Homesickness
Apr 5th 2010, 7:29 am
#46
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: New lynn/Titirangi
Posts: 13
Re: Homesickness
Seven months in and for the first time on friday I felt h/sick? Its much better here than in the uk, but starting to miss my old life now
Had the best mates ever in the uk, most of them email at least once a week, but knowing i'll never have friends like that here sucks, i've got loads of kiwi mates but its not the same! I miss my old car Knowing that if I stay here I'll never be able to afford a car like that again! and holidays its too expensive here to have our two trips a year abroad and clothes are soo expensive here to. The fact that I now earn in a week what I used to earn in a day probably doesnt help, but OH earns the same as she did in the uk and I earn well above kiwi average wage, lifes just harder now! I do love it here but can't afford to stay if our situation doesnt change, its my own fault for thinking we could have a similar lifestyle here as we had in the uk? but we're not giving up yet because we love our house/shed here and we love what we've seen of nz and know theres still more and better things to see
. What I really miss is the security we had in the uk, Knowing that you can call on friends or family in the uk at any time, for any reason, and someone will be there in minutes!. It's monday now and still feeling a bit down, but tomorrow's another day, hopefully it will pass? Do feel better for having a moan on here though
Had the best mates ever in the uk, most of them email at least once a week, but knowing i'll never have friends like that here sucks, i've got loads of kiwi mates but its not the same! I miss my old car Knowing that if I stay here I'll never be able to afford a car like that again! and holidays its too expensive here to have our two trips a year abroad and clothes are soo expensive here to. The fact that I now earn in a week what I used to earn in a day probably doesnt help, but OH earns the same as she did in the uk and I earn well above kiwi average wage, lifes just harder now! I do love it here but can't afford to stay if our situation doesnt change, its my own fault for thinking we could have a similar lifestyle here as we had in the uk? but we're not giving up yet because we love our house/shed here and we love what we've seen of nz and know theres still more and better things to see. What I really miss is the security we had in the uk, Knowing that you can call on friends or family in the uk at any time, for any reason, and someone will be there in minutes!. It's monday now and still feeling a bit down, but tomorrow's another day, hopefully it will pass? Do feel better for having a moan on here though
Apr 5th 2010, 7:43 am
#47
Joined: May 2009
Location: Welly UK to Welly NZ to Welly UK
Posts: 2,227
Re: Homesickness
Seven months in and for the first time on friday I felt h/sick? Its much better here than in the uk, but starting to miss my old life now Had the best mates ever in the uk, most of them email at least once a week, but knowing i'll never have friends like that here sucks, i've got loads of kiwi mates but its not the same! I miss my old car Knowing that if I stay here I'll never be able to afford a car like that again! and holidays its too expensive here to have our two trips a year abroad and clothes are soo expensive here to. The fact that I now earn in a week what I used to earn in a day probably doesnt help, but OH earns the same as she did in the uk and I earn well above kiwi average wage, lifes just harder now! I do love it here but can't afford to stay if our situation doesnt change, its my own fault for thinking we could have a similar lifestyle here as we had in the uk? but we're not giving up yet because we love our house/shed here and we love what we've seen of nz and know theres still more and better things to see. What I really miss is the security we had in the uk, Knowing that you can call on friends or family in the uk at any time, for any reason, and someone will be there in minutes!. It's monday now and still feeling a bit down, but tomorrow's another day, hopefully it will pass? Do feel better for having a moan on here though
Had the best mates ever in the uk, most of them email at least once a week, but knowing i'll never have friends like that here sucks, i've got loads of kiwi mates but its not the same! I miss my old car Knowing that if I stay here I'll never be able to afford a car like that again! and holidays its too expensive here to have our two trips a year abroad and clothes are soo expensive here to. The fact that I now earn in a week what I used to earn in a day probably doesnt help, but OH earns the same as she did in the uk and I earn well above kiwi average wage, lifes just harder now! I do love it here but can't afford to stay if our situation doesnt change, its my own fault for thinking we could have a similar lifestyle here as we had in the uk? but we're not giving up yet because we love our house/shed here and we love what we've seen of nz and know theres still more and better things to see. What I really miss is the security we had in the uk, Knowing that you can call on friends or family in the uk at any time, for any reason, and someone will be there in minutes!. It's monday now and still feeling a bit down, but tomorrow's another day, hopefully it will pass? Do feel better for having a moan on here though
tomorrow and although we can't be there in minutes we & the folks on here would pitch in to support if it was asked for.....you're not alone!! I had 'blips' before we came over and I'm still getting them
(2 mths in 
)Glad you feel better for having a moan.....'blips' do seem to pass for most 
for you.B x
Apr 5th 2010, 9:08 am
#48
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2007
Location: Christchurch NZ.
