Geordie87

Hey guys ,

I thought about this post a million times and couldn't bring myself to admit it, I need friends. Back home in Glasgow I had loads of friends , social events group text chats and I'm really missing it .

So here is my story, I'm a 30 year old gay Scottish lad with a Canadian husband , we lived together for 5 years back in Glasgow before moving to Ottawa , my status is PR. We recently bought a house in arnprior and I work for RBC in the valley . I have been back home twice and and my family come here regularly for holidays but the one thing I can't let go of is I just miss having British mates who know what it's like to grow in the U.K. And have similar interests .

This is a weird post because I'm basically saying "will you be my pal?"

But if anyone feels the same or is nearby and want to see if we hit it off then please reach out . I'm not your stereotypical gay man , guess I'm what you would call "straight acting" but I do love both male and female friends and have always got along with both regardless of sexual orientation.

Geordie \ =D /

I should also mention the reason for these feelings after 3 years , growing up there was a group of 6of us who were the closest friends, done everything together , went through the same life experiences together , started going bar hopping together when we could and generally just very close buddies, this year two died in seperate freak accidents which has caused m to feel further from home than I have ever in the past .

Shard

Good post. Hope you will find some new friends.

Geordie87

Thanks !

DandNHill

I think you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
I had lots of friends in NS but since moving to ON a social life seems to be lacking. So I'm working on it now. 2017 is my year and I'm going to make sure I have friends to laugh with very soon. They're there, just have to find them.

Oink

At 30 years of age you're bit too old for anybody to care about being friends. Get yourself a dog or a boat and face the abyss and then embrace the fact that as you age, life becomes increasingly isolated and unforgiving.

bats

I understand what you're saying but you need to cut the cord and make new friends here. Which isn't always easy I know but it's part of emigrating.

Geordie87

Now that is one sunny outlook in life really cheered me up (actually did as it gave me a laugh )

Geordie87

[QUOTE=DandNHill;12177301]I think you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
I had lots of friends in NS but since moving to ON a social life seems to be lacking. So I'm working on it now. 2017 is my year and I'm going to make sure I have friends to laugh with very soon. They're there, just have to find them.[/QUOTE

Your completely right they are out there , I just find the sociability thing strange here, perhaps cos I live/work in n a small town I just don't find Canadians as out going as Brits

scrubbedexpat091

The problem I have found with making friends is the things I enjoy doing and interests are not as common in Canada (note I am from California, not the UK) so its a larger uphill battle.

Plus over 30 somethings seem to largely have kids, and if you don't have kids, it's hard to connect with people who do since their lives will revolve around kids and kid activities/school etc.

And of course Canadian's can be less friendly, polite they are but I haven't found them as friendly and open to others, but mileage will vary person to person, region to region.

Are you interests and hobbies in line with the area your in? Are there any groups/clubs etc that you could join?

Geordie87

Yea that's totally the situation I'm finding myself in , the few friends I've made here are all similar age to me and all have young kids , their time is tied up with family activities as it should be . Also like yourself I find that my interests are completely different from Canadians , especially small town Canadians , I'm not a hunter or fisher and my community seems to be mainly based around these activities. I would like to be more of the outdoors type but I grew up in the middle of a city lol

beckiwoo

Lol - glass half empty

beckiwoo

This is very true - it does become difficult.

I'm still got a few friends around the 30s mark that are still single and haven't settled down, which makes think easier. (by single I mean not married).

It's not easy when you move somewhere new and the connections you built with friends in the UK is never going to seem the same.

scrubbedexpat091

My wife is Canadian and has a lot of friends, they are all married though with kids, so she rarely sees them anymore, so even if from here it can be hard to maintain friends if your pathway in life is different which for us is no kids, and well people with kids rarely have time.

I'd say she sees a friend maybe once or twice a year now.

Shard

This.

Also, in this day and age, 25-30 is a bit young to be "settled down" IMO.

Shirtback

- both of them.

Also a +1 to "step out of your comfort zone" (paraphrasing: The quote function went wonky).

How long have you lived in Canada/Arnprior? It sounds quite recent?

Some random thoughts:

- it will never be the quite the same as the friends you made as a child/teenager.

- don't restrict yourself to a particular age group when looking for/making new friends. I have made friends aged mid-twenties to mid-eighties, gay, straight, couples, singles, with and without children in Canada. Some are local, some are geographically distant.

- get yourself(ves) out there: go to community events, all of them, even if they sound naff/you're not interested in in whatever activity is the "vehicle" for the event.

- volunteer for a local cause, association etc & persist: I've found myself friends, good friends, with a couple of people who I would NEVER have met nor considered as possible friends if I hadn't pushed into volunteer work.

- join a local club/class for something/anything, even if you don't think it'll interest you! I joined a local line dancing class some years ago, despite 2 left feet & no interest whatsoever in line-dancing, just because I was going out of my mind with boredom and it was the only class that fit my schedule. The line-dancing didn't last long, the friendships have.