Siouxie

I hear you! It took me about 5 years or so to make some good friends; though they will never be quite the same as 'me old muckers' back in blighty I've made some lovely ones. It just takes 1 person that you get along with and you will soon meet others of similar ilk.

Would it be too far to go to Ottawa for a meet up once a month or so? Just to get you started? There's a fair few 'meet-up' groups there, including a Brit one.

I agree with Shirtback, you have to put yourself out there and be open to any invites to social occasions, even if they are not your cup of tea - you'll meet others who perhaps you'll connect with.

Best of luck - and if you find yourself needing some Brit humour etc., have a look around other forums on BE as well as the Maple Leaf, there's some good'uns.

MillieF

Geordie....you might be the reason I move to Ottawa! I'm not thirty, but feel very much the same way...and I am afraid to admit it but some days move to an almost Oinkian point of view I have the dog, but sold the boat!

I've always regretted that I don't live nearer quite a number of posters on BE. I am (certainly feeling older since I've moved here) and am resigned, but you are very much in your 'prime'. I hate to say 'clubs' but what are your interests and passions? Might you find any friends that way? Most of my interests are political, so I have started trawling around council meetings, conferences on medical equity, town planning debates, anything anti Trump and I am meeting new people, who are more broadly like me...It sounds sad...it is! There are women's clubs on weaving and pottery, but they all like God's waiting room. Are you interested in sport?

How does your partner feel? Has he made more friends, or is he happy with what you have now? Are you feeling more sensitive because your friends have recently died?

Very best wishes and good luck

Shakyuk

Sorry for your loss mate.


I think the friends issue is what I'll struggle with, I've worked away before for long periods and it is very isolating to be away from your circle of friends. It can't be easy to makes friend's in the 30's either.


I think looking for like minded expats is a good idea though, I know if I was actually in Canada now and I seen a post like this from someone close by I'd definitely give it a shot.


I've picked up a few friends recently through things like running/walking groups and crossfit. Maybe something like that relational to your interest is a good place to try.


I think those long relationships you had in the UK with friends who you can joke about things that happened 20 years ago are never going to be replaced and while that's sad, it is a sacrifice of emigrating.


I have two friends in Sydney who felt the same as you for awhile, but in the space of a month they went from no friends to a huge group of friends now. I think a lot of it is in a positive attitude and putting yourself out there. Best of luck to you!



I think Oink's reply was more smash the glass and end it

DYOUNG77

I'm moving to Green Valley, ON this year. I'd already looked up the meet up site that Siouxie mentioned and I'm planning on trying it out.
I don't mind the odd small scale social interaction with Canadians but when I'm in a large group of people they are usually all from the same area the conversation always goes to that common ground, you know, clubs they used to go to, tv shows they used to watch as kids, the shitty 80s rock bands that they all seem to love so much.. Where's the 'pretending to blow my brains out' emoji? I know damn well I'm the same with my friends I'd just like to be able to 'chat' and have a laugh with some British people for a change.

Danny B

I don't mean to sound like a dick, but you will probably end up very unhappy if that is your attitude towards your new fellow countrymen.

Think of it in reverse, you are back in England with all of your English mates and there is one Canadian in the group. This Canadian hates Football and binge drinking. Says he wants to meet to more Canadians to talk about Hockey as he doesn't get on with Brits. I don't think you'd be invited out much.

Try not to compare your old UK life to your new Canadian life. It will only make you unhappy.

Partially discharged

Ha ha. I know Green Valley....isn't there a car dealership there that seems to be larger than its immediate population market?

In that area you are smack dab in the middle of 3 crap rock stations on FM (CHEZ aka Radio Supertramp from Ottawa, CHOM from Montreal and a station from upstate New York with a small playlist..

Crap 80's Canadian rock...Prism, Harlequin, Loverboy, Triumhp, April Wine, Glass Tiger, Bryan Adams etc.

DandNHill

I'm checking out the "Meet up" pages at the moment. Going to try my hand at QiGong in a few weeks.
I think that the easiest way any of us make friends is when we find common grounds. Most of my friends back in the UK were met through school and occasionally work.
With school buses it kind of rules out the schools here and then I've worked in some very small places since being in Canada limiting the options. Now I'm working from home so no opportunities at all. Added to all of that we ( my family) live in an area where the culture is so totally different to ours. Nice people just zero in common with them.

So as mentioned before we have to make the necessary changes. We're lucky we're only renting so we'll be moving in the foreseeable future. Just still debating where.

Shard

What is QiGong?

What is the culture in your area?

Siouxie

LMGTFY

DandNHill

Pakistani and Indian. Most of they don't speak English and haven't assimilated so it literally is like living in another country. My youngest son is the only white kid in his class and maybe one of five in the whole school.

I have absolutely no problem being in a mixed and diverse neighbourhood but it's tough here.

MillieF

How the hell do you do that Siouxie...you never fail to amaze

Shard

Are you ok with that? I would find that impossibly hard (unless they are already Canadian).

DandNHill

To be honest I don't like it. I don't like that my kid feels excluded because he doesn't speak Punjabi and I don't like that he is literally one of only 5 white kids in the school. I worried that all this made me racist and struggled with the concept but my 18 year old was very insightful and said that rather than racism it was a cultural thing. I can live with that.

If he had grown up in Brampton and always been a visible minority I think he could have dealt with it. But having been in regular schools until September he's struggling. So we'll probably be on the move again soon.

The benefits to leaving Brampton will be numerous. We're paying one of (if not the) highest insurance premiums in the country.

Partially discharged

I'm guessing that all the crossing guard jobs are already taken.

Not sure if you get that reference. I lived in Brampton from 1989-1992 ish and certain neighbourhoods were quite skewed to people from India. The surprising thing is that there were few indian restaurants for its huge population base.

Back then cradle Canadian businesses tended to dominate the 4 corners area which is near where I lived.

I wasn't aware back then of high insurance rates but I did have my car sideswiped by a delivery van and the car was a write off. By the time my insurance was ready to be renewed I had moved to the lakeshore area of Etobicoke and to underground parking.

Is there still that nice pub in Glen Williams near Georgetown?

DandNHill

I would imagine that in the last 25+ years things have changed somewhat. Lots of houses built since then. It's just one big suburban sprawl!

I don't know about the pub I'm down the other end.

No idea what the crossing guard reference is about.

One thing though is that downtown Brampton looks like it could have been the same for many years. I like it!