Alinew

OMG! OM*G...

This is exactly what I am hoping to escape, this what am running away from, so please please do not let it be like that as well when we finally settle (or well, we won't settle...) once we arrive on the "other side".

I have this kind of annoying neighbour!!! She always thought we were super pals and so interested in her she could not keep away from us, and it turned BAD back 5 years ago, since I have 2 children and it is a nightmare... leaving in fear because of an argument I have generated at the start.

( I was working nights, living on my own as hubby working away, I couldn't sleep because they have a monster (well actually 2) of a barking dog, the walls shake when it runs in their house..., leave alone her being so loud, but not saying anything to her dogs even though we had mentioned that I could really hear them... so I went to the GP(ear plugs failing) to get sleeping tablets, then the neighbour started knocking on my door, too often, one day I did really piss her off by putting a note on my door for the postman to not walk between the houses please as the dog next door barks too much...lol, lol, lol, me half drugged up and her and her husband shouting at me, who hadn't slept for days and kept trying to keep my job. I tried to suicide! I swallowed ALL the sleeping tablets, I wanted, I NEEDED to sleep...nothing worked, I didn't sleep, I didn't die, I don't remember a blinking thing... I know paramedics came around, I must have created the worst chaos since the beginning of the world. Ever since she has been bullying me, harrassing me... :-(

I think if I am faced with the sort of same situation again, or like in your case, I would try to be ..."direct".
Sort of "listen, not now... it's -10C, am tired, blah blah, maybe tomorrow, ok?"

LoL...

I am sorry I had to tell you ALL about it ALL - but now it is done, you ALL know ALmost ALL about me and why, LOL,LOL,LOL...

I have much sympathy for your situation... and my advice is establish boundaries now, LOL!!! ... or adopt him?

Some other expats talk about how difficult to find real canadians, LOL...

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Kirstine

He knocked at our door 3/4 times lastnight, we ignored all times, the last time he knocked it was after 9 and we actually heard him try the door handle!!!! We usually lock the door anyway but I will definately be making a point to now! As my other half said, what if we hadn't locked it and he just walked on in??

Lychee

Honestly? He sounds like he may have mental issues if this is truly what's happening.

Alinew

Definetely lock the door...

I can't stand people doing stuff like that, personally... yes, totally agree either lonely, mental issues, etc... but still, it can be very unpleasant, and not easy to find the tact to straighten things.

If I were you I'd definetely try to tell him, to get him to understand that you don't want/need to be disturbed after a certain time? Like, you were probably trying to rest after a long hard day...?

Maybe also next time, try to "wean" him off your's husband attention/help with technical problem...

Just to be on the safe side and to manage the damages (to his ego) try to remain absolutely courteous (obviously, LOL) friendly but indeed firm.

I really hope for you that he moves, or maybe you find something else? Sad really.

(i would freak out!!!)

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Jo.Ru_onway

As i read through i thought at first he was just lonely but i think you may be closer to the truth. I think you have to be a wee bit careful how you handle the situation.
I know its hard but perhaps you will have to start ignoring him completely

If he trys the door again or gets worse i would jot down the incidents just for furture reference

triumphguy

And sometimes, you've just got to be blunt!

sac_de_loup

Next time, ask him if he wants to join your bible study class. He'll either run a mile or you'll have confirmation that he definitely has psychiatric issues.

Jo.Ru_onway

Still having problems ?

triumphguy

Or ask him if he likes bacon raw!

Oink

Tell him to get lost and he kicks off call the police.

Linda P

You could always get hubby to 'come on' to him........ maybe that would do the trick.
Second thoughts....that could backfire big time

Good luck....sounds like you'll need it.

Linda

fledermaus

Or you could try just explaining that you are British and so very reticent so you would appreciate a little distance.

kate holt

I have invited her in for the last 20 years - but she now thinks that its OK to come round every Monday evening without fail (this has been for the last 6/7 years). She turns up at 6 ish whilst I am cooking dinner for my kids - with no thought that it might be inconvenient. I have tried inventing Monday night evening classes - but she just keeps checking to see if my car is there and comes knocking again. Sometimes I give in as I feel guilty. But are we not allowed to have some control over who we want to see and who we dont?

sharkus

I'd politely say I'm busy and it's inconvenient at the moment. The problem is she's now got into a pattern and that'll be hard to break, but I would have thought after a couple of monday's of you being busy she might get the message.

kate holt

You would think that would be the case wouldnt you? But the thing with these type of people and I think the OP knows what I mean- is that they really are thick skinned or insensitive and don't get the hint. I've often said oh sorry I wasnt in/didnt hear the door last monday - why dont you call/text me before hand to check I'm here, she will do it for a couple of weeks and then goes back to turning up.

The only way to avoid her would be to be out every monday night (which I dont want to do) or be rude as all the hints in the world dont seem to be getting me anywhere! grrrr!