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Offering your seat to a lady?

Offering your seat to a lady?

Old Jun 12th 2008, 2:34 am
  #16  
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Default Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

I have taken the C train once, last week, and I was offered a seat by gentleman. I thought it was because he thought I gave him a mean stare, as neither of us had seats and he grabbed it, but now I am worried I look pregnant!!!!

I certainly wasn't offended at the time. I thought it was sweet!

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Old Jun 12th 2008, 2:42 am
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Default Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

I'd be really freaked out and would hope that you got off the train before I did, or I'd think you were going to follow me or something.

If I was pregnant or older, I'd appreciate it
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Old Jun 12th 2008, 4:14 am
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Default Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

Originally Posted by dingbat View Post
Using the word "lady" is considered to be discriminatory in my office.

Discriminatory seems a bit harsh but it does make me wince when I hear it.... although if I hear it from someone from the UK, I chalk it up to cultural difference.

Jingsamichty, I think for most Canadians (at least in my peer group and younger) 'lady' has quite different connotations than it does in the UK. You might need that seat yourself if you 'excuse me lady, would you like this seat?' the wrong woman.
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Old Jun 12th 2008, 4:47 am
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Default Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

Originally Posted by hot wasabi peas View Post
Discriminatory seems a bit harsh but it does make me wince when I hear it.... although if I hear it from someone from the UK, I chalk it up to cultural difference.
What's wrong with calling someone a Lady? I say all it all the time. eg; Look at that Lady with the red coat. Is this bad manners in Canada?
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Old Jun 12th 2008, 5:14 am
  #20  
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Default Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

Originally Posted by Danny B View Post
What's wrong with calling someone a Lady? I say all it all the time. eg; Look at that Lady with the red coat. Is this bad manners in Canada?
It is not a term I hear very often any more. I know a female worker complained that a male client had referred to her as a "lady". She felt that it was demeaning, and that she was somehow not considered to be on an equal footing with a male worker. It's the "ladies who lunch" (and therefore don't do much of any value) connotation, I think. I didn't dare tell her what most of the male workers actually call her. "Lady" is the least of her worries.
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Old Jun 12th 2008, 5:54 am
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Default Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

Originally Posted by dingbat View Post
It is not a term I hear very often any more. I know a female worker complained that a male client had referred to her as a "lady". She felt that it was demeaning, and that she was somehow not considered to be on an equal footing with a male worker. It's the "ladies who lunch" (and therefore don't do much of any value) connotation, I think. I didn't dare tell her what most of the male workers actually call her. "Lady" is the least of her worries.
I know that its not supposed to be correct to refer to someone as a lady but if I use the word woman, that doesnt sound very polite. I think its because I spent so long working with posh doctors. To them, a woman would be your cleaner, a lady would refer to someone from the WI, or church. You know, common or posh. But then I still call men "gent", "gentleman" . I must be a whatsit, you know, one of those old things in museums, dammit, whats the word?
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Old Jun 12th 2008, 5:57 am
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Default Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

Originally Posted by daft batty View Post
I must be a whatsit, you know, one of those old things in museums, dammit, whats the word?
Dinosaur

Just like me.
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Old Jun 12th 2008, 5:59 am
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Default Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

Originally Posted by Steve_P View Post
Dinosaur

Just like me.
But I would be a lady dinosaur and you would be a gentleman dinosaur. We could compare spinous processes if you like
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Old Jun 12th 2008, 5:59 am
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Default Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

Originally Posted by Steve_P View Post
Dinosaur

Just like me.
But I would be a lady dinosaur and you would be a gentleman dinosaur. We could compare spinous processes if you like
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Old Jun 12th 2008, 12:08 pm
  #25  
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Smile Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

Originally Posted by dingbat View Post
It is not a term I hear very often any more. I know a female worker complained that a male client had referred to her as a "lady". She felt that it was demeaning, and that she was somehow not considered to be on an equal footing with a male worker. It's the "ladies who lunch" (and therefore don't do much of any value) connotation, I think. I didn't dare tell her what most of the male workers actually call her. "Lady" is the least of her worries.
that made me laugh
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Old Jun 12th 2008, 3:56 pm
  #26  
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Default Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

Originally Posted by Biiiiink View Post
I'd be really freaked out and would hope that you got off the train before I did, or I'd think you were going to follow me or something.

If I was pregnant or older, I'd appreciate it
See, that's exactly the type of response I'd be afraid of!!

Summary:

You ladies/women/birds are all mental and us poor blokes don't have a hope in being able to tell if you would like a seat, or whether you'd punch our lights out for daring to offer, or for making you worry about if you look pregnant.

From now on, if anyone wants my seat, you're gonna have to fight me for it!!!
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Old Jun 12th 2008, 4:24 pm
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Default Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

Originally Posted by Danny B View Post
What's wrong with calling someone a Lady? I say all it all the time. eg; Look at that Lady with the red coat. Is this bad manners in Canada?

Depending on the context, 'lady' in Canada can mean, like dingbat says 'ladies who lunch' - ie it can carry the perceived negative qualities of being 'ladylike' : deferring, decorative, mindless, feeble, bobble-headed doormats.

I wouldn't say it's necessarily bad manners but it is along the continuum of "don't you worry yer purdy little head, darlin'" type speak.
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Old Jun 12th 2008, 4:26 pm
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Default Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

Originally Posted by Jingsamichty View Post
From now on, if anyone wants my seat, you're gonna have to fight me for it!!!
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Old Jun 12th 2008, 4:30 pm
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Default Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

Thank goodness I don't ride public transport.

I most likely have a heart attack from the stress of trying to figure out whether or not to give up my seat.
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Old Jun 12th 2008, 4:33 pm
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Default Re: Offering your seat to a lady?

Originally Posted by Steve_P View Post
Thank goodness I don't ride public transport.

I most likely have a heart attack from the stress of trying to figure out whether or not to give up my seat.

I'm surprised that you just wouldn't bother with the stress and just offer your lap!

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