Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Mar 18th 2008, 6:44 am
#32
gurt mint nit?
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
ABSOLUTELY typical experience - for me at least.
I think once you become an expat, you can never 'go home again.'
It broadens your horizons. You become a bigger, more rounded person. Lots of stay-at-home Brits I met (who think jet-setting is a five-day trip to Benidorm) feel petty and insecure and want to drag their ex-pat pals down a peg or two in that curious way Brits tend to do.
I hope your daughter was able to overlook the few stupid comments, though, and still had a good time.
I think once you become an expat, you can never 'go home again.'
It broadens your horizons. You become a bigger, more rounded person. Lots of stay-at-home Brits I met (who think jet-setting is a five-day trip to Benidorm) feel petty and insecure and want to drag their ex-pat pals down a peg or two in that curious way Brits tend to do.
I hope your daughter was able to overlook the few stupid comments, though, and still had a good time.
Living away from home in an adopted home changes you.
If you haven't been changed, then you have lived in a fishbowl.
You cannot erase the past and surely the experience either adds to you or it embitters you.
You are correct, tho, that living away makes you appereciate the place more. I have a mate there who is envious of the travelling I have done. I am envious of his "unquestioning existance". So we agreed to each be jealous.
High tide and green grass.
Mar 18th 2008, 6:48 am
#33
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Just to put another slant on this, I remember similar things happening to me the first time I went back to the UK (also at 18) after I'd been in the States for six months. My friends were a little off with me, constantly trying to remind me that I was a Brit and making fun of me (could it be because i was being a little obnoxious about living in Calif with a pool, sun, etc!!!!). Come to find out years later, when having a heart to heart with couple of same friends (who by the way are still my mates 20 years later) that they weren't jealous, they were really sad. One of them was convinced that I was never coming home (she was almost right; it did take a while) and just retaliated as all immature 18yo's do by pushing me away before I pushed her away.
Something to think about. They may not be doing this to be hateful. They may just be trying to hold onto someone they think is getting to be too different from them.
T
Something to think about. They may not be doing this to be hateful. They may just be trying to hold onto someone they think is getting to be too different from them.
T
Mar 18th 2008, 6:50 am
#34
Peace onion
Joined: Jul 2006
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Just to put another slant on this, I remember similar things happening to me the first time I went back to the UK (also at 18) after I'd been in the States for six months. My friends were a little off with me, constantly trying to remind me that I was a Brit and making fun of me (could it be because i was being a little obnoxious about living in Calif with a pool, sun, etc!!!!). Come to find out years later, when having a heart to heart with couple of same friends (who by the way are still my mates 20 years later) that they weren't jealous, they were really sad. One of them was convinced that I was never coming home (she was almost right; it did take a while) and just retaliated as all immature 18yo's do by pushing me away before I pushed her away.
Something to think about. They may not be doing this to be hateful. They may just be trying to hold onto someone they think is getting to be too different from them.
T
Something to think about. They may not be doing this to be hateful. They may just be trying to hold onto someone they think is getting to be too different from them.
T
Mar 18th 2008, 6:53 am
#35
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Moving away from home has made me appreciate it much more.. no question.. I had 38 years of experiance, life, family and friends there. And I will return home. I sincerely hope (cos im selfish) that my daughter comes back with us.. But could I blame her for wanting to stay?.. Nope
I hear your comments about how to 'manipulate' a conversation so you come across in the right way.. and ofcourse this is something she is still learning.. But lets be honest.. its not easy for her to make her life sound drab.. cos it ain't.. and maybe thats what they wanna hear?? Shame on them if they do..!
I hear your comments about how to 'manipulate' a conversation so you come across in the right way.. and ofcourse this is something she is still learning.. But lets be honest.. its not easy for her to make her life sound drab.. cos it ain't.. and maybe thats what they wanna hear?? Shame on them if they do..!
Mar 18th 2008, 6:54 am
#36
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
i left maghull, dropped out of college when i was 18 to work in sth of england and now that's home for me. i rarely visit l'pool as sadly my rellies have passed away except for one uncle who lives in garston. last time i was there was 2 yrs ago and wow had liverpool changed and for the better, it needed to. lots of £££ been poured into the city, well it is the capital of culture
have a great time regardless of the weather
<note to myself> always amazes me how the brits are so hung up about the weather when there's nowt anyone can do about it
Mar 18th 2008, 6:58 am
#37
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Just to put another slant on this, I remember similar things happening to me the first time I went back to the UK (also at 18) after I'd been in the States for six months. My friends were a little off with me, constantly trying to remind me that I was a Brit and making fun of me (could it be because i was being a little obnoxious about living in Calif with a pool, sun, etc!!!!). Come to find out years later, when having a heart to heart with couple of same friends (who by the way are still my mates 20 years later) that they weren't jealous, they were really sad. One of them was convinced that I was never coming home (she was almost right; it did take a while) and just retaliated as all immature 18yo's do by pushing me away before I pushed her away.
Something to think about. They may not be doing this to be hateful. They may just be trying to hold onto someone they think is getting to be too different from them.
T
Something to think about. They may not be doing this to be hateful. They may just be trying to hold onto someone they think is getting to be too different from them.
T
Mar 18th 2008, 7:02 am
#38
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
It may not be the case, but it can't hurt to ask. Course, they could just be jealous!!! Dang that little green-eyed monster.
Last edited by TaraC; Mar 18th 2008 at 7:02 am. Reason: left a word out - fingers going faster than brain
Mar 18th 2008, 7:07 am
#40
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
She's not the same girl she was when she left. Teens have to reestablish their pecking order.
Mar 18th 2008, 7:13 am
#42
Unmitigated Gall
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
You're not the only one... http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=482179
Mar 18th 2008, 7:13 am
#43
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Mar 18th 2008, 7:38 am
#45
In the pink
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
When I go to England I always revert back to saying petrol, the shops, pavement, autumn, and so on. When my family come to see me they don't change their vocabulary to fit in with Americans!!
My two children have normal/generic sounding names. When I was home on a trip, when they were toddlers, a friend said "I like your children's names, but why did you choose American names?" One of them was born before I even came to the USA, and the other has a Scottish sounding name. I thought my mum was going to go ballistic!
My two children have normal/generic sounding names. When I was home on a trip, when they were toddlers, a friend said "I like your children's names, but why did you choose American names?" One of them was born before I even came to the USA, and the other has a Scottish sounding name. I thought my mum was going to go ballistic!
