Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Mar 18th 2008, 6:11 am
#16
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,074
Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
I hope this doesn't spoil her visit too much, eh?
Mar 18th 2008, 6:12 am
#17
who turned out the light?
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: WA
Posts: 7,997
Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
I don't know why it is - I put it down to jealousy or maybe its the British mentality of not wanting to be positive etc - I don't know why.. 
but I got it too it is annoying.There are a few people that are genuinely happy when someone does well - shame they are of the fewer kind.
I'm not saying the US equivalent isn't jealous they just seem to express it differently like listen but boast about their job/life etc.
Both is annoying!
I remember watching American Idol and Simon Cowell saying at the auditions - "you Americans seem to be genuinely happy when others do well - we are not like that"
I remember being astonished at that comment as it doesn't put the UK in a good light
- at least we all aren't like that (British) shame there is a lot of them though.
Mar 18th 2008, 6:14 am
#18
Homebody
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Maybe the fact that she 'never want to live there again' hasn't gone down too well...
Mar 18th 2008, 6:20 am
#19
Forum Regular
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Location: Sacramento
Posts: 98
Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Yes, especially if that's the place these people have lived all their life. I left Liverpool about three years ago and I never ever want to go back for good but always have a good time on visits. There'll always be people taking the mick out you cos you live in America but it's rarely intended to be nasty so just take it in good humour.
Mar 18th 2008, 6:23 am
#20
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
errrrr............she's 18 years old, she's just talking like any other teenager that is enjoying their life right now and if any of her adult family members in the UK can't understand that then they dont know much about teenagers.........
Mar 18th 2008, 6:24 am
#21
Militant Ginger
Joined: Feb 2007
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Some of your know that my Daughter is in the UK for a week (she's the one that had a nightmare on Virgin Flight - 'suspicious sick person' on board!!)
Anyway..as any 18 year old would.. she has completely stretched herself all over the place to see all the friends and family that she can..
She calls me this morning almost in tears saying that she is sick of people saying things like 'oh its not ATM, its cashpoint, your not american ya know' or 'its not Gas its petrol, tut...' Then people saying " so whats it like in California?" and then she tells them they are like "yeah ok, don't rub it in" :curse: WTF?? Do they think she's doing it to show off?? Do they have any idea what its like to live in another country??
What do people expect??? Would they be happier if she was having a terrible time over here?? Mostly I have to say its her friends of the same age.. and yes its an immaturatey and jealously issue i'm sure.. but jeeezzzz ... Some family friends have also made comments!
Ofcourse she has picked up on the slang... infact all 3 of my kids have made an effort to use their friends terminology because they were sick of being picked up for their English expressions!!!
On one hand people are getting annoyed cos she can't spend as much time with them as hoped, and on the other hand their getting narked with her cos shes loving her new life and using Americanisms...
She was so happy to be home on a visit.. (although she never wants to live there again
) and I wanted it to be a really positive visit for her,
I just don't get people sometimes, truely I don't.. What's wrong with just being happy for some???
But s'ok I'm back in UK friday... I'll be telling some home truths and no mistaking
Anyway..as any 18 year old would.. she has completely stretched herself all over the place to see all the friends and family that she can..
She calls me this morning almost in tears saying that she is sick of people saying things like 'oh its not ATM, its cashpoint, your not american ya know' or 'its not Gas its petrol, tut...' Then people saying " so whats it like in California?" and then she tells them they are like "yeah ok, don't rub it in" :curse: WTF?? Do they think she's doing it to show off?? Do they have any idea what its like to live in another country??
What do people expect??? Would they be happier if she was having a terrible time over here?? Mostly I have to say its her friends of the same age.. and yes its an immaturatey and jealously issue i'm sure.. but jeeezzzz ... Some family friends have also made comments!
Ofcourse she has picked up on the slang... infact all 3 of my kids have made an effort to use their friends terminology because they were sick of being picked up for their English expressions!!!
On one hand people are getting annoyed cos she can't spend as much time with them as hoped, and on the other hand their getting narked with her cos shes loving her new life and using Americanisms...
She was so happy to be home on a visit.. (although she never wants to live there again
) and I wanted it to be a really positive visit for her, I just don't get people sometimes, truely I don't.. What's wrong with just being happy for some???
But s'ok I'm back in UK friday... I'll be telling some home truths and no mistaking
I think once you become an expat, you can never 'go home again.'
It broadens your horizons. You become a bigger, more rounded person. Lots of stay-at-home Brits I met (who think jet-setting is a five-day trip to Benidorm) feel petty and insecure and want to drag their ex-pat pals down a peg or two in that curious way Brits tend to do.
I hope your daughter was able to overlook the few stupid comments, though, and still had a good time.
Mar 18th 2008, 6:25 am
#22
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
I hear you! I don't know why it is - I put it down to jealousy or maybe its the British mentality of not wanting to be positive etc - I don't know why.. but I got it too it is annoying.
There are a few people that are genuinely happy when someone does well - shame they are of the fewer kind.
I'm not saying the US equivalent isn't jealous they just seem to express it differently like listen but boast about their job/life etc.
Both is annoying!
I remember watching American Idol and Simon Cowell saying at the auditions - "you Americans seem to be genuinely happy when others do well - we are not like that"
I remember being astonished at that comment as it doesn't put the UK in a good light - at least we all aren't like that (British) shame there is a lot of them though.
I don't know why it is - I put it down to jealousy or maybe its the British mentality of not wanting to be positive etc - I don't know why.. but I got it too it is annoying.There are a few people that are genuinely happy when someone does well - shame they are of the fewer kind.
I'm not saying the US equivalent isn't jealous they just seem to express it differently like listen but boast about their job/life etc.
