welykuk

This attitude makes me laugh (and cry) as it shows the incredible efficiancy of a system forced on a nation of independant self sufficient literate productive entrepreneurs that reduces them to unquestioning consumers and fear ridden illiterates in just over 100 years. The guy believes he is free, even though his need to go against policy proves he isn't, just because thats what he was told. And this in a country founded on the principles of equality at least the UK has the excuse of being a class based society with ancient feudal roots.

Dan725

I suspect thats because stage 4 is a bit of an elusive one - you must've had some good times in stage 3 first to get there?

callé

Yes, some wonderful times. no doubt! But still all the while in the back of my mind still feeling somewhat out of place and really would have preferred to be in UK. Just goes to show how some adapt completely and some never do.
Ah well, I cant have those years back and maybe I dont want to cause I wouldnt have my precious kids. But I am thouroghly happy to finally be going home!

Englishmum

Ha ha ha! We were on an expat posting in Singapore before coming to the States and I can honestly say that most of the (European, Kiwi and Aussie) expats say *exactly* the same thing about the Singaporeans!

The culture over there is that they wait until the boss goes home before they will leave the building (saves loss of face) so they just shuffle paperwork around. On the other hand was used to grabbing a quick sandwich and eating at his desk in London...over in Singapore the culture is that everyone goes out to a hawker centre and eats a hot lunch..sometimes not returning to their desks until 2 hours later....used to irritate my husband a lot.

(When I worked in the UK I used to spend my 30 minute lunch break often popping in to the local M&S food hall to buy milk, bread or something for dinner....)

TouristTrap

I can so relate to most of what the initial poster stated, but it happens to everyone when they're confronted with a new culture. I think that most of us think that we know what living in the US will be like, after all, we've been exposed to so much of it via Hollywood over the years, or so we think.

It takes a couple of years at least before you feel you're somewhat settled in, and you start ignoring the 'bad'.

Read the Aus and NZ boards if you want to see culture shock on overdrive! :scared:

I have been here for 8 years, and there are still many things that bug me, but I've learned to live with it. Things like tradespeople NEVER EVER EVER arriving when they say they will, wasting my time, or the whole ra-ra- we're the greatest nonsense that goes on. Or the utter inefficiency of most people, which I blame directly at the feet of the schooling system in this state,...many many more.

But, I've gotten (yeah, can you believe I use that word ) used to it over the years, and shrug it off.

If I could, I'd rather be living in Europe where my entire family lives, but the hubby doesn't speak the language and it is one of hardest in the world to learn! poor bugger.

dragonfly

Regarding Misersble in America your comments what you do not like about the USA, my husband is having difficulty in adapting to our life here in the USA, he misses his friends and family but realises that moving back is not an option as we have nothing to go back for at this moment in time. However myself and daughters love it here we have settled in very well I think given time my husband will be the same.
As for your coments about the Americans yes they are very patriotic shame the Brits arent the same about the UK, my 2 daughters are doing incredibly well at school here my 8 year old is a straight A student and my 6 year old is getting on so well at kindergarten with reading etc, they both say the POA each day and at girl scouts and they both try to sing the Stars and Stripes.
As for Americans being rude plenty of British people in the UK are very rude and often ignorant.
Did you think through your move to the USA long enough we thought about it for 2.5 years before we made the move. I wish you luck with what ever you decide in the future weither to stay or return to the UK.

wildmark

Its simple, if you were overpaid then you should pay it back, i'm sure they will allow you to pay it off bit by bit.

wildmark

I'm sorry but the reasons you are wanting to quit are pathetic for the following reasons;

1. Whats wrong with believing tyou are in the best country in the world, in some ways it is...if us Brits had a bit more national pride we would perhaps get on a bit better.
2. Pledging alligence to the flag...fair comment, but the saying when in Rome comes to mind.
3. Plumbing, electricity, cell phones...WTF are you on about?
4. Drinking coffee etc whilst driving, thats done all over the world!
5. Manners - You should come back the the Uk for a little holiday, the yanks are some the friendliest people in the world.

I'm sorry for being harsh but as you have done, i have spoken my mind, the reasons you have given are very week at best, why not say that your homesick and have done with it, its not for everyone, and i'm not sure how hard you have tried to fit in but from your comments you sound very negative, did you not research these facts before you went?

Mark

PS If you are wondering how I know your negative.....I guessed it from your site name!!!!

ImHere

I take it you havent lived in the USA then or you'd know why these seemingly "pathetic" things can be cause of great consternation. If you dont understand what a person is going through dont reply with things like this...it really doesnt help someone who is having a hard time by calling them pathetic and a quitter. You're replies show you have no idea. Eg:

"5. Manners - You should come back the the Uk for a little holiday, the yanks are some the friendliest people in the world." Really? Why dont you come live down here and call them all "Yanks" and see how friendly they are?

Dimsie

Sorry, Mark, but you're out of order here. The majority of people who emigrate to the USA, either as the spouse of a US citizen or for reasons of employment or study, suffer the feelings described by the original poster.
We cannot all be wrong - no smoke without fire etc etc etc.
One or two brave souls manage to adapt with no problems, but these are the minority.
I, too, have been accused of being negative . My reply is "No - not negative, I'm telling it like it is". Ever heard the story of the emperor's new clothes?

wildmark

I spent 4 years in Tampa, two in Maryland and 12 months in Buffalo, does that answer your question.

Oh I'm sorry are these forums supposed to only present one sympathetic point of view?

wildmark

A positive mind can solve many problems, if you have a name on this website like that how can you hope to try to work out a solution to what is basically homesickness?

By the way I dont have much patience for people looking for sypathy, I apoligise for that, all i'm trying to say is that I think she is not being honest with herself.

Mark

emmals

this maybe true.....but a sympathetic ear and support goes a long way to make friendships.......all it takes is a little compassion

Miserable in America

As you say a positive mind can solve many problems, but not all of them. You don't know anything about me so you cannot say that I am negative. I have tried really hard to adapt here but it hasn't worked out. Yes I am homesick but that is not the main reason why I want to go back home. You have lived here but now you are back in the UK..... you have your reasons for this, and I have my reasons for doing the things I do. I posted on here because I needed some advice not sympathy..... I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for my situation, I knew what I was doing when I came here, it is just unfortunate that it hasn't worked out as well as I would have liked. The best laid plans can go wrong! We all make mistakes, but hopefully we can learn from them. I have learnt that the grass is not always greener, and what works for some doesn't work for others. I might not like living here but whatever happens I have gained a lot from the experience.

callé

Hi MIA. I'm here in Florida as well and I totally sympathize. Have you made any plans to return yet? I'll be leaving in October and the waiting is driving me crazy. Of course I've been here a lot longer than you but still only you can know if you are not happy somewhere. Good luck on your return. let us know how your doing