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Think long and hard, and then think again!

Think long and hard, and then think again!

Old Nov 12th 2010, 1:37 pm
  #61  
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Default Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

Originally Posted by Seneca21 View Post
Trying to make oneself all cosy by saying "When I get to X I will be happy for ever" is just being dishonest with oneself.
Maybe you just havent found that one place yet, or maybe you are just a resteless type. I am quite happy where I am and wouldnt consider myself dishonest. Ive lived in lots of other places. Many of the people around here havent, but then in my opinion they would be a bit nuts to want to live elswhere anyway and have good reason to be content with what they have.

Frankly I see no reason to ever have to move from where I was lucky enough to stumble into. But then everyone is different, that's why making gross generalisations is asking for trouble.

Last edited by iaink; Nov 12th 2010 at 1:40 pm.
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Old Nov 13th 2010, 12:23 am
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Default Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

Everyone is different, we moved to Perth in 2005, my husband was always homesick and I wasn't. After 2 years, a baby, our wedding and missing my Grandma's funeral and my brother's wedding in the UK, I felt differently and we moved back to the UK. I would never have moved back here if I had any doubts, and I'm pleased to say that the thought of being in Aus fills me with dread. I don't miss anything about it at all and I'm glad. I know 2 other people who moved back here just after us and have since gone back to Oz. They both thought they wanted to be back in the UK and then realised they didn't... as I said, everyone is different. Personally, Australia could never fulfill the things I ended up missing, bizarre things like old houses, churches, busy roads etc. Most of all I missed familiarity and knowing that even though I don't see my friends and family every day, I can if I want to. Memories are something that stay with you forever and if there's nobody to share old memories with you it can feel very isolated. I went out in Perth on my hen night and it was awful, none of my friends were there and I remember thinking, noone even knows my favourite song... you can't replace that.
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Old Nov 13th 2010, 9:57 am
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Default Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

Originally Posted by Tr1boy View Post
after 21 yrs of living away, I feel exactly like that about being back in the UK.
Hey!!! How are you and your lovely wife doing? Jobs? Home? Settled? And has your wife settled down there?

Barb
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Old Nov 13th 2010, 10:33 am
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Default Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

Well like it or not I am going to stick my oar in. I SO agree with all who have posted about moving to another part of the UK before coming back here to Australia.

I SO wish we had done this instead of coming back here. For anybody who has doubts go and read the thread called "50's and 60's Moving Back to the UK."

We are not a load of whingeing Poms (in fact most live in the US or Canada) but what we are is a whole group of people for whatever reason feel such a LONGING and YEARNING to return to our country of origin after 20, 30 or even 40 years of living in another country.

As you get older the "adventure" and the "gung ho" attititude we need to get on in a foreign country can sometimes be greatly surpassed by a feeling of homesickness and an almighty FEELING to go home.

It won't happen to all emigrants but it will happen to some........Caveat Emptor (buyer beware).
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Old Nov 13th 2010, 12:31 pm
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Default Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

Originally Posted by Bevm View Post
Amen!

Seneca, I did find your assertion odd. Moving, even a few miles, isn't an indication of wisdom or lack of it, and moving farther certainly doesn't make anyone better, wiser, or anything. Being a rolling stone can make some people detatched and indifferent to the communities in which they live. Not all, of course.

IMO, it's depth of connection to wherever we live that matters. Not something I'm always good at.

A person who lives in a neighbourhood all their life, interacting, participating, giving and keeping the story of it in their mind and heart is living a very rich life.