Both is annoying!
I remember watching American Idol and Simon Cowell saying at the auditions - "you Americans seem to be genuinely happy when others do well - we are not like that"
I remember being astonished at that comment as it doesn't put the UK in a good light
- at least we all aren't like that (British) shame there is a lot of them though.I guess i'm just a bit annoyed that she has flown all that way to see everyone and they have haven't been so thoughtful in there comments to her... But hey she's a big girl she'll deal with it, another life lesson, But me being the mum - I feel her pain
Mar 18th 2008, 6:25 am
#23
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 15,019
Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Yes, especially if that's the place these people have lived all their life. I left Liverpool about three years ago and I never ever want to go back for good but always have a good time on visits. There'll always be people taking the mick out you cos you live in America but it's rarely intended to be nasty so just take it in good humour.
btw where are you from in liverpool?
Mar 18th 2008, 6:27 am
#25
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
I agree 
OK - //Old fogeymode on.....
Maybe it's time for daughter number one to start learning how to manipulate conversations in order to help her friends and relatives become more aware that there is a bigger world out there. I know that I couldn't have done this at her age, but if someone had helped me out with a few suggestions, then maybe I could have had the confidence to try...I was a little narrow mined in my teens...to say the least!
I use phrases that start with "It's interesting that....."
eg When someone was taking the pee out of Americans using "fall" rather than "autumn", this became an opportunity for a language and history lesson. "It's interesting how the Americans use the word "fall". This is an English word, a word which was in use in England at the time that the US was colonised. So, I guess we could say that it's an Old English word. Meanwhile, language in England continued to evolve - as it has all over the world - and "we" started using the French version.
For other random situations - especially politics in my case - I'm clueless!
"It's interesting that you say that. I don't really know all that much about the eg democrats vs republicans.Could you summarise for me what each party believes regarding: (insert choice here eg health, small business, research, war, environment)".
Listen, and then follow up with a few questions that draw out the good & the bad in the eyes of that other person. "Oh, so Bush's party believes A, B & C. What in your mind are the pros and cons of this situation? And how would that affect the teenager/retiree/working mum etc"
.... //Old fogeymode off//
OK - //Old fogeymode on.....
Maybe it's time for daughter number one to start learning how to manipulate conversations in order to help her friends and relatives become more aware that there is a bigger world out there. I know that I couldn't have done this at her age, but if someone had helped me out with a few suggestions, then maybe I could have had the confidence to try...I was a little narrow mined in my teens...to say the least!
I use phrases that start with "It's interesting that....."
eg When someone was taking the pee out of Americans using "fall" rather than "autumn", this became an opportunity for a language and history lesson. "It's interesting how the Americans use the word "fall". This is an English word, a word which was in use in England at the time that the US was colonised. So, I guess we could say that it's an Old English word. Meanwhile, language in England continued to evolve - as it has all over the world - and "we" started using the French version.
For other random situations - especially politics in my case - I'm clueless!
"It's interesting that you say that. I don't really know all that much about the eg democrats vs republicans.Could you summarise for me what each party believes regarding: (insert choice here eg health, small business, research, war, environment)".
Listen, and then follow up with a few questions that draw out the good & the bad in the eyes of that other person. "Oh, so Bush's party believes A, B & C. What in your mind are the pros and cons of this situation? And how would that affect the teenager/retiree/working mum etc"
.... //Old fogeymode off//
Last edited by Ozzidoc; Mar 18th 2008 at 6:33 am.
Mar 18th 2008, 6:28 am
#26
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,182
Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
ABSOLUTELY typical experience - for me at least.
I think once you become an expat, you can never 'go home again.'
It broadens your horizons. You become a bigger, more rounded person. Lots of stay-at-home Brits I met (who think jet-setting is a five-day trip to Benidorm) feel petty and insecure and want to drag their ex-pat pals down a peg or two in that curious way Brits tend to do.
I hope your daughter was able to overlook the few stupid comments, though, and still had a good time.
I think once you become an expat, you can never 'go home again.'
It broadens your horizons. You become a bigger, more rounded person. Lots of stay-at-home Brits I met (who think jet-setting is a five-day trip to Benidorm) feel petty and insecure and want to drag their ex-pat pals down a peg or two in that curious way Brits tend to do.
I hope your daughter was able to overlook the few stupid comments, though, and still had a good time.
For some of us it leads to a greater appreciation of our home country.
Mar 18th 2008, 6:29 am
#27
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Elvira... you seem to have picked up on that comment... Let me clarify for you.. My daughter is a sweet, articulate young lady... Not one that would insult someone in their own country by telling them she NEVER wanted to live there again... She is an 18 year old girl who went to college in Harlow and worked part time in a Gym.. She now goes to College in California and spends her weekends on the beach... Of course she wants to live here FOREVER... shes 18!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mar 18th 2008, 6:30 am
#28
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Mar 18th 2008, 6:38 am
#29
In Orange County, CA.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,210
Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
V true. She is probably just wanting to share her experiences with her mates back home. Its probably jealousy. Her real mates hopefully will not be so narrow minded.
Mar 18th 2008, 6:41 am
#30
Peace onion
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: Denver
Posts: 5,686
Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
I bet jealousy is a significant factor in this affair. I honestly do believe that a lot of people in the UK are resentful of others being successful. I hear such comments from members of my own family about "rich" people, as if these people just had it handed to them. That's one of bigger differences between the US and the UK. Over here, success is aspirational. Over there, success implies you screwed someone over.
I have one question... does she, like, you know, like, use, like, Valley Girl Speak?
Like with the maps, and the Iraq like such as.
Last edited by Octang Frye; Mar 18th 2008 at 6:46 am.