Posts: 150
Re: Homesickness
This Easter wknd has been hard for me...it's a time we usually spend with family, i just feel sad to have missed out on the meals and fun.
Even though we're only been here since 22nd Jan i've missed my grandad's 80th party, younger brothers b'day, my niece's 1st B'day, mothers day and now Easter i know i'm going miss out on these things every year but they've all just came right behind each other.
...it's a time we usually spend with family, i just feel sad to have missed out on the meals and fun. Even though we're only been here since 22nd Jan i've missed my grandad's 80th party, younger brothers b'day, my niece's 1st B'day, mothers day and now Easter
i know i'm going miss out on these things every year but they've all just came right behind each other.
Apr 5th 2010, 9:51 am
#49
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 240
Re: Homesickness
This Easter wknd has been hard for me...it's a time we usually spend with family, i just feel sad to have missed out on the meals and fun.
Even though we're only been here since 22nd Jan i've missed my grandad's 80th party, younger brothers b'day, my niece's 1st B'day, mothers day and now Easter i know i'm going miss out on these things every year but they've all just came right behind each other.
...it's a time we usually spend with family, i just feel sad to have missed out on the meals and fun. Even though we're only been here since 22nd Jan i've missed my grandad's 80th party, younger brothers b'day, my niece's 1st B'day, mothers day and now Easter
i know i'm going miss out on these things every year but they've all just came right behind each other.Today is my niece's 2nd birthday. I've never spent any with her except the day she was born I was there. Its hard but my brother has been great and does skype with me a few times a month so she knows me and we talk (well now we do cause she can actually talk) I remind myself that i came here so MY family has a better life and that the shortfall of that choice is missing out on my niece and nephew, no hugs etc.... but in the longterm, i've had to be a bit selfish and think of whats best for my young family.
I'd give anything to spend a day with my best friend who is still in Ireland. She has recently just cancelled her phone line at home because she is having such a bad time with work situation/recession/pay cuts etc... so keeping in contact with her has become very hard. It wont stop our friendship tho, and she is still my best friend no matter what/where we go/do. She misses me as much I do her.
Making a new life here is hard but we all know that before we even get here. Its what we make of it that counts. I'm trying daily to get out there and make more friends. I like having a friend for every kind of need. In Ireland I had alot of them but here I have just a handful. I havnt had to yet, but I know I could, just call on them at any time of the day or night. There are days tho that I should call out on them but dont. Its like anywhere in the world I suppose, we have to gain the trust and respect of a friend and that all takes time. We have to give time - time.
So what better way to make yourself feel that you have not missed out - than start making new memories in your new life. When a special time of year comes round get planning, do something fun - when a birthday comes round - raise your glass to them and be thankfull that they are still in your life - even if it is on the other side of the world!
Apr 5th 2010, 4:29 pm
#50
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 208
Re: Homesickness
i always find its better for me if i dont think of these occasions as i've missed out - easter will be every year and so will birthdays of friends/family. I try and just remember that all the occasions that i did share with loved ones were really great ones and i'm grateful that I had that time with them.
Today is my niece's 2nd birthday. I've never spent any with her except the day she was born I was there. Its hard but my brother has been great and does skype with me a few times a month so she knows me and we talk (well now we do cause she can actually talk) I remind myself that i came here so MY family has a better life and that the shortfall of that choice is missing out on my niece and nephew, no hugs etc.... but in the longterm, i've had to be a bit selfish and think of whats best for my young family.
I'd give anything to spend a day with my best friend who is still in Ireland. She has recently just cancelled her phone line at home because she is having such a bad time with work situation/recession/pay cuts etc... so keeping in contact with her has become very hard. It wont stop our friendship tho, and she is still my best friend no matter what/where we go/do. She misses me as much I do her.