Bev
Hello Mummy & Bevm & Barb,
Amen to all your posts here, that Just about says it all, nobody is ignorant what ever they choose to do with there life, My Mum is 91 and has lived in the same country and city her whole life, she has many friends of her own age group, and also family ---- all living in England and never lived anywhere else, but my Mum and everyone I know back home have been and traveled to many countries in Europe and elsewhere in the world, so they have all seen a lot of the world --- so they are certainly not ignorant in anyway, actually they are very worldly, but they just choose to live in the country that they were born, they are happy there and they are smart enough to realize that they are better off there then anywhere, they never have to worry about paying a hospital bill like we do here in the States for one thing, and the United Kingdom is beautiful, It is certainly not all fun & games being an expat all your life, and I realize that some people on this thread are quite young, but when you have lived in another country or countries for over half your life like 30 or 40 years then well its a lot different, and you see things from another level, when your young and just starting out as an immigrant to another country of course its all very exciting, some love it and stay, but others just miss there family and country too much and they return after a short while, everyone is different, but if you do stay like a lot of people do, and decades go by and suddenly you wake up one morning and your in your 60's or 70's then to some of us like Mummy and Barb said we all of a sudden have the strong yearning to return home where we came from, it may happen to many of you youngsters on here too,
Believe me the years go by very fast, and all of a sudden you will all wake up one morning and you will look in the mirror and you are looking at a 60 or 70 year old person,and your grown up kids have kids too, and there kids have kids, and all of a sudden (YOU ARE A great great GRANDMA OR GRANDAD,
Time just passes thats all, all we all can do is have the most fulfilling life that we can, life is very short, whatever you do though make sure you are happy.
Take care,
Rodney.

Last edited by jasper123; Nov 13th 2010 at 12:38 pm. Reason: add words
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Old Nov 14th 2010, 1:37 am
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Default Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

Originally Posted by jasper123 View Post
Hello Mummy & Bevm & Barb,
Amen to all your posts here, that Just about says it all, nobody is ignorant 40 life is very short, whatever you do though make sure you are happy.
Take care,
Rodney.
Hello Rodney- I totally agree, whether it be short or long time - been there, done that, and know where is best for us.

Not long for you now! and for us - 100 days, and counting down!
We said on here, sometimes, no answer to your emails, and maybe they have forgottoen you - I thought that - but I sent a copy, of our flight deal, from the Travel Co, here, to my Daughter, and she responsded so well- said don't worry, Dad, all will be ready for you both, in number 17. So, we will be thinking of you, and getting ready to follow you, and to meet up. Regards Don
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Old Nov 14th 2010, 9:21 am
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Default Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

Originally Posted by Bevm View Post

A person who lives in a neighbourhood all their life, interacting, participating, giving and keeping the story of it in their mind and heart is living a very rich life.

Bev
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Old Nov 25th 2010, 3:23 pm
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Default Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

Originally Posted by chrissystevo View Post
I have been on this site a few times in the past, usually asking for advice etc. This time I thought I would share my experience and feelings, who knows they might help somebody in a similar position.

My wife and I moved to Brisbane in November 2009 on a 457 Visa. We really struggled the first few months down to being away from "home" at Christmas, having no furniture in our house, having a car that broke down. My wife was also struggling to make friends and find work.

A few months in we were both so down that we found ourselves finding fault in everything Australian - the price of food, bag checks, the driving standards, television, radio, basically anything. Anyway around May/June we decided that our hearts were still in the UK and decided to come back and booked the flights.

The funny thing was that not long after we made this decision we began to feel at home in Australia. We had made friends, my wife was working a lot. However we put this down to the fact that we knew in our minds that we were heading home and convinced ourselves that we had made the right decision. Friends suggested that we go back to the UK for a holiday to see if was what we really wanted to do. We decided against this as we felt we needed to keep as much of our savings intact as possible. Big mistake!!!

We have been back a couple of months now and know that we have made a big mistake coming back here. So much so that I am now applying for jobs back in Brisbane.

My advice to anybody who is torn about what to do is think very long and very hard about what you are doing. Remember what made you emigrate in the first place. Try to be a little forgiving over the faults of your new home until reality has truly settled in. If you are able to do it come home fr a holiday before committing to returning. Remember that in your absence friends and family will probably have moved on with their own lives.

Anyway that's my story, all the best people.
This one is easy for me. I came to the USA 30+ years ago. Didn't like it then and still don't care for it. For fear of being rude, I won't go into the details but I feel the same way about it 30 yrs later. I am planning my return to the UK.
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Old Nov 25th 2010, 6:59 pm
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Unhappy Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

>>>
The funny thing was that not long after we made this decision we began to feel at home in Australia. We had made friends, my wife was working a lot. However we put this down to the fact that we knew in our minds that we were heading home and convinced ourselves that we had made the right decision. Friends suggested that we go back to the UK for a holiday to see if was what we really wanted to do. We decided against this as we felt we needed to keep as much of our savings intact as possible. Big mistake!!!

