Granted: Today is now Saturday, but now you have to work

I wish I had a Lotus Elise.

Granted. It's the Matchbox version.

I wish I could get motivated to finish these DIY projects.

Granted. But you made such a f**k up of it you had to pay to get a professional in to fix it.

I wish I could afford to get someone in to do the ironing.

Granted, but you can only afford it because you're now working 80 hours a week.

I wish I had the skills of an interior decorator.

Granted, now you look and sound like annoying Ty Pennington


I wish someone would weed my flower beds for me, it's too hot to stay outside