triumphguy

I'm so glad you've got each other - it really does help!

Be prepared for her to hit bottom before she asks for help (rather than money) though!

Stay strong.

Merry

Hi again Murphy family - still thinking of you. I'm sitting at the airport now waiting for my flight to Ottawa where I'll meet with one of my colleagues we've discussed - will let you know if I get anywhere. Good luck, as I said, I'm thinking of you all.

Poppit

Good luck for the future - I truly hope you get positive news soon.

Stay strong for when your daughter returns, because she will in time, unfortunately, when she is ready, until then all you can do is wait.



Poppit

themurphyfamily

Good news i hope. She has been picked up by the police this evening. I had a completely surreal experience with the police.
They phoned me and said they had picked her up but they didn't have the resources to take her to the safe house in Edmonton. They basically were saying that i would have to drive to Boyle where she was found and take her to the safe house myself.They also told me that they may have to release her as they legally couldn't hold her and that they would have to take her back to the house that had picked her up from.
I told them that she had a PCHAD order in place and that if they released her she would never be seen again. I told them that i had been in touch with our MLA and that it had been taken to the health minister just so they were aware how far i had been with this.
So right now she is being held in Boyle police station untill tomorrow untill they have someone to transport her .
I have to get her properly assessed now by a phsychiatrist unless that is she uses her right to appeal and get released from the PCHAD order.
How insane is all this..

fatcat65

How did things go, did you manage to get her to the safe house?
It does seem insane this whole process, especially when she's a risk to herself.
Stay strong keep fighting....any response from the MLA?
Thinking of you guys xxx

themurphyfamily

Well - need to keep this brief for now, I'm at work!
Yes, she was transported to the Safe House - she appealled the order and OH was at Court yesterday to state our case why she should remain there. The Judge upheld the PChadd order.

OH also stayed at Court to get a 'Form 7' for psychiatric evaluation and although the Judge said that they normally only 'section' over 18's, in this case due to the extreme nature and potential harm, he granted it.

So now daughter thinks she's going to Detox (voluntary) after PChadd, when in fact, she will be taken into a Secure Psychiatric Facility for assessment. She can be held for 1 month, and it is then reviewed monthly for up to 6 months. I'm sure she is just waiting cos she knows after PChadd she can just run away again and do what she pleases.....but I think she is going to have a bit of a shock! But it's what she needs and hopefully she will finally accept the help.

The only major issue now is that the Psychiatrist can't see her until Monday and the PChadd runs out on Saturday......another battle to see how she can be held for those two days rather than having her run.....!

bhoward2703

As a 24 year old man with no kids its perhaps tough for me to have any idea how you feel. As a young man I had some problems with drugs so I do understand a little how the dynamic of a family witha drug addict is, an it's tough all round.

All I wanted to say is that your strength and courage in dealing with this is inspiring. You should be so proud of yourselves for how you have dealt with this.

Stay strong, you deserve a knighthood if you ask me!!

themurphyfamily

Thank you.....but when you're dealing with your child, you have a tendancy to do whatever is needed to help them (within reason...obviously not breaking the law!) I think you will see from our posts that the issue hasn't necessarily been the drugs - that was secondary to the whole host of mental health issues that she has. We've been told Borderline Personality Traits, Reactive Attachment Disorder, FASD, ADHD, poss Bi-polar and more. Birth mother has been diagnosed with Paranoid Pschizophrenia and has been sectioned, birth father has depression, birth sister is a Heroin addict, birth brother is institutionalised....with that and the abuse that she suffered before we adopted her.....it's really no wonder she's a mess. But the problem is she is refusing help and taking drugs to numb the pain.

My OH is the one who deserves all the credit - he has battled so hard and now has an appt with the Ministry for Health for Alberta next Thursday to discuss the problems we've had......

No doubt all this has now scuppered our chances of getting perm residency due to the drain on resources.....but our daughter's health comes first and foremost. We have even been speaking to the Social Services in the Uk to see if that was a better option...but they didn't want to help either so what do you do!

