indiebird

On a nicer subject, I wrote a little note in Julia's diary yesterday after her coming home telling me all about her fantastic gitá down in la langhe grapepicking and treading, just to say 'thank you so much for organising such a good trip. Julia came home full of stories and was so happy and contented.' and got a lovely note back saying 'Thank you infinitely for your kind recognition. This gesture means a lot to us and we cannot say enough how kind you are.' Do none of the other mums ever say thank you then??

TestaRossa

Isn't that just normal language??!

I got an e-mail from Alex's school yesterday - all the boys in his year are going to be doing pyschometric tests before Christmas then given careers advice/uni advice based on the results. I'm really interested to see what they say!

On another note - Antonia has made friends with a kid in her class based on a shared language, English (her mum is Ozzie) and the a shared aquaintance - they move in similar circles to us. Now, I'm not a fan either way, I know mum wins pushy, show-off mother of the year award with a lot of people and she is the type to wear her sunglasses on a cold, dark evening inside - seriously but what has really bothered me is this....both kids are at a Catholic school and while I tell Antonia that in the faith I was brought up in we don't worship Mary I do otherwise try to respect their beliefs, so I don't say there is no God or that Jesus wasn't his son or that it's all a load of Bull, btw, what I do believe is irrelevant here, but I do try to keep things on a more historical basis shall we say than spiritual but without telling Antonia what to think about the more accepted points of Christianity - and this is the point - this is a Christian school run by nuns who live on the premises...They are a tolerant bunch and also really lovely ladies and I wouldn't tell Antonia anything I didn't want to get back to them that would cause them grief. SOOO - this little friend has told Antonia that Jesus is "pretend", unfortunately I know this has to have come from mum as mum is jewish....WHY send your daughter to a Catholic school??! I also think her daughter has got the wrong end of the stick and she has heard "false" rather than pretend but she is telling this to kids at a Catholic school, who, on the whole, are Catholic?! How lucky is she that she probably picked one of the very few non-Catholic kids to impart this gem to?? I'm gobsmacked tbh!! Not only is it not true - he's a historical person whatever people think of him spiritually but it could cause major problems for this kid if she tells others! I really don't know what to think! I set Antonia right and told her she can tell this kid that she's wrong and the he existed.

gelato

Testa - but aren't these quite small kids we're talking about? Surely if a 5 year old (sorry not sure how old your daughter is) takes it into her head that Jesus is 'pretend' the nuns and other kids aren't going to get upset. If they do that's pretty uncool.

Also -I wouldn't be too quick to jump to conclusions just because this child's mother is Jewish. She obviously made the decision to send her kid to a Catholic school, just as you did, so it seems likely to me that it didn't come from her but is something which her child either has her own ideas about or picked up elsewhere (maybe from the others kids?) I remember that my sister at that age made up her own religion with a whole theology to it - and our family are atheists!

TestaRossa

They are nearly 7. I know what you are saying but my daughter was quite upset about it. The nuns do lay on the whole he died to save us bit quite thick so it is there...As for it not coming from mum I don't see why it wouldn't - to me it would make sense that she has said something to her daughter but I think the kid has just got the wrong end of the stick. To Jewish people Jesus is the false messiah, but he isn't pretend!! Must admit I'm wondering how long before I get the same question about Santa... More than anything it was the fact the kid was saying this quite openly, I do tell Antonia my opinion but I also tell her that it's mine and I don't want her telling her nuns or the other kids what we've said, especially on the subject of Mary. Continuing to assume this has come from mum, you'd think she would've perhaps said something similar, but then I guess not all kids can keep their mouths shut anyway. For all I know Antonia is telling all the nuns her mum says that we shouldn't pray to Mary!!

Patty

I think very few of the mums/dads say thanks to the teachers here and when you do they are pleasantly surprised. I remember when we first came here and went to the intro meeting at the scuola materna - at the end I went up to the 'head' nun and quietly said if they needed any classroom assistance or help I would be quite happy to come in (cos thats what we always did back home) ....well talk about embarrassed - she ssshhhed everyone and then in a very loud voice said 'THIS mum has just offered to help out - what a kind thing to do dont you think ' all the other mums looked at me like I was some sort of alien! It took me a while to realise that most parents see the school as a place where they 'send' the children and not to participate in. I tried explaining about the PTA we have in the UK but they just dont get it

Lorna at Vicenza

Indie, sorry you got called into school.
I wonder why they rang your OH and not you. I thought they tried to get hold of mummies first.

