scrubbedexpat141

I work for a British company doing a job I could do for us in the UK, but instead do it here. I live in an apartment (not on a compound) and pay bills, do food shops, go for end-of-the-week beers, stay in and cook, get my car washed and serviced, go out on Friday, play golf, tidy the apartment, wash and dry clothes, cook...etc...

If somebody can clearly explain why that's not 'real' I'll be pleased to listen.

co durham boy

Sounds like you've rattled that one off in the boozer to your mates back home a few times when they jib you about life in the sun

All of this is just a game , just keep playing the game until the whistle goes !

scot47

".....Never count your money
When you're sitting at the table,.
Time enough for counting
When the dealing's done."

scrubbedexpat141

Life here can be easier than back home, but it can also be a **** ton harder.

Make money, enjoy yourself, stay safe, don't be a twat and hit the savings target.

What's fundamentally different about that set of rules here than London or NYC or Birmingham? Except it's harder to stay safe in London...

Millhouse

I like the choice of cities: London, NYC... Birmingham

DXBtoDOH

The "real world" is a difficult....phrase as it can be interpreted in many ways.

I would argue that it's not so much what you do yourself and on a daily basis. It really comes down to how you relate to/are exposed to the surrounding context.

Take the case of Dubai. It's true that on a day to day basis life is not too different from the UK. I eat, sleep, work, exercise. Live comfortably enough in both countries. Eke out some savings in both countries. The differences can be boiled down to more sun and greater disposable income here.

But living in Dubai does mean I'm cut off / isolated from a much larger world around me. The gulf between me and the server or barmaid is much, much, much greater in Dubai than in the UK. In the UK I have no hesitation jumping on the bus or taking the tube, which are driven by normal blokes. But the snobbery against public transport in Dubai is amazing. In the UK, when I go into a coffee shop or pub a normal person serves me (ok, increasingly migrants these days but even so...). There's a greater sense of connectivity as we're all part of the same general society. The income gap may still exist, but we can still both vote, for example. We still have the same rights. Rich people in London take the tube without blinking, just like the poor residents of a tower block. You're made much more aware of the differences in society.

But Dubai is wholly different. We're too easily cut off from the rest of society through economic, linguistic, political and religious factors even though we may live side by side or work side by side. Funnily enough, I only spent two weeks in New Zealand and it was a bit of a shock to be back in a place where there wasn't really that much difference between the bloke driving the bus or renting me the car or selling me food and me. But in the Gulf the divide is huge. And that's what the bubble is. It does distort perspectives when only brown skinned people pump your petrol, or where the server at an ordinary restaurant could never afford the meal you just had, or to live in a place where there's a whole set of expectations, tolerance and even unofficial laws that apply to certain groups/ethnicities/nationalities/religions while other groups face quite different standards.

I'd say it's comparable to the bubble that the very rich in London must live in, the difference is that in Dubai the bubble extends right down to middle class people.

scrubbedexpat141

I'd just read Birmingham so thought I'd throw it in.

Lots of good points in there, which I agree with.

But similarly, when does this become normal / real and when does the UK look bizarre?

Public transport is an interesting one. Tube? No thanks. Cab? Yeah, but pricey eh. London as a whole? Keep it, awful place.
I'd argue that in London / other major cities you're still pretty far removed from the person serving you. At Xmas when I went back I got my hire car, bought a sim card, coffee, some crisps and a bacon sarnie at Fleet Services and none were British serving staff. I'm sure there were some there but they're minimum wage migrants from Eastern Europe. They get very basic provisions and you can argue that in Hampshire (or the South East in general) they can't be much above or even above at all the poverty line.

I'm not saying they have it worse or as bad as some staff here, I'm not that daft, but I don't think the UK is as wonderfully balanced and free of social inequity as we (I include myself) like to think it is.

Basically, everywhere is or can be a bit shit. This place is not as shit for us as other places. If anything, this place feels more real at times when you consider the experience you're gaining, the knowledge, the interaction with vast numbers of people from all corners, the socio-political learnings you can gain by listening to people here.

