Across the road, in the park, there was lots of rhubarb. I'd been watching it grow with a view to moving it from a public park to a private pie. Today I find that it's all been bashed flat. Not harvested, not gnawed, just flattened. No surrounding foliage has been damaged. This is a Sunday so I think it's the work of vigilantes rather than employees of a government agency.

I don't know any cradles to ask but those of you who do, are they scared of rhubarb? Do they have a cultural imperative to crush it, some sort of religious or primitive belief motivation? Is this perhaps the elusive feature that separates them from Americans?

Weird.

According to the Rhubarb Compendium...

The Qianlong emperor of the Qing dynasty (1644-1911) forbids export of tea and rhubarb to the Russians after a border conflict in the north part of China.
In 1790 the same emperor declares that the Western countries will have to do without rhubarb.
In 1828 the Daoguang-emperor sends out an edict to the effect that no more tea and rhubarb must now be sold to the "barbarians."


Maybe there's a local holding a grudge?

Oh, so rhubarb's an Asian creation. Perhaps I'm missing a message as subtle as a burning cross on the lawn.

No pie for you, barbarian.

I am scared of rhubarb. It reminds me of the triffids. It grows in special dark huts in yorkshire very quickly and its creepy.

You'd love it if a real man went and tamed it and nailed it down and delivered it in pieces for you to bake in a pie with apples. Especially if he stuck around and advised on the baking process between gulps of his beer.

Is my pie ready yet?

I was at a meeting at work recently where someone provided a rather fine rhubarb crumble. It was well received by all, though I don't have the stats on how many of us were immigrants, spoke English nor lived near to the university. Should this be helpful I will inquire further. However, the crumble did not seem to make anyone feel claustrophobic.

No. I'm sorry, my materials were flattened. They need perking up. Perhaps if you went over and stroked the stems?

A sorry excuse and, quite frankly, just not good enough. Back to the kitchen!

We've got lots of rhubarb - seems to grow well out here. My wife makes a great rhubarb and apple (or strawberry) pie.

Rhubarb and strawberry pie is widely sold here but finding a pie involving rhubarb that's not sweetened to ruin is a challenge. Hence my eagerness to bring I2C the materials to make one.

You could try cinnamon

Actually over the last few years I finally trained my wife to eschew cinnamon in the baking of pies.

But rhubarb grows like a weed here.

Rhubarb grows like a weed almost anywhere.

Seconded...we had to move ours it was taking over the raspberry patch.