white, abit like the homesickness. Ive married into a kiwi family, I have throw myself into a New Zealand way of life and I don't just sit on my backside crying into my pillow everyday. I am blessed to have many friends here and have an active life so whilst I would like to just suck it up and get on with it or even pack up and go back to a place that I didn't have any major issues with I can't. What makes this web site work is people share a common bond and are willing to share there experiences and for me thats been amazing. I am very envious of people that have moved here and never looked back, if only.
Apr 10th 2010, 8:20 pm
#77
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Pirongia
Posts: 211
Re: Homesickness
Agree.....it isn't that black and white. Yes, I would sell up and go back but it isn't just about me. O.H. got up this morning...watched football on Sky, has now gone out fishing at Raglan with a mate and then will come home and have a few beers in the garden admiring the mountain. He loves it here and did from Day 1. My kids have grown into teenagers here and have lots of friends. They can hardly remember the UK and don't even want to go back for a holiday.And I do still think it is so much better for them here. So 'yes' , I am sucking it up and trying hard to settle and most of the time it is easier. I could go on about my father being really ill back home and feeling useless about not helping my family there or that I think , in hindsight, we picked the wrong place to buy a place to live. We live in a village that I can walk our dog round and not see a soul. Could go on but don't want to be perceived as a martyr or moaner but I am a wife and a mother.
Apr 11th 2010, 7:42 am
#79
Joined: May 2009
Location: Welly UK to Welly NZ to Welly UK
Posts: 2,227
Re: Homesickness
I've been reluctant to get too involved in this thread for fear of people making comments like 'you've got to give it time' or 'its a bit early to be thinking of going home'...etc etc, but now feel I can post objectively and not give a toss about what others say/ think (read that as I can now post without leaking eyes affecting vision!!).....'Home sickness'/'emotional sickness' whatever label you put on it is something that hit me like a steam train
last week.
I was prepared to miss our kids, our dear friends, our UK house with central heating
my familiarity with life in general, changes in formalities like buying a car etc etc but what I wasn't prepared for was how a prospect of a permanent move to NZ would make me feel as a person. Its not easy to explain but I feel as though I've left my heart in Somerset and I now realise that that is where 'home' is for me......So.....for that and other practical reasons we're now working out when/how etc we'll go 'home' and then we'll start planning our next long break in NZ no doubt!!
I do think we're so fortunate in that we've tried, loved it, etc etc but still have the option of going 'home' and returning (hopefully many timesto sample the joys of NZ 
Home/emotional sickness is a term banded about to describe emotions/feelings etc which are individual to the person who may be going through the angst and turmoil brought on by a move 12000 miles away from 'home'....... it may be brought on for different reasons but IMO should not be 'belittled' in anyway by those fortunate enough not to have been hit by it.....
sigh.....now I've got that off my chest I'll go and eat my dinner .....and may just open another bottle
B x
last week.I was prepared to miss our kids, our dear friends, our UK house with central heating
my familiarity with life in general, changes in formalities like buying a car etc etc but what I wasn't prepared for was how a prospect of a permanent move to NZ would make me feel as a person. Its not easy to explain but I feel as though I've left my heart in Somerset and I now realise that that is where 'home' is for me......So.....for that and other practical reasons we're now working out when/how etc we'll go 'home' and then we'll start planning our next long break in NZ no doubt!!I do think we're so fortunate in that we've tried, loved it, etc etc but still have the option of going 'home' and returning (hopefully many times
to sample the joys of NZ Home/emotional sickness is a term banded about to describe emotions/feelings etc which are individual to the person who may be going through the angst and turmoil brought on by a move 12000 miles away from 'home'....... it may be brought on for different reasons but IMO should not be 'belittled' in anyway by those fortunate enough not to have been hit by it.....
sigh.....now I've got that off my chest I'll go and eat my dinner .....and may just open another bottle
B x
Apr 11th 2010, 8:24 am
#80
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: bottom of the world
Posts: 4,533
Re: Homesickness
I have migrated in the past to another country, we didnt like it and went
back to the uk after less than a year. I felt no obligation to stay and give
it a go. i didnt like it and wasnt happy so i sold up, packed up and went home.
it was easy and the best thing i could have done at the time. I have never
regretted the decision.
This time round its been different. We've had ups and downs in nz, my son
returned to the uk and we miss him but accept that its his life and he can
live it as he chooses. Elements of nz life drive me mad, i dislike the the idiot
farmers who think they run the place and the small minded attitude of the
business's is very annoying.