Making a new life here is hard but we all know that before we even get here. Its what we make of it that counts. I'm trying daily to get out there and make more friends. I like having a friend for every kind of need. In Ireland I had alot of them but here I have just a handful. I havnt had to yet, but I know I could, just call on them at any time of the day or night. There are days tho that I should call out on them but dont. Its like anywhere in the world I suppose, we have to gain the trust and respect of a friend and that all takes time. We have to give time - time.
So what better way to make yourself feel that you have not missed out - than start making new memories in your new life. When a special time of year comes round get planning, do something fun - when a birthday comes round - raise your glass to them and be thankfull that they are still in your life - even if it is on the other side of the world!
Today is my niece's 2nd birthday. I've never spent any with her except the day she was born I was there. Its hard but my brother has been great and does skype with me a few times a month so she knows me and we talk (well now we do cause she can actually talk) I remind myself that i came here so MY family has a better life and that the shortfall of that choice is missing out on my niece and nephew, no hugs etc.... but in the longterm, i've had to be a bit selfish and think of whats best for my young family.
I'd give anything to spend a day with my best friend who is still in Ireland. She has recently just cancelled her phone line at home because she is having such a bad time with work situation/recession/pay cuts etc... so keeping in contact with her has become very hard. It wont stop our friendship tho, and she is still my best friend no matter what/where we go/do. She misses me as much I do her.
Making a new life here is hard but we all know that before we even get here. Its what we make of it that counts. I'm trying daily to get out there and make more friends. I like having a friend for every kind of need. In Ireland I had alot of them but here I have just a handful. I havnt had to yet, but I know I could, just call on them at any time of the day or night. There are days tho that I should call out on them but dont. Its like anywhere in the world I suppose, we have to gain the trust and respect of a friend and that all takes time. We have to give time - time.
So what better way to make yourself feel that you have not missed out - than start making new memories in your new life. When a special time of year comes round get planning, do something fun - when a birthday comes round - raise your glass to them and be thankfull that they are still in your life - even if it is on the other side of the world!
l just had to say that l read your story into how you went to NZ left then went back etc...you are an inspiration for others...for those of you new to the forum take the time to read all about this young lady and her families adventures...happy
and sometimes sad she reduced so many of us ladies to tears bless her and yet she's remained positive and focused....very positive read above and again very focused well done to you...
Have to say though l do miss my read with my cuppa
Wishing you well and your family
Regards
xxElainexx
Apr 5th 2010, 7:52 pm
#51
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 27
Re: Homesickness
Seven months in and for the first time on friday I felt h/sick? Its much better here than in the uk, but starting to miss my old life now Had the best mates ever in the uk, most of them email at least once a week, but knowing i'll never have friends like that here sucks, i've got loads of kiwi mates but its not the same! I miss my old car Knowing that if I stay here I'll never be able to afford a car like that again! and holidays its too expensive here to have our two trips a year abroad and clothes are soo expensive here to. The fact that I now earn in a week what I used to earn in a day probably doesnt help, but OH earns the same as she did in the uk and I earn well above kiwi average wage, lifes just harder now! I do love it here but can't afford to stay if our situation doesnt change, its my own fault for thinking we could have a similar lifestyle here as we had in the uk? but we're not giving up yet because we love our house/shed here and we love what we've seen of nz and know theres still more and better things to see. What I really miss is the security we had in the uk, Knowing that you can call on friends or family in the uk at any time, for any reason, and someone will be there in minutes!. It's monday now and still feeling a bit down, but tomorrow's another day, hopefully it will pass? Do feel better for having a moan on here though
Had the best mates ever in the uk, most of them email at least once a week, but knowing i'll never have friends like that here sucks, i've got loads of kiwi mates but its not the same! I miss my old car Knowing that if I stay here I'll never be able to afford a car like that again! and holidays its too expensive here to have our two trips a year abroad and clothes are soo expensive here to. The fact that I now earn in a week what I used to earn in a day probably doesnt help, but OH earns the same as she did in the uk and I earn well above kiwi average wage, lifes just harder now! I do love it here but can't afford to stay if our situation doesnt change, its my own fault for thinking we could have a similar lifestyle here as we had in the uk? but we're not giving up yet because we love our house/shed here and we love what we've seen of nz and know theres still more and better things to see. What I really miss is the security we had in the uk, Knowing that you can call on friends or family in the uk at any time, for any reason, and someone will be there in minutes!. It's monday now and still feeling a bit down, but tomorrow's another day, hopefully it will pass? Do feel better for having a moan on here though
Apr 5th 2010, 8:09 pm
#52
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 27
Re: Homesickness
This Easter wknd has been hard for me...it's a time we usually spend with family, i just feel sad to have missed out on the meals and fun.
