Jingsamichty

Query on bus manners here...

I have been taking the bus to work, and by the time it gets downtown it's pretty full.

In general, I'd say that Canadians (well, certainly Calgarians) are kind and generous people, but I have never seen anyone offer their seat on the bus to a lady, whether old, fat, pregnant, whatever.

So I've been sitting in my seat on the bus, feeling very uncomfortable that nearby a woman may be standing, and unsure of whether I ought to behave the way I was brought up to, or if the woman would (a) be shocked that I even offered, and (b) take offence that apparently I thought she was old or fat or otherwise in greater need of a seat than me.

So, can I continue to enjoy my seat without feeling guilty?? (It's only a 20 minute journey)

Caitilin

i've done and continue to do that to anyone pregnant, elderly, injured or unstable, and htat includes the gents.

its manners.

Judy in Calgary

Ditto. As a healthy woman, I don't expect a man to offer his seat to me. I offer my seat to elderly and injured people of either gender and to pregnant women.
x

dthomas

What century are you living in?

Jingsamichty

Sorry, perhaps I phrased it clumsily. Of course I would offer my seat to a elderly or infirm man or woman, or to an obviously pregnant woman.

But, given that you otherwise fit and sturdy women would not expect to be offered a seat just because of your gender, would you be offended if a man did offer you a seat? Would you assume it was because he thought you needed it more than him?

...and would you take it?

ireland2canada

Aww I think it's rather sweet that you've even thought about it.
I would readily offer my seat to an old person etc, as Caitilin says, it's manners.
As a 'lady' however, if someone was to offer me their seat due to my gender I would probably just gawk at them. I wouldn't accept their offer out of embarrassment!

Male or female - we are all just people.

Caitilin

offended? no, expect it? equally as no. Accept it? usually, yeah, if they're kind enough to offer.

Jingsamichty

Good manners are timeless, and "manners maketh the man."

I was brought up (on pain of a clip round the ear) to offer my seat to a lady, any lady - in fact even any adult. Even though that was when I was a child, I still feel uncomfortable sitting if a woman is standing, as something within me will always consider it the right thing to do. It's nothing more than manners.

Caitilin

Thats also the reason i tend to accept - even though i'd never ask or expect anyone ot offer and tend to offer myself!

its manners. If they offer it would be churlish and ungrateful not to accept and thank them politely.

I always thought of manners as a game, a way for people to steer each other politely into what tehy want or expect.

mandymoochops

lol if a woman were to look at you strangely due to you offering her a seat just say this

"I'm not offering it to you because you are a lady, I'm offering it because i'm a gentleman"!

dingbat

Using the word "lady" is considered to be discriminatory in my office.

Judy in Calgary

I'm 56 years old and grey haired, as you probably can tell from my avatar. Occasionally young men and women and even middle aged men offer me their seat. When they do, I smile, thank them, and accept it.

But, as I said earlier, I'm healthy, and I don't feel that I'm automatically entitled to someone else's seat.
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Jingsamichty

Judy,

Looks more like 36 years old and blonde hair to me....

<This must be the politest thread on here today!!!>

ireland2canada

I would not decline the offer out of 'ungratefullness'. I believe you can be just as polite & well mannered simply by saying no thank you!

When I'm old though, I'll possibly milk it for all it's worth

Cookie

If offered, I would probably not take the seat but would spend the rest of the journey wondering if I look pregnant