I dont give a toss about the scenery, the mountains and lakes or the extremely
disapointing beaches but despite all that i sucked it up and got on with it,
I dont spare any thoughts for the uk, i miss my local pub and the beer i used
to drink and choice in shops when i used to go into town. would i give up nz
for them, no. do i mope around when i think of them,no i get on with my life
and accept that they are gone.
I had bouts of homesickness when we arrived so i know what its like but
i found the kiwis had a very good remedy for it, its called harden the f**k up
and moved on
back to the uk after less than a year. I felt no obligation to stay and give
it a go. i didnt like it and wasnt happy so i sold up, packed up and went home.
it was easy and the best thing i could have done at the time. I have never
regretted the decision.
This time round its been different. We've had ups and downs in nz, my son
returned to the uk and we miss him but accept that its his life and he can
live it as he chooses. Elements of nz life drive me mad, i dislike the the idiot
farmers who think they run the place and the small minded attitude of the
business's is very annoying.
I dont give a toss about the scenery, the mountains and lakes or the extremely
disapointing beaches but despite all that i sucked it up and got on with it,
I dont spare any thoughts for the uk, i miss my local pub and the beer i used
to drink and choice in shops when i used to go into town. would i give up nz
for them, no. do i mope around when i think of them,no i get on with my life
and accept that they are gone.
I had bouts of homesickness when we arrived so i know what its like but
i found the kiwis had a very good remedy for it, its called harden the f**k up
and moved on
Apr 11th 2010, 8:25 am
#81
Just Joined
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 21
Re: Homesickness
Hello everyone
I haven't been on BExpats for a while, but thought I would add to this thread. I started a very similar thread a couple of months ago, about homesickness. We came here in August last year and felt things were not right for us by xmas, and made the decision to go back to the UK. It's not straight forward at all making the decision and deep down i know it's the right thing for us to do, sometimes I look around where we are living and how beautiful the weather has been this summer and how warm it still is even though it is autumn. I love the stunning scenery and i feel very sad about leaving NZ. I do wish it had worked out but alas we feel it didnt. We have booked our flights home and are leaving in a couple of weeks and we are feeling very excited about going home, its the most we have looked forward to in a long time.
We are trying to get work sorted out and will be staying for a short time with my parents which will be nice to spend time with them but we will quickly need to find our own house. That is something else I am longing for, a place to call our own home again, for different reasons we have stayed with a relative here, who has been great and very supportive she did not charge us much rent so when we made the decision to go back to the UK we decided to continue staying with her to save for our flights back and setting up our home once we got back. So I can't wait to have my own home again.
I wish all those who feel homesick the very best, it appears to be a very common feeling for the majority of us, it is so powerful when it strikes and I have felt panicky about my feelings of missing family, friends and even basic things like foodstuffs. We have made some friends and our son is more settled, but he does miss his grandparents and we miss having support with child care. We have had some amazing family quality time together and have enjoyed just being the three of us, but at times we still feel it is just like being on a long holiday and not like living a real life if that makes sense.
I will update you all once we are back and settled in the UK
I haven't been on BExpats for a while, but thought I would add to this thread. I started a very similar thread a couple of months ago, about homesickness. We came here in August last year and felt things were not right for us by xmas, and made the decision to go back to the UK. It's not straight forward at all making the decision and deep down i know it's the right thing for us to do, sometimes I look around where we are living and how beautiful the weather has been this summer and how warm it still is even though it is autumn. I love the stunning scenery and i feel very sad about leaving NZ. I do wish it had worked out but alas we feel it didnt. We have booked our flights home and are leaving in a couple of weeks and we are feeling very excited about going home, its the most we have looked forward to in a long time.
We are trying to get work sorted out and will be staying for a short time with my parents which will be nice to spend time with them but we will quickly need to find our own house. That is something else I am longing for, a place to call our own home again, for different reasons we have stayed with a relative here, who has been great and very supportive she did not charge us much rent so when we made the decision to go back to the UK we decided to continue staying with her to save for our flights back and setting up our home once we got back. So I can't wait to have my own home again.
I wish all those who feel homesick the very best, it appears to be a very common feeling for the majority of us, it is so powerful when it strikes and I have felt panicky about my feelings of missing family, friends and even basic things like foodstuffs. We have made some friends and our son is more settled, but he does miss his grandparents and we miss having support with child care. We have had some amazing family quality time together and have enjoyed just being the three of us, but at times we still feel it is just like being on a long holiday and not like living a real life if that makes sense.
I will update you all once we are back and settled in the UK
Apr 11th 2010, 8:47 am
#82
Joined: May 2009
Location: Welly UK to Welly NZ to Welly UK
Posts: 2,227
Re: Homesickness
[QUOTE=colandros;8487592]I have migrated in the past to another country, we didnt like it and went
back to the uk after less than a year. I felt no obligation to stay and give
it a go. i didnt like it and wasnt happy so i sold up, packed up and went home.
it was easy and the best thing i could have done at the time. I have never
regretted the decision.