We have been back a couple of months now and know that we have made a big mistake coming back here. So much so that I am now applying for jobs back in Brisbane.
<<<

Hi, I returned to England after 22 years living in S. CA. I moved back to be closer to family - although we'd been away from each other for so long we felt like mismatched strangers. Missing my U.S friends, after 5 months I decided to return to CA. The expense didn't matter - I shipped all my belongings, and a cat - I was returning to a place that I felt was my real home. As soon as I'd announced my decision, we all breathed a collective sigh of relief, and strangely life in the U.K seemed like it'd work out. BUT, big but, I'd told my friends I was coming back, and then felt obligated to them. (sigh). I'm glad I did return, because one of my friends, like my U.S Mum, fell ill and died after I'd been back for 5 months. So, I was able to spend some fun times with her in her last weeks. Another 5 months on, unable to find work, and I'm looking everywhere, every state, every town. I'm too qualified to find locally, and not local for the jobs I'm qualified for. I feel like I've come full circle in my thoughts. The reasons I left in the first place are still here, and my family, and a desire to travel around Europe are still over there. I'm feeling very torn...please excuse my wafflings - but I completely understand what you are going through. Good luck to you!
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Old Nov 25th 2010, 8:47 pm
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Default Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

Originally Posted by salgb View Post
>>>
The funny thing was that not long after we made this decision we began to feel at home in Australia. We had made friends, my wife was working a lot. However we put this down to the fact that we knew in our minds that we were heading home and convinced ourselves that we had made the right decision. Friends suggested that we go back to the UK for a holiday to see if was what we really wanted to do. We decided against this as we felt we needed to keep as much of our savings intact as possible. Big mistake!!!

We have been back a couple of months now and know that we have made a big mistake coming back here. So much so that I am now applying for jobs back in Brisbane.
<<<

Hi, I returned to England after 22 years living in S. CA. I moved back to be closer to family - although we'd been away from each other for so long we felt like mismatched strangers. Missing my U.S friends, after 5 months I decided to return to CA. The expense didn't matter - I shipped all my belongings, and a cat - I was returning to a place that I felt was my real home. As soon as I'd announced my decision, we all breathed a collective sigh of relief, and strangely life in the U.K seemed like it'd work out. BUT, big but, I'd told my friends I was coming back, and then felt obligated to them. (sigh). I'm glad I did return, because one of my friends, like my U.S Mum, fell ill and died after I'd been back for 5 months. So, I was able to spend some fun times with her in her last weeks. Another 5 months on, unable to find work, and I'm looking everywhere, every state, every town. I'm too qualified to find locally, and not local for the jobs I'm qualified for. I feel like I've come full circle in my thoughts. The reasons I left in the first place are still here, and my family, and a desire to travel around Europe are still over there. I'm feeling very torn...please excuse my wafflings - but I completely understand what you are going through. Good luck to you!
If you listen to your gut (feelings) not your head (thinking) you know what you want to do......simples........
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Old Nov 25th 2010, 9:32 pm
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Default Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

Originally Posted by Beedubya View Post
If you listen to your gut (feelings) not your head (thinking) you know what you want to do......simples........
I think you have to listen to your heart and gut. Why did you make the move, temporary or othwerwise back from where you were in the first place?

I have 90 days here to make my decision. Daily I have been filling two jars/glasses..depending on how I feel each day, one jar represents the UK the other USA. I drop a coin in the appropriate jar. At the end of 90 days, if nothing else I will be a little richer.

Don't let the doom and gloomer's get to you. Not many weeks ago I was sat in a beautiful location in the US where temperature average 70F each day. With everything on my doorstep. Yet I felt empty. Today's snowfall was so refreshing. Oh and in 10 job appl's I have had 4 responses. For me the hardest part is gong to be making the decision and leap of faith, once again

We make our own path. If I end up making a bad decision I will just move on. Surely to dwell in indecision has to be more painful in the end. To the original posters I say, go back to Aus, and if you find once again that you made a mistake, don't hesitate to come back. After following Beedubya's story i think she would agree
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Old Nov 25th 2010, 11:39 pm
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Default Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

Originally Posted by confusedenglishrose View Post
I think you have to listen to your heart and gut. Why did you make the move, temporary or othwerwise back from where you were in the first place?