Even though we're only been here since 22nd Jan i've missed my grandad's 80th party, younger brothers b'day, my niece's 1st B'day, mothers day and now Easter i know i'm going miss out on these things every year but they've all just came right behind each other.
...it's a time we usually spend with family, i just feel sad to have missed out on the meals and fun. Even though we're only been here since 22nd Jan i've missed my grandad's 80th party, younger brothers b'day, my niece's 1st B'day, mothers day and now Easter
i know i'm going miss out on these things every year but they've all just came right behind each other.
Apr 5th 2010, 9:17 pm
#53
Just Joined
Joined: May 2009
Location: Whakatane, Bay of Plenty
Posts: 20
Re: Homesickness
It has been great to read these posts. I logged in today for the first time in months becuase I am feeling seriously homesick and wanted to see how other people manage this.
We have been here for 7 months now (both me and hubby are scottish). I do have my brother and his kiwi wife and their kids here so we arent totally without family in NZ.
Problem is I've recently found out I'm pregnant (first baby) and every instinct in my body is telling me to go home! We always said we would give it two years before we made a final decision about whether to stay or go home and I cant quite believe that only 7 months in I actually want to go back!! Interestingly - I havent felt homesick until I found out I was pregnant.
I just keep thinking about all my family and friends back home who we will be depriving our new baby of having as part of their life. Our baby will miss out on both sets of grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins as well as close friends of ours with young kids. My husband says our baby wont miss what they have never had and of course there will be skype and ocasional visits etc. But it is just not the same as having close family who you can rely on nearby.
The ironic thing is part of the whole bloomin reason for us coming here was to have a better life for our family (once we started one) and now here I am nearly 3 months pregnant and desperate to go back home!
What isnt helping as well is the prospect of financial hardship and having to make so many more compromises than we had first anticipated.
I am also scared of going home and realising what a huge mistake we have made and I am still very aware of the fact that NZ is for many reasons a better place to raise children than where I'm from. On the plus side hubby is very supportive and (although he thinks I'm jsut hormonal which I probably am) thinks we will get through this if we just give it more time.
I am also feeling a bit weird about telling people back home about the pregnancy because I know the questions will all start about what are we going to do? are we going to stay here or come home? I dont want to lie to people but at the same time I dont want my mum and my sister worrying about how homesick I am.
Wow - Felt good to get that off my chest!! Feel better already!
We have been here for 7 months now (both me and hubby are scottish). I do have my brother and his kiwi wife and their kids here so we arent totally without family in NZ.
Problem is I've recently found out I'm pregnant (first baby) and every instinct in my body is telling me to go home! We always said we would give it two years before we made a final decision about whether to stay or go home and I cant quite believe that only 7 months in I actually want to go back!! Interestingly - I havent felt homesick until I found out I was pregnant.
I just keep thinking about all my family and friends back home who we will be depriving our new baby of having as part of their life. Our baby will miss out on both sets of grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins as well as close friends of ours with young kids. My husband says our baby wont miss what they have never had and of course there will be skype and ocasional visits etc. But it is just not the same as having close family who you can rely on nearby.
The ironic thing is part of the whole bloomin reason for us coming here was to have a better life for our family (once we started one) and now here I am nearly 3 months pregnant and desperate to go back home!
What isnt helping as well is the prospect of financial hardship and having to make so many more compromises than we had first anticipated.
I am also scared of going home and realising what a huge mistake we have made and I am still very aware of the fact that NZ is for many reasons a better place to raise children than where I'm from. On the plus side hubby is very supportive and (although he thinks I'm jsut hormonal which I probably am) thinks we will get through this if we just give it more time.
I am also feeling a bit weird about telling people back home about the pregnancy because I know the questions will all start about what are we going to do? are we going to stay here or come home? I dont want to lie to people but at the same time I dont want my mum and my sister worrying about how homesick I am.
Wow - Felt good to get that off my chest!! Feel better already!