This time round its been different. We've had ups and downs in nz, my son
returned to the uk and we miss him but accept that its his life and he can
live it as he chooses. Elements of nz life drive me mad, i dislike the the idiot
farmers who think they run the place and the small minded attitude of the
business's is very annoying.
I dont give a toss about the scenery, the mountains and lakes or the extremely
disapointing beaches but despite all that i sucked it up and got on with it,
I dont spare any thoughts for the uk, i miss my local pub and the beer i used
to drink and choice in shops when i used to go into town. would i give up nz
for them, no. do i mope around when i think of them,no i get on with my life
and accept that they are gone.
I had bouts of homesickness when we arrived so i know what its like but
i found the kiwis had a very good remedy for it, its called harden the f**k up
and moved on[/QUOTE
Col, I'm really pleased that you've been able to adopt the 'kiwi remedy' and move on, 'each to their own' etc, but for me (as a person in their own right who is entitled to feel & express my personal feelings & emotions), it's something more than missing people, things etc or one place being better, more beautiful than another etc its something that I didn't know I held in my soul and something that is so difficult to explain to someone who is fortunate enough to be able to 'move on'. I also recognise that we (OH & I) are fortunate in that we are able to go 'home' and can return to the land of OH's birth to enjoy all that NZ has to offer if & when we choose.
B x
back to the uk after less than a year. I felt no obligation to stay and give
it a go. i didnt like it and wasnt happy so i sold up, packed up and went home.
it was easy and the best thing i could have done at the time. I have never
regretted the decision.
This time round its been different. We've had ups and downs in nz, my son
returned to the uk and we miss him but accept that its his life and he can
live it as he chooses. Elements of nz life drive me mad, i dislike the the idiot
farmers who think they run the place and the small minded attitude of the
business's is very annoying.
I dont give a toss about the scenery, the mountains and lakes or the extremely
disapointing beaches but despite all that i sucked it up and got on with it,
I dont spare any thoughts for the uk, i miss my local pub and the beer i used
to drink and choice in shops when i used to go into town. would i give up nz
for them, no. do i mope around when i think of them,no i get on with my life
and accept that they are gone.
I had bouts of homesickness when we arrived so i know what its like but
i found the kiwis had a very good remedy for it, its called harden the f**k up
and moved on[/QUOTE
Col, I'm really pleased that you've been able to adopt the 'kiwi remedy' and move on, 'each to their own' etc, but for me (as a person in their own right who is entitled to feel & express my personal feelings & emotions), it's something more than missing people, things etc or one place being better, more beautiful than another etc its something that I didn't know I held in my soul and something that is so difficult to explain to someone who is fortunate enough to be able to 'move on'. I also recognise that we (OH & I) are fortunate in that we are able to go 'home' and can return to the land of OH's birth to enjoy all that NZ has to offer if & when we choose.
B x
Apr 11th 2010, 1:08 pm
#83
Scorchy legs
Joined: Jul 2009
Location: Kapiti coast
Posts: 2,069
Re: Homesickness
I've been reluctant to get too involved in this thread for fear of people making comments like 'you've got to give it time' or 'its a bit early to be thinking of going home'...etc etc, but now feel I can post objectively and not give a toss about what others say/ think (read that as I can now post without leaking eyes affecting vision!!).....'Home sickness'/'emotional sickness' whatever label you put on it is something that hit me like a steam trainlast week.
I was prepared to miss our kids, our dear friends, our UK house with central heating my familiarity with life in general, changes in formalities like buying a car etc etc but what I wasn't prepared for was how a prospect of a permanent move to NZ would make me feel as a person. Its not easy to explain but I feel as though I've left my heart in Somerset and I now realise that that is where 'home' is for me......So.....for that and other practical reasons we're now working out when/how etc we'll go 'home' and then we'll start planning our next long break in NZ no doubt!!
