QUOTE=Harrypottermouse;6464348]Er - don't shout at me...but slightly off topic about seats...but still about manners.

Whilst on our recent holiday in Scotland, my 2 and 4 year olds held open the outer door to the corridor for the washrooms for a man who looked 70+ who followed us out. This was clearly a deliberate effort by my children, and this man was in excess of 5' 10" tall and not once did he look at them, acknowledge them or even say Thank you .... can I point out bad manners isn't reserved purely for the young (however young). I was thoroughly disgusted with this mans practice and explained to my children in a very loud voice so he could hear....that he was a very rude man not to have said thank you and what they did was very kind.[/QUOTE]


This sort of things happens often where I live.....I hold the open for someone going into a shop or the post office and no-one says thanks. I usually just say "You're welcome" in a loud voice. A friend of mine says "Well, how rude are you!" Both work equally well.

Offer someone a drink and you get "Alright then"; makes you feel like telling them not to do you any favours. I absolutely hate bad manners, and there really is no excuse at all. More often than not adults are the worst offenders.

This sort of things happens often where I live.....I hold the open for someone going into a shop or the post office and no-one says thanks. I usually just say "You're welcome" in a loud voice. A friend of mine says "Well, how rude are you!" Both work equally well.

Offer someone a drink and you get "Alright then"; makes you feel like telling them not to do you any favours. I absolutely hate bad manners, and there really is no excuse at all. More often than not adults are the worst offenders. [/QUOTE]

I know what you mean about the "alright then". Here you get "sure" does this mean, "Yes thank you", or " OK if it will keep you happy"??? It doesnt sound very polite to me, but then i may be wrong.!

I remember on a holiday aged about 9, I held the door to a shop open for the people coming out behind my family, and then the family behind them, and so on... nobody paid any attention, or offered to take the door, and I couldn't find a moment to let go of it without it swinging shut in somebody's face. My parents had walked a good 150 yards or so away before realising I wasn't right behind them!

Well, this morning on the bus, an elderly lady got on and shuffled up to beside where I was sitting.

Remembering some of the suggestions on this thread, I was determined not to offend her, so I resolutely stared straight ahead, not wanting to fall into her trap.

She then began "ahem-ing", but I manfully respected her independence and refused to acknowledge her wily ways.

Finally she tapped me on the shoulder and pointed expectantly at my seat.

So I said to her, "What do you need my seat for, lady? You've got your Zimmer frame to lean on."

Well, I didn't want her to worry that I thought she was fat.

LOL, very good

Kudos to those who have at least some sense of good manners. This is what we have learned from our parents, and we honour them by having adopted their standards and keep them in practice. For now, these are your personal standards, and you should not feel obliged by anyone, nor show regard for "political correctness" if it does not fit with your standards. Anyone who abuses my attempts at good manners or any other act of decency, usually gets to hear about it on the spot. Those who simply don't care, or deffer to this "correctness" crap, either lacked a decent up-bringing or are just plain ignorant.
If you want to preserve your idea of what the "fabric" of life should remain as, stand your ground and damn the eyes of anyone who tries to pull you down.

I remember being really surprised when I visited Copenhagen. The extremely poilte Danes did not hold doors open for people following, they dont look behind either to see if a frail little old lady is there. Maybe they are just so darn healthy in Denmark that no-one is ever frail??

The seat thing, is it formal manners or being thoughtful?? Perhaps manners now have evolved into actions that are thoughtful and considerate towards others rather than a formal set of rules. If thats the case then seats should be offered by all of us to someone who we think needs it more. So this middle aged woman with an achey back should offer her seat to the young man with a gammy leg.

I have had seats offered to me, its the way its done that affects how I feel about the offer. If its an unobtrusive kind gesture then I am pleased and happy to accept. If its all done with a flourish so everyone notices the seat offerer's kindness then this seat offeree would be mortified to be the centre of attention. Sometimes kind old men offer you their seat, because thats the way they are. So what do you do then, accept his kind offer graciously and take the seat,risking everone else's disapproval? Or do you turn him down, also graciously, but risk offending him?? Would the polite thing to do be to consider his feelings and accept the seat rather than put your feelings first??

Moral conundrum for the day!!