Apr 5th 2010, 9:25 pm
#54
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Pirongia
Posts: 211
Re: Homesickness
Well I've been here for 6 years now and I still feel homesick...don't suppose that helps much..........
Apr 5th 2010, 9:50 pm
#56
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 27
Re: Homesickness
It has been great to read these posts. I logged in today for the first time in months becuase I am feeling seriously homesick and wanted to see how other people manage this.
We have been here for 7 months now (both me and hubby are scottish). I do have my brother and his kiwi wife and their kids here so we arent totally without family in NZ.
Problem is I've recently found out I'm pregnant (first baby) and every instinct in my body is telling me to go home! We always said we would give it two years before we made a final decision about whether to stay or go home and I cant quite believe that only 7 months in I actually want to go back!! Interestingly - I havent felt homesick until I found out I was pregnant.
I just keep thinking about all my family and friends back home who we will be depriving our new baby of having as part of their life. Our baby will miss out on both sets of grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins as well as close friends of ours with young kids. My husband says our baby wont miss what they have never had and of course there will be skype and ocasional visits etc. But it is just not the same as having close family who you can rely on nearby.
The ironic thing is part of the whole bloomin reason for us coming here was to have a better life for our family (once we started one) and now here I am nearly 3 months pregnant and desperate to go back home!
What isnt helping as well is the prospect of financial hardship and having to make so many more compromises than we had first anticipated.
I am also scared of going home and realising what a huge mistake we have made and I am still very aware of the fact that NZ is for many reasons a better place to raise children than where I'm from. On the plus side hubby is very supportive and (although he thinks I'm jsut hormonal which I probably am) thinks we will get through this if we just give it more time.
I am also feeling a bit weird about telling people back home about the pregnancy because I know the questions will all start about what are we going to do? are we going to stay here or come home? I dont want to lie to people but at the same time I dont want my mum and my sister worrying about how homesick I am.
Wow - Felt good to get that off my chest!! Feel better already!
We have been here for 7 months now (both me and hubby are scottish). I do have my brother and his kiwi wife and their kids here so we arent totally without family in NZ.
Problem is I've recently found out I'm pregnant (first baby) and every instinct in my body is telling me to go home! We always said we would give it two years before we made a final decision about whether to stay or go home and I cant quite believe that only 7 months in I actually want to go back!! Interestingly - I havent felt homesick until I found out I was pregnant.
I just keep thinking about all my family and friends back home who we will be depriving our new baby of having as part of their life. Our baby will miss out on both sets of grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins as well as close friends of ours with young kids. My husband says our baby wont miss what they have never had and of course there will be skype and ocasional visits etc. But it is just not the same as having close family who you can rely on nearby.
The ironic thing is part of the whole bloomin reason for us coming here was to have a better life for our family (once we started one) and now here I am nearly 3 months pregnant and desperate to go back home!
What isnt helping as well is the prospect of financial hardship and having to make so many more compromises than we had first anticipated.
I am also scared of going home and realising what a huge mistake we have made and I am still very aware of the fact that NZ is for many reasons a better place to raise children than where I'm from. On the plus side hubby is very supportive and (although he thinks I'm jsut hormonal which I probably am) thinks we will get through this if we just give it more time.
I am also feeling a bit weird about telling people back home about the pregnancy because I know the questions will all start about what are we going to do? are we going to stay here or come home? I dont want to lie to people but at the same time I dont want my mum and my sister worrying about how homesick I am.
Wow - Felt good to get that off my chest!! Feel better already!
Apr 6th 2010, 2:16 am
#57
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
Re: Homesickness
Ok the same old story, been in Hamilton New Zealand with my kiwi husband for over two years now with my three kids (two born in the UK) I can't seem to shake this homesickness and its getting to me now, my hubby and kids and the in laws are happy but not me ? I miss my life in the Uk, my friends, family, the choices, the feel of the place but don't have the option of moving back anytime soon. It would just be nice to know Im not the only one that feels like this from time to time.
but I am alot happier here than I was, but still have the feeling that its not right here in New Zealand, but things are looking up and I always think we might not be here forever but are living it the best I can at the moment and things are looking more positive And im sure they will for you too, 7 months is not long give it time x
Apr 7th 2010, 1:14 pm
#58
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 240
Re: Homesickness
Hi,
l just had to say that l read your story into how you went to NZ left then went back etc...you are an inspiration for others...for those of you new to the forum take the time to read all about this young lady and her families adventures...happy and sometimes sad she reduced so many of us ladies to tears bless her and yet she's remained positive and focused....very positive read above and again very focused well done to you...