I do think we're so fortunate in that we've tried, loved it, etc etc but still have the option of going 'home' and returning (hopefully many timesto sample the joys of NZ
Home/emotional sickness is a term banded about to describe emotions/feelings etc which are individual to the person who may be going through the angst and turmoil brought on by a move 12000 miles away from 'home'....... it may be brought on for different reasons but IMO should not be 'belittled' in anyway by those fortunate enough not to have been hit by it.....
sigh.....now I've got that off my chest I'll go and eat my dinner .....and may just open another bottle
B x
last week.I was prepared to miss our kids, our dear friends, our UK house with central heating
my familiarity with life in general, changes in formalities like buying a car etc etc but what I wasn't prepared for was how a prospect of a permanent move to NZ would make me feel as a person. Its not easy to explain but I feel as though I've left my heart in Somerset and I now realise that that is where 'home' is for me......So.....for that and other practical reasons we're now working out when/how etc we'll go 'home' and then we'll start planning our next long break in NZ no doubt!!I do think we're so fortunate in that we've tried, loved it, etc etc but still have the option of going 'home' and returning (hopefully many times
to sample the joys of NZ Home/emotional sickness is a term banded about to describe emotions/feelings etc which are individual to the person who may be going through the angst and turmoil brought on by a move 12000 miles away from 'home'....... it may be brought on for different reasons but IMO should not be 'belittled' in anyway by those fortunate enough not to have been hit by it.....
sigh.....now I've got that off my chest I'll go and eat my dinner .....and may just open another bottle
B x
its not easy and well done for posting this very honest thread. It will be a comfort to anyone that is feeling the same as you but do not want to express it through fear of someone shouting them down and not being seen as tough enough.Good for you
Dewb xx
Apr 11th 2010, 1:30 pm
#84
Scorchy legs
Joined: Jul 2009
Location: Kapiti coast
Posts: 2,069
Re: Homesickness
Hello everyone
I haven't been on BExpats for a while, but thought I would add to this thread. I started a very similar thread a couple of months ago, about homesickness. We came here in August last year and felt things were not right for us by xmas, and made the decision to go back to the UK. It's not straight forward at all making the decision and deep down i know it's the right thing for us to do, sometimes I look around where we are living and how beautiful the weather has been this summer and how warm it still is even though it is autumn. I love the stunning scenery and i feel very sad about leaving NZ. I do wish it had worked out but alas we feel it didnt. We have booked our flights home and are leaving in a couple of weeks and we are feeling very excited about going home, its the most we have looked forward to in a long time.
We are trying to get work sorted out and will be staying for a short time with my parents which will be nice to spend time with them but we will quickly need to find our own house. That is something else I am longing for, a place to call our own home again, for different reasons we have stayed with a relative here, who has been great and very supportive she did not charge us much rent so when we made the decision to go back to the UK we decided to continue staying with her to save for our flights back and setting up our home once we got back. So I can't wait to have my own home again.
I wish all those who feel homesick the very best, it appears to be a very common feeling for the majority of us, it is so powerful when it strikes and I have felt panicky about my feelings of missing family, friends and even basic things like foodstuffs. We have made some friends and our son is more settled, but he does miss his grandparents and we miss having support with child care. We have had some amazing family quality time together and have enjoyed just being the three of us, but at times we still feel it is just like being on a long holiday and not like living a real life if that makes sense.
I will update you all once we are back and settled in the UK
I haven't been on BExpats for a while, but thought I would add to this thread. I started a very similar thread a couple of months ago, about homesickness. We came here in August last year and felt things were not right for us by xmas, and made the decision to go back to the UK. It's not straight forward at all making the decision and deep down i know it's the right thing for us to do, sometimes I look around where we are living and how beautiful the weather has been this summer and how warm it still is even though it is autumn. I love the stunning scenery and i feel very sad about leaving NZ. I do wish it had worked out but alas we feel it didnt. We have booked our flights home and are leaving in a couple of weeks and we are feeling very excited about going home, its the most we have looked forward to in a long time.
We are trying to get work sorted out and will be staying for a short time with my parents which will be nice to spend time with them but we will quickly need to find our own house. That is something else I am longing for, a place to call our own home again, for different reasons we have stayed with a relative here, who has been great and very supportive she did not charge us much rent so when we made the decision to go back to the UK we decided to continue staying with her to save for our flights back and setting up our home once we got back. So I can't wait to have my own home again.
I wish all those who feel homesick the very best, it appears to be a very common feeling for the majority of us, it is so powerful when it strikes and I have felt panicky about my feelings of missing family, friends and even basic things like foodstuffs. We have made some friends and our son is more settled, but he does miss his grandparents and we miss having support with child care. We have had some amazing family quality time together and have enjoyed just being the three of us, but at times we still feel it is just like being on a long holiday and not like living a real life if that makes sense.
I will update you all once we are back and settled in the UK
all works out well for you Dewb
Apr 11th 2010, 8:52 pm
#85
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Pirongia
Posts: 211
Re: Homesickness
Sometimes it isn't about who, or what, you do or don't miss....it's about a feeling of belonging. I just don't feel that I belong here.