I'm not blowing smoke up the arse of Dubai / UAE / Qatar etc etc etc. I don't see these places as perfect or completely 'real' when compared to what's 'real' in the UK....but I do see life here as real for each of us individuals. I see no reason to not take it at face value and enjoy it, learn, grow, achieve, save, spend, shag, cook, whatever.

Like I said at the start, I liked your post. Please don't take this as a giant disagreement.

Millhouse

I'd rather be poor in the UK than in the UAE.

Thankfully, the chances of either are very slim these days - unless I get addicted to Meth.

martinbkk

There is another post running on here about ideal setups. I guess that sort of plays into the "real" idea, at least in part. The reality or lack of it with much of the ME for some is that it's seen as place to be and earn, not a place to live and die. I know some expats in this part of the world who are now second and third generation having spent all their lives in these countries I'd say for them the whole ME thing is more "real".

So it's real in the immediate and absolute sense but less so in a more abstract whole lifetime sense.

Standanista

I have friends who are second generation ME expats and I would say their perspectives on life are limited. No doubt that comes in part from me being a travel wanker, but not 100%. I've got mates back home who only get out of south Yorkshire once a year for a fortnight in Tenerife but I reckon they're still more rounded then their ME-bubble-living equivalents.

I feel a much greater sense of connectivity with the bloke/lass selling me a pint in a pub in the UK, be they from Wakefield, Warsaw or Wagga Wagga, than I do with Thank You Sir behind the bar at the Holiday Inn Express at DXB. 42 Dhs for a 4/5ths full 500ml glass of Stella, don't forget your liquor licence, take your place at the bar beside a U.S. contractor who's driven past one too many roadside bombs in Basra/Yemen/Afghan; ask him what the Middle East is really like. It's no Wetherspoon's.

It is all a game, and it's each to our own as to how we individually play it. For me: head down, arse up, don't believe the hype, Google Translate the bullshit, UAExchange, repeat to coda, get out of Dodge.

Standanista

Good thread anyway!

Millhouse

All this aside... what the **** does it matter? No one will be retiring here.

Kakawax

Very insightful, and I guess for many that is the attraction whether it is perceived or not.. an illusion of a better class of living, not because one is particularly better off, but that others are significantly and visibly worse off.

If one can see that, as you clearly do, and can empathise then I guess one has a better chance of keeping feet on the ground, but for many I suppose the faux elevated status will go to their heads, leading to a psychosis where being back in the real world would mean a major ego deflation and all kinds of misery.

Ah yes the much derided eastern European immigrant... god knows this country would fall apart without them though, and how little empathy we show them for their suffering. Still.. it's a better life of sorts, their problems are more basic than ours at least, they only have to worry about finding the money to rent the 1/6th part of the room they share.

Seriously, there's a whole underclass there with mental health issues induced by loneliness and disenfranchisement... still some make it beyond those difficulties and forge a better life here, and they've certainly helped regenerate some of the more run down parts of our cities, Shirley in Southampton for example, a toilet with closed down shops ten years ago, now quite a thriving community.

But I digress... were you headed to the Island Scampy? They're still exporting talent to the rest of the world, at least until they build that tunnel.

scrubbedexpat141

You should read the next few sentences after the one you selected.

Shirley in Southampton has always been a shitpit. Maybe you prefer Polish shops to Indian ones?

Standanista

Spalding in Lincolnshire being another example. Albeit not all amongst the locals are happy with the state of affairs, but they're the ones who'd rather sign on then hang around smoking Lambert & Butler in Lidl's car park all day, rather than get up a 4am, drive forklifts, pick cabbages, pack boxes or whatever, but make a fist of it.

It's a contrast, what an injection of Poles and Lithuanians has meant there, compared to what the Pakistanis have done to parts of Peterborough down the road. Which brings us back to 2nd and 3rd (and 4th) generation insular expats.