Have to say though l do miss my read with my cuppa
Wishing you well and your family
Regards
xxElainexx
l just had to say that l read your story into how you went to NZ left then went back etc...you are an inspiration for others...for those of you new to the forum take the time to read all about this young lady and her families adventures...happy
and sometimes sad she reduced so many of us ladies to tears bless her and yet she's remained positive and focused....very positive read above and again very focused well done to you...Have to say though l do miss my read with my cuppa
Wishing you well and your family
Regards
xxElainexx
It has been great to read these posts. I logged in today for the first time in months becuase I am feeling seriously homesick and wanted to see how other people manage this.
We have been here for 7 months now (both me and hubby are scottish). I do have my brother and his kiwi wife and their kids here so we arent totally without family in NZ.
Problem is I've recently found out I'm pregnant (first baby) and every instinct in my body is telling me to go home! We always said we would give it two years before we made a final decision about whether to stay or go home and I cant quite believe that only 7 months in I actually want to go back!! Interestingly - I havent felt homesick until I found out I was pregnant.
I just keep thinking about all my family and friends back home who we will be depriving our new baby of having as part of their life. Our baby will miss out on both sets of grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins as well as close friends of ours with young kids. My husband says our baby wont miss what they have never had and of course there will be skype and ocasional visits etc. But it is just not the same as having close family who you can rely on nearby.
The ironic thing is part of the whole bloomin reason for us coming here was to have a better life for our family (once we started one) and now here I am nearly 3 months pregnant and desperate to go back home!
What isnt helping as well is the prospect of financial hardship and having to make so many more compromises than we had first anticipated.
I am also scared of going home and realising what a huge mistake we have made and I am still very aware of the fact that NZ is for many reasons a better place to raise children than where I'm from. On the plus side hubby is very supportive and (although he thinks I'm jsut hormonal which I probably am) thinks we will get through this if we just give it more time.
I am also feeling a bit weird about telling people back home about the pregnancy because I know the questions will all start about what are we going to do? are we going to stay here or come home? I dont want to lie to people but at the same time I dont want my mum and my sister worrying about how homesick I am.
Wow - Felt good to get that off my chest!! Feel better already!
We have been here for 7 months now (both me and hubby are scottish). I do have my brother and his kiwi wife and their kids here so we arent totally without family in NZ.
Problem is I've recently found out I'm pregnant (first baby) and every instinct in my body is telling me to go home! We always said we would give it two years before we made a final decision about whether to stay or go home and I cant quite believe that only 7 months in I actually want to go back!! Interestingly - I havent felt homesick until I found out I was pregnant.
I just keep thinking about all my family and friends back home who we will be depriving our new baby of having as part of their life. Our baby will miss out on both sets of grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins as well as close friends of ours with young kids. My husband says our baby wont miss what they have never had and of course there will be skype and ocasional visits etc. But it is just not the same as having close family who you can rely on nearby.
The ironic thing is part of the whole bloomin reason for us coming here was to have a better life for our family (once we started one) and now here I am nearly 3 months pregnant and desperate to go back home!
What isnt helping as well is the prospect of financial hardship and having to make so many more compromises than we had first anticipated.
I am also scared of going home and realising what a huge mistake we have made and I am still very aware of the fact that NZ is for many reasons a better place to raise children than where I'm from. On the plus side hubby is very supportive and (although he thinks I'm jsut hormonal which I probably am) thinks we will get through this if we just give it more time.
I am also feeling a bit weird about telling people back home about the pregnancy because I know the questions will all start about what are we going to do? are we going to stay here or come home? I dont want to lie to people but at the same time I dont want my mum and my sister worrying about how homesick I am.
Wow - Felt good to get that off my chest!! Feel better already!
hokey pokey - I feel your pain. But - I have a few things i need to say to you, not in order of your post............ Please dont worry about worrying your mam or sister. Once you have your baby you will understand that its a mothers job to worry and so you shouldnt feel guilty about your mother worrying. She is there for you no matter what, good and bad and now your about to embark on a new life she will totally understand that there are ups and downs. Tell her how you feel cause you'll feel way better being honest about it all. I read a post recently about a girl who told nobody anything and ended up having serious mental health issues due to a new baby and being away from everyone and all familiar places/friends etc....