I have 90 days here to make my decision. Daily I have been filling two jars/glasses..depending on how I feel each day, one jar represents the UK the other USA. I drop a coin in the appropriate jar. At the end of 90 days, if nothing else I will be a little richer.

Don't let the doom and gloomer's get to you. Not many weeks ago I was sat in a beautiful location in the US where temperature average 70F each day. With everything on my doorstep. Yet I felt empty. Today's snowfall was so refreshing. Oh and in 10 job appl's I have had 4 responses. For me the hardest part is gong to be making the decision and leap of faith, once again

We make our own path. If I end up making a bad decision I will just move on. Surely to dwell in indecision has to be more painful in the end. To the original posters I say, go back to Aus, and if you find once again that you made a mistake, don't hesitate to come back. After following Beedubya's story i think she would agree
Yes we all have to do what is best for ourselves.....right or wrong......but don't let false pride get in the way if you do make the wrong decision just go back home and start over again.

I think that was half of my problem when we first got here, I KNEW it was wrong for me, but somehow convinced myself we were giving the kids a better life, better weather, blah blah blah.

And in reality I didn't want to admit it was a huge mistake coming here, like losing face to family and friends who were so envious of us coming to the "lucky country"......we should have just got on the next plane home and I should have swallowed my false pride....
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Old Nov 25th 2010, 11:46 pm
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Default Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

And Confused oh yes I know all about that empty feeling. Last night I was driving over a bridge and it had been a really lovely day. The sky was bright blue, you know that really blue sky you get here in Oz. The sun was just starting to fade and I looked out over the water and it was sparkling and there were all these lovely boats and yachts bobbing around with all these big posh mansions overlooking the water, it looked like a picture postcard.

But me?

I felt nothing........and I thought to myself, some people must think I am mad but that's how I feel.......I got more pleasure out of British photo's on here in the "Rovers Return" thread this morning than I do in real life for what's outside my own front door!!
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Old Nov 25th 2010, 11:49 pm
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Default Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

Originally Posted by Beedubya View Post
And oh yes I know all about that empty feeling. Last night I was driving over a bridge and it had been a really lovely day. The sky was bright blue, you know that really blue sky you get here in Oz. The sun was just starting to fade and I looked out over the water and it was sparkling and there were all these lovely boats and yachts bobbing around with all these big posh mansions overlooking the water, it looked like a picture postcard.

But me?

I felt nothing........and I thought to myself, some people must think I am mad but that's how I feel.......I got more pleasure out of British photo's on here in the "Rovers Return" thread this morning than I do in real life for what's outside my own front door!!
Bee, I can totally relate to that sentiment. That's how it is for me here in the U.S. I feel like a fish on the outside of the goldfish bowl. I listen to people in raptures over some place or event here and I just look at them as if they are mad!

I try to find every picture, video and photo of Britain that I can find. I try to listen to every episode of Coronation Street on YouTube. That's real life, more or less, not being surrounded by some shallow, empty materialistic society whose people laugh at the most ridiculous things and get so involved in being "busy busy" they forget how they feel and what life is about. Total emptiness here.
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Old Nov 25th 2010, 11:54 pm
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Default Re: Think long and hard, and then think again!

Originally Posted by windsong View Post
Bee, I can totally relate to that sentiment. That's how it is for me here in the U.S. I feel like a fish on the outside of the goldfish bowl. I listen to people in raptures over some place or event here and I just look at them as if they are mad!

I try to find every picture, video and photo of Britain that I can find. I try to listen to every episode of Coronation Street on YouTube. That's real life, more or less, not being surrounded by some shallow, empty materialistic society whose people laugh at the most ridiculous things and get so involved in being "busy busy" they forget how they feel and what life is about. Total emptiness here.
I watch every episode of Corrie too!! I am a Coronation Street addict LOL!!

Oh you must get that little programme you put on your computer and it "cloaks your identity" so that when you sign into it, you log onto a server in the UK then you can watch ITV and BBC player!!! I LOVE IT

Sometimes the connection is a bit hit and miss but well worth the few Euros per month.......there is also a free one but I got a bit annoyed with the pop up ads......
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