Apr 11th 2010, 8:53 pm
#86
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Pirongia
Posts: 211
Re: Homesickness
And Good Luck! Abigayle.
Apr 11th 2010, 9:40 pm
#88
Joined: May 2009
Location: Welly UK to Welly NZ to Welly UK
Posts: 2,227
Re: Homesickness
Hello everyone
I haven't been on BExpats for a while, but thought I would add to this thread. I started a very similar thread a couple of months ago, about homesickness. We came here in August last year and felt things were not right for us by xmas, and made the decision to go back to the UK. It's not straight forward at all making the decision and deep down i know it's the right thing for us to do, sometimes I look around where we are living and how beautiful the weather has been this summer and how warm it still is even though it is autumn. I love the stunning scenery and i feel very sad about leaving NZ. I do wish it had worked out but alas we feel it didnt. We have booked our flights home and are leaving in a couple of weeks and we are feeling very excited about going home, its the most we have looked forward to in a long time.
We are trying to get work sorted out and will be staying for a short time with my parents which will be nice to spend time with them but we will quickly need to find our own house. That is something else I am longing for, a place to call our own home again, for different reasons we have stayed with a relative here, who has been great and very supportive she did not charge us much rent so when we made the decision to go back to the UK we decided to continue staying with her to save for our flights back and setting up our home once we got back. So I can't wait to have my own home again.
I wish all those who feel homesick the very best, it appears to be a very common feeling for the majority of us, it is so powerful when it strikes and I have felt panicky about my feelings of missing family, friends and even basic things like foodstuffs. We have made some friends and our son is more settled, but he does miss his grandparents and we miss having support with child care. We have had some amazing family quality time together and have enjoyed just being the three of us, but at times we still feel it is just like being on a long holiday and not like living a real life if that makes sense.
I will update you all once we are back and settled in the UK
I haven't been on BExpats for a while, but thought I would add to this thread. I started a very similar thread a couple of months ago, about homesickness. We came here in August last year and felt things were not right for us by xmas, and made the decision to go back to the UK. It's not straight forward at all making the decision and deep down i know it's the right thing for us to do, sometimes I look around where we are living and how beautiful the weather has been this summer and how warm it still is even though it is autumn. I love the stunning scenery and i feel very sad about leaving NZ. I do wish it had worked out but alas we feel it didnt. We have booked our flights home and are leaving in a couple of weeks and we are feeling very excited about going home, its the most we have looked forward to in a long time.
We are trying to get work sorted out and will be staying for a short time with my parents which will be nice to spend time with them but we will quickly need to find our own house. That is something else I am longing for, a place to call our own home again, for different reasons we have stayed with a relative here, who has been great and very supportive she did not charge us much rent so when we made the decision to go back to the UK we decided to continue staying with her to save for our flights back and setting up our home once we got back. So I can't wait to have my own home again.
I wish all those who feel homesick the very best, it appears to be a very common feeling for the majority of us, it is so powerful when it strikes and I have felt panicky about my feelings of missing family, friends and even basic things like foodstuffs. We have made some friends and our son is more settled, but he does miss his grandparents and we miss having support with child care. We have had some amazing family quality time together and have enjoyed just being the three of us, but at times we still feel it is just like being on a long holiday and not like living a real life if that makes sense.
I will update you all once we are back and settled in the UK
Look forward to your update from home!!
B x
Apr 12th 2010, 7:40 pm
#89
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 260
Re: Homesickness
For those of you who can't shake the nagging feeling about the grass of home being that much greener, let me remind you what you're missing.
And that's before we get on to such wonders as Tesco Value sausages, striking union people, Saturday night TV, public transport........
http://cornerstonegroup.files.wordpr...7/05/chavs.jpg
Aspirational youth of today.
http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thum...ation-sign.jpg
Petrol prices - it's gone up since this was taken!
http://apassahead.co.uk/images/all%20weather.jpg
Great British weather.
http://www.empirechronicles.co.uk/wp...rdon-brown.jpg
Him.
Aspirational youth of today.
http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thum...ation-sign.jpg
Petrol prices - it's gone up since this was taken!
http://apassahead.co.uk/images/all%20weather.jpg
Great British weather.
http://www.empirechronicles.co.uk/wp...rdon-brown.jpg
Him.
And that's before we get on to such wonders as Tesco Value sausages, striking union people, Saturday night TV, public transport........
Today I paid 1.22 pence for a litre of unleaded petrol and it is still going up. Hubby a HGV driver paid 1.33 last week on the motorway. miss the NZ petrol
prices.
Apr 12th 2010, 8:45 pm
#90
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 2,077
Re: Homesickness
It,s creeping up here, gone up 10c since we got here 