Hormones are probably raging with you right now and you may not know what is real and what is fake - its so tough but I must say NZ is THEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
place to bring up children, I struggled with NZ for various reasons and its a long story which I wont go into now but I left after only 7 months and swiftly returned to NZ - anyways i would never go back because I see my friends kids and my brothers kids in Ireland now and I feel blessed that my kids are not there doing what they are. My kids have so much freedom and independence here. Kids are allowed to be kids here. They have way more respect (in my opinion) for others. They have grown so much here and in such a good way. Hard to explain kind of but in my eyes and also my experience, my children have it all. Way more than I ever had as a child and I dont mean in a material sense. I totally get what you say about your baby missing out on things tho. But really if you think about it - in real life terms, your baby wont miss out on anything because its your job to make sure that from the moment they enter this world you protect them from as much as you can. Your baby will be born, grow up and be envolved in every group of people you bring your baby into. As a parent you will choose wisely with those choices of groups of people you enter. Then there will come a time when your baby is no longer a baby and will choose friends of his/her own and will want to live their own life and what better place than NZ. Try and see the bigger picture. And NO its not a bed of roses with a newborn and YES its so appealing to have the family near by but remember your reasons for coming here. You can do this. There are many many support groups and usual groups where you will meet women that are in the same position as you. Anti natal groups will probably find you some best friends for life. And remember this one thing - Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.
I also felt my kids would miss out on nana and uncle etc..... but children just need stability in their lives. Its now a small world and if your in the right frame of mind, it can all work perfectly. My Dad died when I was 9 years old and I more or less grew up without a male figure in my life, in Ireland and without alot of what my own children have now, my mother coped and did a good job. Point being, there are worse things that could happen in life and making a decision to have a better life is a great position to be. I think that in the end I got to the place I wanted to be.............. But not without a struggle and a massive battle with my emotions.... Dont be hard on yourself. I truly hope you make the right choice because I went back home (well now NZ is home but you know what I mean) because of homesickness and i instantly regretted it.... I hate to hear of people making the same mistake, tho for some it just isnt meant to be........................... best of luck!
Apr 7th 2010, 9:55 pm
#59
`
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,613
Re: Homesickness
Well I've been here for 6 years now and I also still feel homesick at times...don't suppose that helps much..........
Apr 7th 2010, 11:07 pm
#60
Cow on the Beach
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: Seatoun, Wellington
Posts: 699
Re: Homesickness
After reading this and other threads on the subject, I often wonder, do people think that the ease of communication helps or hinders the feeling of homesickness?
When I first got here, I used to phone, video call, email and IM the family in the UK all the time. Being on my own it was a lifeline.....but....now the family are here I can't help feeling that daily communciation with the 'old country' is not helping my family settle in New Zealand. The trouble is that whilst it's great to stay in contact I think there is a degree of substituting 'virtual ' friends for real ones, which all the eaiser to do when you have to make an effort to make new friends and your virtual ones are just a click away. (says he posting on a web forum - now there's irony)
Also, I guess that 'web content' is always going to contain a far higher proportion of 'nice' messages (parties, holidays, jokes, photos etc.) than reality....except on this forum
So (in Carrie Bradshaw style)...
...when it comes to homesickness is it better to keep the flames of 'virtual' friendship alive or to burn all the boats including the Facebook Lifeboats?
When I first got here, I used to phone, video call, email and IM the family in the UK all the time. Being on my own it was a lifeline.....but....now the family are here I can't help feeling that daily communciation with the 'old country' is not helping my family settle in New Zealand. The trouble is that whilst it's great to stay in contact I think there is a degree of substituting 'virtual ' friends for real ones, which all the eaiser to do when you have to make an effort to make new friends and your virtual ones are just a click away. (says he posting on a web forum - now there's irony)
Also, I guess that 'web content' is always going to contain a far higher proportion of 'nice' messages (parties, holidays, jokes, photos etc.) than reality....except on this forum
So (in Carrie Bradshaw style)...
...when it comes to homesickness is it better to keep the flames of 'virtual' friendship alive or to burn all the boats including the Facebook Lifeboats?