Piff Poff

I think what is upsetting me most, is he won't discuss it or contemplate a move to a smaller home in town. He shuts me down straight away. Says he doesn't want nrighbours.

Here's the kicker - he wants to move back to England (fat chance now). It will be a small house with neighbours. Can I run away screaming now?

Rete

Please feel free to run to the deep south of the US, PP. I'll shelter you from head in the sand husbands and give you a quiet and peaceful retreat.

My Canuck is the opposite. A twinge and it is off to the doctor for himself and he adheres to the doc's instructions to the letter. A somewhat refreshing change from the norm for most wives.

Gordon Barlow

Gosh yes, injury and illness are major turning points in many families' lives. Some of the recent posts on this thread are fraught with examples. My Dad died at the age of 52 after 25 years of marriage. That devastated Mum, and changed her life completely. It was twenty years of fretful drifting around southern Queensland before she got her act together enough to emigrate to England, where she and I had travelled together many years previous. She loved England - especially the south-west, and never went back to Oz.

My brother was set to inherit the family sheep farm out in the boonies, but it had to be sold so that Mum had a reliable income for the rest of her life. That was a major turning point for him, as you would expect.

Piff Poff

Thank you so much - can I bring the dig? She's cute?

Rete

Of course!

BEVS

Yes ya can .

bats

I agree. He's not getting one until he knows how to look after it

spouse of scouse

Sorry, but I'm so annoyed at your husband. He might only need you, but he's shutting you out and refusing to talk about a future that affects you both. He seems very focused on only himself - what he wants and what he doesn't want. What about you? It's as though he doesn't understand that his diagnosis is not just devastating for him, it's also had, and will continue to have, an enormous effect on your mental and financial well-being.

If I was standing in front of him right now I'd point out that refusing to face up to reality, and by extension heaping intolerable pressure on the only person he needs by leaving them floundering around without a clue as to what the future holds, is not likely to end well for him.

I hope you have someone there you can talk with, whether that be a friend or a professional xx

Piff Poff

I need someone to give it to him straight. I'm just white noise.

spouse of scouse

Oh I totally get that PP, I'm sure I'm white noise a lot of the time to my husband as well when it comes to his health stuff. My comment was just what I'd like say to him - maybe leave this page open so he can read it I'm only half-joking!

I hope you're doing ok.

bats

Get him to read this load of posts

Gordon Barlow

It seems clear that Piff Poff is rapidly approaching a drastic turning-point in both her life and her husband's. We must all hope she has some happy memories to look back on in the marriage - whether or not it does somehow manage to by-pass this challenge.

Gordon Barlow

I started this thread to swap Turning Point experiences of yesteryear. I also have a thread in the Rest of the World forum, called "Back in the Day", since back in the day is when all of my adventures happened. As a very old man now, I've probably only got one more adventure in me. Such is life.

Recently, my Rest of the World gang have been regaling each other with how the language has changed. What used to be taboo words back in the day, are too weak to be effective today. We couldn't say "hell" or "damn" in our grandparents' hearing, and one fellow told of being ticked off for saying "okay" at the dinner table. It really was like that. One horror story of today, reported a grandmother who thought she was being "with it" by adding WTF to every cartoon she emailed to friends and family. Her grandson had to tell her - very gently, we must hope - that the letters do not stand for "Way Too Funny".

Not really a Life's Turning Point for the poor old lady - but, well, who knows?

Jingsamichty

My dad finally retired this week from his "retirement job" at B&Q. He started it when he finished working offshore in the North Sea aged 65, and he packed it in this week aged 82.

bats

I feell this is a turning point but I hope it's just a hiccup. My husband had a mild stroke on Sunday. Weakness and speech problems but can walk. Some personality changes. Fingers crossed that normal service will be resumed soon.