indiebird

Testa, one thing I've learned about being a mum is that if kids can show you up they will!!! It's some sort of unwritten law! Julia told me that she told her teachers how much she loves to drink wine with her mummy!!! The classic I had once was having one of H's friends home for tea one day in the UK. The must have been 6 and we were not even at my house when this little boy pipes up: 'Do you have a car Mel?' 'Well I share a car with Harrison's daddy, which is why we walk home from school.' 'Oh. My dad hasn't got a car. He says it's not worth it until he gets his licence back. Was worse when he was in prison though!' What the hell do you say to that??!! Kids also get all sorts of weird ideas at this age and everything gets pulled out of context... so maybe this little girl heard something the mum was saying to some other grown-up and pulled it out of context? I dunno... tbh (and this is purely personal reasons -you know what my kind of ideology is like ;-)) I wouldn't send my kid to a faith school knowing that I didn't believe... pity there are not any Buddhist schools I know of as I might put my kids in one of those!

indiebird

These things fascinate me. I know, I know there are sometimes problems with them but even the most obscure ones I've done come out saying that I should be in some teaching/ social work role and that I'm a group member and a worker rather than a leader or an innovator. But I do have a creative side.... of course it is also likely that all the results I didn't like I've just wiped from my memory. It's a bit like diet plans. I look at them and think 'now this I could do.' The ones that look like too much sacrifice I discount as cr*p and then wonder why I don't lose weight...


Yes, I've had the same thing here. I used to go into H's school and listen to every damn kid read in the UK, just so some of them actually got to read with a grown-up once a week. Sad but unfortunately true. PTA was too cliquey so I ended up being a parent Governor. This was so interesting for me and was a good way of seeing things from a broader range of perspectives too. It's easy to be a parent in the UK and criticise everything without trying to make changes cos you only see things from your viewpoint. Much better to see things from your viewpoint as a parent AND the constraints the school could actually be under and why they made some of the decisions they did.

I think they've got the wrong number at the top of their list. It's peeing down here today but next week I'm going to go into the office and see if they can change the numbers round so they phone me first.

LivingHere

We tell our children that Jesus was a real person but we don't think he is the son of God. DS1 was telling his Italian friends this, who then told him that he was talking rubbish. When I told the teachers that this is what we believe but also we teach the children to respect other people's beliefs they started laughing at my embarrassment. I told them because I wanted them to reinforce the respect issue if they heard my son telling the other children that its all a story. Thankfully now he is at another school where we can chose morale over religion.

LivingHere

When my children are ill I always phone the school to tell them that they wont be in. I think its polite to do this but the teachers think I'm bonkers.

indiebird

yes I do this and they cannot disguise their bafflement!

TestaRossa

I mentioned what this kid said on here mainly because I wondered what your reactions would be. I was thrown when Antonia told me but also because she was so indignant that someone she sees as a friend could say something like this - at the moment Jesus really is akin to the Easter Bunny or Santa to Antonia and to be told he is pretend is probably as bad as when she finds out they are!! I also know my daughter is daft enough to tell one of the nuns what this kid has said. Would be interesting to see if they did just brush it off as little kids being silly!

I ring school and send in a letter, but I think it's expected....I'm never sure tbh!! One time the nun even rang here to make sure everything was alright!! Antonia was off about 4 days I think and there'd been an incident at school with the class bully and I think they thought it was to do with that which it wasn't. At least they were concerned..

dina1965

I think most children repeat (often out of context) everything they hear. I would immagine that a 7yr saying that Jesus is "only pretend" is just her way of feeling important and grown up - she has a piece of news -which she knows is totally unacceptable within Catholic school walls - and she's telling her best friend ! A bit like being the first in the playground to tell everyone where babies come from ...

As for Antonia telling the nuns ... isn't that part of their job ? answering questions and explaining why some people do not believe Jesus existed or believe that you shouldn't pray to Mary.

I also think it's our job to try and make our kids understand that everyone has different beliefs and thoughts so that they are prepared to defend their (or our) beliefs.

dina1965

just re-read my post and realise I sound like a pompous *!?*&%* - I honestly didn't mean to imply, and hope it didn't come across that I did, that the reason Antonia was upset was because she wasn't prepared to "defend" her beliefs against her friend's comments ! she's only 7 !!!

indiebird

Well I certainly didn't read it like that Dina. I read it more that we need to 'teach' our kids to do this in the future by constantly being open and letting them talk about things.