Re: a joke
 

I just received my tax return for 2011 back from the Revenue Canada. It puzzles me!!!
They are questioning how many dependents I claimed.
I guess it was because of my response to the line : "List all dependents"
I replied: 2 million Native Indians; 1 million crack heads;
7.3 million unemployed people; 100,000 people in prisons;
Half of Haiti ; and 105 persons in the Federal Senate and 308 Members of Parliament.
Evidently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.
I KEEP ASKING MYSELF, WHO THE HELL DID I MISS?

Re: a joke
 

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

Re: a joke
 

Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

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Why can't Jean-Claude Van Damme light a fire by rubbing two Chuck Norris's together?

Because there's only ONE Chuck Norris!

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Why can't Jean-Claude Van Damme light a fire by rubbing two Chuck Norris's together?

Because there's only ONE Chuck Norris!

Re: a joke
 

so good he posted it twice.. :rofl::rofl:

Re: a joke
 

It hasn't done that for a while :p I normally get a warning.

Re: a joke
 

Not really a joke, but it made me chortle.

British people problems

Re: a joke
 

The Bogeyman lies awake in fear, each night, scared that Chuck Norris is hiding under his bed.

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I've personal experience with way too many of those.

Re: a joke
 

Santa say's to his Elf "I'm getting sick of this. It's the same old shit every year. Running about like a ***** in this stupid red costume, and at the end of it all, I always end up with nowt."

The Elf says


Some bloke walked up to the counter and said, "Burger and chips, please."
"Certainly, Sir," I replied. "Are you eating in or taking out?"
"***** off you *****," he snapped, before walking off with his food.

Re: a joke
 

Two unemployed Irishman saw a sign that said, "Help Wanted: Tree Fellers." One said to the other one, "We can't take that job. There's only two of us."

I have a Chinese girlfriend. The other night I asked her, "What about a 69?" to which she replied, "F*** off, I don't feel like cooking right now!"

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Re: a joke
 

I asked my teenage son "Why are your eyes red?" He said "I've been smoking dope, dad." So I punched him right in the mouth - the lying little emo ****er's been crying again!

Re: a joke
 

How do you make a moderator suffer?