Thanks to you all for listening to us - sometimes just writing down stuff is a help...makes it all seem real sometimes!

scrubbedexpat091

Mental health is one of the most ignored medical issue around, its amazing how hard it can be to get any kind of mental health treatment, medical system doesn't fund it well and its a domino effect from there.

Hopefully she will get the help she needs to recover.

airbornesapper

Amen to that................in spades.

triumphguy

Sounds like your hard work is having some good results. Don't be let down if things go awry!

Right now it sounds like you're trying to keep her safe until commonsense kicks in. In other words - the next ten years!

You both have already done much to be proud of even if you see few results right now.

canbritdenise

Sending you and your Family our very best wishes, and hope your situation improves this year.
(we also come from Swindon)

themurphyfamily

So we have some results,some good some not so good.Our daughter is in the safe house.She did try to appeal yesterday but i was in court and stopped her.I think the judge agreed after my coment that if she was released that she would go straight back to taking drugs and potentially harm any baby that she said she was carrying.
She was then taken back to the safe house with a well disgruntled look.
I then applied for a sectioning order which i was also granted.
The problem i have now is that the order she currently is in ends on Saturday and the Phsychiatrist cant see her untill Monday.I have to have her see the Phsychiatrist that diagnosed her because he knows her history as opposed to taking her to the hospital where a Phsychiatrist has said that unless she presents herself as Phsychotic (threatening to kill herself or cause harm to others,then they will release her within hours which is not what we want.
She needs to be in for the 30 days so she can be observed and they can tell us if she has all the traits they have told us she may have.
At the moment the social services are working on finding her a secure place untill Monday when she can be seen and certified.
I did ask the phsyciatrist if he could see her on Friday but he said his schedule is full and he is going to be out of town. (Typical)
He is the only Mental Health Phsychiatrist for this area.How crap is that.

So our daughter was oicked up in a place called Boyle which is north of Edmonton.She phoned me from the station and told me she wanted to trasfer our guardianship to some 21year old. I asked her who he was and she said he was an adult. I asked her how old her boyfriend was and she said he was 16.
I obviously said no
I ended up phoning the no of the residence that she was picked up from to find out for myself what had been going on (with some trepidation i have to say).
I spoke to some woman and pretty much got the whole story.It seems Our daughter had told them that she was nearly 18 and that the reason she had to get away was because "she had been adopted at age 2 and that we have been sexually abusing her for the last 7 years2".(the reality is far from that as we adopted her at age 7 and she was abused by her foster carer)
It also transpires that this guy that she wanted us to hand over guardianship to is her 21 year old boyfriend. This is the guy that phoned me and told me that if i didn't renew herr visa that he was going to kill me. (nice guy)
I have actually spoken to this guy on the phone and she had told him that she was nearly 18.
This is his reply


okay... we need to talk... i am now aware of her age... i feel like a peice of shit... u win i will never talk 2 her or look at her ever again even tho i have fallin in love with a girl i wasd under the impretion was almost 18... all i ask is that i dont get charged... because its not fair to me... plus satratory rape is not something i need on my criminal record... im sorry for treating u... when she calls me i am going to tell her she needs the help that u r trying to give her and that i never want to see her again... i came from a long line of gangsters and im working 6 to 7 days a week 10 12 hours a day... i am changing my life... i was doing it for her but now im doing it for myself... i would like to have a heart to heart with u on this matter.

This guy is 21. She also told him she was pregnant. (still to be properly confirmed as the safe house where she is won't reveal that information beacause she has signed a form that blocks us from being told anything)
She's 15,can you believe this madness.
I had an e mail from the Ministry today.It seems i have a meeting with at least 3 government Ministers including Minister Zwordesky on the 10 March. There is an investigation being started i am told. I have asked Dr Stan Kutcher( you will have to look him up to see why i would like him present) if he will attend the meeting with me as he would carry a lot of clout. I think that this is probably wishfull thinking on my part but as they say "He who Dares Wins Rodney".
Themurphy family

triumphguy

You're going to need a holiday when all this is over!

themurphyfamily

LOL. I think you may have a point.Maybe i can have a nervous breakdown of my own.